Auto-Andrew and being Half-Here

Posted on March 20, 2011 by admin

I was reading some blogs just now and then half way through one of these blogs I realized “oh, I am not actually reading this blog” Have you ever noticed that with yourself when your only “Half Here” when you are reading something and just skimming through it. What A fuck up. I mean if I am going to read something I may as well actually read the thing, no point in just skimming over it to “get it done” which was what I was doing. I also wanted to write this blog, and was separating myself into multiple places at once instead of being completely Here within the single point I am directing. So first I will right this then, go back and read, and give myself the proper time and give that which I am reading my complete attention so I actually do read it, from the perspective of not separating myself into multiple places at once but being Here with myself as I read. Interesting that this way of only “Half Reading” something has become so normal that I don’t even notice when I am doing it from the perspective of not realizing or seeing that I am in fact not really reading but just skimming my eyes over the information. Another point that has been ‘bothering’ me today is my typing skills. I have been typing quite sloppy in my typing and not directing each finger to hit each letter in its correct placement but rather letting the hands just kind of type the words by themselves which cause me to have to go back and make many corrections, so rather thus, Be Here in typing. And Direct each letter as I type. So just some corrections in reading and typing to support myself to Be Here within my world so that it is Me Here in Full Awareness Directing myself so that I am not just running on AutoAndrew Fuck I even noticed this “AutoAndrew” today also while driving, and I mean that is when accidents happen, when one is not completely here and completely present with self while driving. So noticed a few instances of this today where I have become ‘accustomed’ to a certain experience of myself, that I have come to accept. However this ‘experience’ which I have become ‘used to’ is not such that I am Here and fully present, directive and aware of my environment or myself. So I must flagPoint this. So the point here is to identify / flagpoint this “normal self” which has become the dominant self in my day to day activities, and to assist and support myself to Stop myself from existing on auto pilot or only being half here, and assisting and supporting myself to identify when this occur and to stop and correct myself from the perspective of ensuring I am Fully Here, within and as Full Self Awareness in the Moment. And ensure that it is me here that is moving/directing my body, and that I am aware of my each and every movement, and each step that I take and make sure that I am the one taking each step and that I am not just on auto pilot. So to assist and support myself to become aware of each and every movement I make within my day, and make sure I am HERE within and as each and every movement/moment. And within this Stop participating / living in the mind, as thoughts, daydreams, pictures, emotions and feelings. And support me to bring through Me as Self Awareness, Self Presence Here in each and every breath. So that a New Me Emerge who is Actually Self Aware and Here in each and every breath and who directs oneself in the best interest of ALL.

New Job – Preparation

Posted on March 19, 2011 by admin

Before I begin writing this I am going to remind myself here, that what I write, is me. And that what I write becomes me. And what I write becomes my inner structure, and therefore to effectively support myself by writing an inner structural support that Stand as what is best for ALL, and that creates a functionally effective human being within the context of what I am currently facing , what I will be facing and where we are going in process in terms of bringing forth equality, an equal money system, a world that is best for all, and a human being that is dignified, self respected, trustworthy, and self honest. So today I met with my new boss to go over some details of the Job I will be doing this summer, which is Landscaping. I experience excitement and anticipation to “get into the swing of things”, and noticed all sorts of questions coming up inside me that really are only able to be answered in time as I walk the process of the job and see what it is all about, and see where I am effective, and particularly see where I will require to breath and support myself to strengthen my resolve in certain areas. I see one area where this will be required is “afterwork” as the job I will be doing I expect to be quite physical and thus one usually is quite ‘tired’ after work, and so may have to breathe in these moments to be able to continue effectively participating within my written work and desteni process stuff. Other than that I at the moment simply require patients and not get ahead of myself. So Just breath and focus on remaining here and not going into my mind at this stage and creating imaginary worlds of what all will happen in the future to the point of creating anxiety inside of myself. I am looking forwards to the job, and also getting a more consistent routine in place and have money coming in. We have a SnowFall warning tonight for the next day or so, so my “ Snow Removal” job may be going out with a Bang Here, or rather...A Flurry!

