I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about what I do as a profession worrying that I might do something where I end up only playing a marginal role in process and then experience regret for not taking the opportunity to really push myself to stand within a pivotal role in process. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hopeless in my application from the perspective of believing that what ever I do it will never be enough as I am already to messed up. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because I am walking this process alone that I am not able to to effectively education and will myself to direct me into perfection within this process. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to “be something” in process instead of just honouring life and ensuring that I treat all beings equal at all times and do what is best for all life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place “what I do in process” as more important than ensuring that I create myself as a being that honor all life and all beings equal in every moment, and that I do not harm or abuse life, but support life and nurture life to express itself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to “be important” in process, instead of just ensuring that I am actually honouring life in fact, and actually expressing myself in alignment with life and what is best for all. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself worry or fear that I am not doing good enough. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear falling behind in process. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “let-up” on myself when “things get quite” instead of finding that point of self motivation, and self perfection within self where I will me for me as life as the perfection of life as equality and oneness and push myself in each and every moment into that point of perfection which is what is best for all and equality. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give-up on myself and think “its no use” I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself and think “its not use” and that “I am not getting anywhere” I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed laziness within and as me to direct me, and within this I “give into laziness” and not direct me here to direct me to apply myself effectively in self specificity and self direction in what is best for all, and not accept any excuse, reason or justification to “give-in” and go into a point of felling “its not use” I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within a point of “its no use” as within participating and believing this point I am indicating to self that I have already accepted me to “give into the mind” and give into “Me” from the perspective of who I have accepted and allowed Myself to create ME as. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my directive power to my mind, and to my past. I forgive myself for not allowing me to will me into existence from the perspective of willing me to transform myself and transform the nature of myself through supporting me through writing myself and investigating myself in writing so I can see actually the depth of me and how I am operating inside me deep within me that I have not seen and looked at before. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stay on the surface of me instead of pushing me to write into me and see the layers of self. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept me as limited through in accepting resistance as valid. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give-in automatically to “energy” for example when I point of resistance which is a form of energy come up that I ‘obey’ or am ‘influenced’ by that ‘resistance’ or energy to direct, or act a certain way, instead of me deciding what I am going to do and doing it. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into to tiredness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into routine I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into feelings I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only read things half way and not diligently read everyword. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to glaze over 100 things, instead of just reading 1 thing properly, effectively and exact. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to race through my day and all the stuff I have to do. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must “be somewhere” and so race through my application each day, and in this actually “miss my application all together” I forgive myself for not allowing me to slow myself down within my application and actually write out points in detail and specifically instead of writing about 100 points generally. I forgive myself for not allowing myself to push myself in writing but simply say “that I am effective enough” I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not able to open points on my own. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only get so far with points on my own. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is only so far someone can go and that I am not able to push myself beyond this point, and within this I forgive myself for not allowing me to and supporting me to push through my limitations and let go of beliefs I have about what is and what is not possible or most likely true. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I will push me too hard of I try and push myself in writing. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge graphic design as being less than law I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within going into graphic design and being insignificant I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience hatred inside me for “seeing me as useless” from the perspective of going into a point that is seen or considered to be insignificant in process by others. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project hatred, anger and frustration onto others which I have created inside of me in my past. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than others based grades one get in school. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at those with money who are working in the system. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to those that have a stable job. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write self forgiveness so that others will read it and think oh cool, instead of writing self forgiveness that actually support self here in the moment to investigate and open self up to reveal self to self I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of doing logo design stuff I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and define me as weak for going into graphic design. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that I have cool place in process, and hope with all my might, instead of realizing that this process is a self directed process and dependant on how I direct me within my world, not how process direct me. Thus I direct me and experience the outcome of that process. I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to trust my own decisions and thus believe that I must work in the system for someone else. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see graphic design as an insignificant role in process as the key point is law as this is where decisions are made. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the energy or feeling of wanting to quit. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop doing something based on an energetic feeling that I get to “want to stop now” and within this I forgive myself that I never push myself beyond this point of wanting to stop. I forgive myself for not allowing me to realize that to change self will not be a “comfortable transition” but rather “uncomfortable” as one push and will oneself to change who one is as how one participate within this reality. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my self motivation from the perspective of already placing a limitation or cap on my motivation from the perspective of how “it normally works” instead of me directing me as self motivation as self will as self movement as a point of self moving self. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am dumb I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others believing that I am dumb I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being dumb I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react when I read the new SRA lesson where in I believed that I was dumb and went into a reaction of fear of Not being able to comprehend the material which meant that I was not smart enough and am now falling behind and just don’t have what it takes. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I just don’t have what it takes in this process, and because of this will always just be a marginalized ‘middlegrounder’ I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not have enough will for this process I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not have enough motivation for this process I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a constant state of fear of falling behind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my anger and frustration I have an experience within self at “being ineffective within expressing me and opening up points” onto others.