The FEAR Residing Within in Every Waking Moment

Posted on February 9, 2011 by admin

Ok going to write about a point that just came up as I was doing a vlog which has come up before or could say has not really ever “went away” but has always been here within the experience of myself, though given my experience just a moment ago as a reaction I had within this point thought Id write about it here to assist and support myself to open/correct this point as I see that the point is not at all ‘moving’ from a certain perspective but remains as a point within me that just sits there inside of me determining, directing, and influencing me within my reality, where in essence it is in fact quite a prominent point which I am sure is actually influencing me in multiple ways and that I have simply gotten accustom to just allowing so am here now “giving myself some insight” into some aspects of this. So the point was as follows: I was making a vlog and was making a few of them, talking about various points. I was not entirely satisfied with the content of the Vlogs though I was simply testing different ways of going about it and see what comes up in the moment. So as I was nearing the end of my vlog I was simply just speaking and I find at times I can “get into vlogging” and start to speak louder to emphasise certain aspects of what I am talking about. Anyways I herd my roommates get home, as I herd them talking and coming in through the front door. Now I have made some Vlogs while they are around in the house though not many as I prefer to make them alone, as I find they are actually not home allot and so I find I have ample time to make vlogs where I am alone with just me. So as I was speaking and I herd them come in , I immediately went into reaction and ended the vlog as quickly as possible. They caught me off Guard you could say. I find I am able to express myself better when I make vlogs when no one is in the house as I find I am able to relax more and am more comfortable when I speak. Though this point of fear that came up in the moment here requires to be looked at as it is still directing me extensively from my perspective as I have been noticing more lately how this ‘energy’ will come up within me in my reality in different situations so writing here as to be able to stabilize myself when this energy come up again, where in I will actually have some insight into ‘it’ instead of only just experiencing it and then thinking ok I better look at that. So have opened it up some here so will see when this comes again how I “handle it” as I do realize that I will require to walk this aspect of myself within a certain amount of process and thorough investigation as this point I realize is quite woven into the design of myself, and is nit tightly into many many if not all aspects of myself with its intricate root systems branching out and latching onto and within various constructs and ideas, thoughts and beliefs that I have formed and created and manifested as Me. I fear having to face them (my roommates) later. I see I am “not comfortable” with them knowing I am vlogging. So from a certain perspective I have already “defined my personality” as who I am around them and in relation to them and ‘conduct’ myself in a certain specific way which is “agreed upon” meaning everyone gets along, and there is minimal friction. Though by vlogging this does not actually “suit that personality” which is why I do it normally when they are gone. Meaning I have not “defined me” as one who makes vlogs all the time, like while they are home, they regularly hear me and have gotten used to me making vlogs throughout the day where it has become a common experience – this is not the case at all. One aspect of this is to “simplify things” by not having to get them involved with Desteni and what I am doing. I have discussed the point some though not to much in depth. They are aware that I make vlogs at times but perhaps not aware of the content I speak about. They maybe have an indication that it is “political based” Though I do see Desteni as a Mind Fuck for people, meaning “it fuck their mind” where no one yet in my world has been able to “take desteni on” fully, or embrace the process, but mostly resist it immediately or do not get it at all. Though the reactions towards Desteni I have found are not usually just a “brushing off of Desteni” but rather one judge desteni quite harsh, and have quite a reaction towards desteni, and so within this whole point of vlogging which I have mentioned, I tend to wait until I am alone to vlog because I am attempting to minimize friction with my Roomates. I enjoy where I live now and do not see my roommates “getting desteni” but rather more thinking it is weird, and then this causing friction and my eventual departure from where I am currently placed. Its funny, one cannot simply stand-up and shout out to the world how great and cool desteni is so to speak because there are only a few Destonians around at the moment, and I mean in my reality, there are none actually physicaly around me in my world and so I am still in way required to ensure that I am functional in my current reality, meaning letting people believe that I am Here in this world as a Normal Member of Society. I mean this is how I function at work – Like I am just Here in this world as normal, looking for a good paying job and wanting to be successful. (interesting Here now seeing the point for the first time of how it is necessary for Desteni to Walk as a Group) I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Standing-Out in my world as a Destonian out of fear of being judged. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how my roommates would react if they knew I was a member of Desteni. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to energetically react within and as fear with regards to what my roommates might think of me if they knew I was participating with desteni and if they knew what desteni was about. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people reacting towards me where in I am actually still accepting and allowing myself to exist within “energetic fear” created through and as the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speculate how others might perceive me if they knew I participated with Desteni. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of who I am as a participant of desteni. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing out in my world as I have a secret that I must hide which is me Standing Up For Life as a participant of Desteni. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself within my decision to stand within the desteni process. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto this world as the accepted and allowed ‘norms’ of this world where I have actually still accepted and allowed myself to “buy into” the ‘personalities’ of those around me and actually believe they are real from the perspective of me actually fearing the reaction of these personalities if they were to know what I was really doing, thus indicating that I am still in fact existing within and as the mind . I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what other people think of me as I walk throughout my day. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the experience of fear to direct to ensure I do not ruffle any feathers in so that I remain practical functional within this world while desteni gets established instead of me actually directing myself within this point for and as myself clear and stable and not actually allowing the point of fear to come up at all. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the secret thoughts people might have about me within there mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care and concern myself with the secret thoughts that people might have about me within their minds. I forgive myself for not yet having allowed myself to let go of this world all together where I allow myself to let go of “the old” where within I stop in every way my participating through caring about what is considered normal or not as “normal” at the moment is simply an opinion within peoples minds, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the mind as me fearing what others minds think of me instead of looking at practically in fact what the fuck the Mind really is where I See in Common sense that the mind is a system of beliefs and constructs programmed through ones environment and that in fact no one is actually “thinking for themselves” but has in fact become completely brain washed – and yet I still allow me to fear what people think when in fact people are not thinking anything at all – it is actually the mind that has completely take over the being and think for the person and I mean the mind is a dime a dozen, meaning they are all essentially the same. I forgive myself that I haven’t yet allowed myself to walk here as self trust within and as self alone within this world where I walk process for and as myself and realize that it is not about what anyone thinks or say’s or believes about me from the perspective of judging me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I must ignore what people think about me instead of realizing that it is about rather seeing in common sense and understanding “the actual state of beings” within this world and “how the mind actually function” within beings and stop taking things personally, as the mind is in essence automated and just running a program. I forgive myself for not investigating the energetic experiences I have of self in depth in so that I actually start to effectively see how I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as, so that I can stop and assist and support myself to live here as breath as Life as What is Best for ALL. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “feel down” when considering never again going to the farm. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still want to do this process for others instead of for myself and getting to the point of where I am actually walking this process for myself. I forgive myself for not actually giving a fuck about this world or the people or nature or plants or anything in this world except for myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the experience I have of myself as “feeling lonely” I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want someone or something else to take away this experience of me of “feeling lonely” instead of me directing the point myself, so that I am Stable Here, No Matter What. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself in my mind I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself in my thoughts I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself in energy I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from facing myself in my mind because it “happens so quickly” where I end up going into a particular energetic experience which is almost as if I am “not doing anything” but then when if I really look in that moment, I am in fact living and existing in my mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within deceptive energetic energy as that energy which one has become so accustomed to existing within that it is now simply natural to go into and in fact where one spend most of ones time. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘idle’ where in I ‘idle’ as how I normally experience myself but not considering that in fact this is actually a resonance of self as the mind as who self has created self as and that within this one is actually existing entirely as the mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a resonance instead of Here as Self as Breath. I forgive myself for not paying closer attention to who I am as energy and how I consist as energy and all the intricate kinds of energy and resonant experiences and energetic states of self that I have that “make-up” me.

Fearing/Judging the Truth of Self.

Posted on February 1, 2011 by admin

So Gian left a comment on one of the blog posts I made in regards to Self Discipline, where he mentioned the point of Breath and how he directs himself in Breath. I went immediately into a point of Self Judgment towards myself in how I am directing myself in this process. Particularly in relation to thoughts and the amount of thoughts and backchat and pictures that come up inside of me within my world and how if I were to actually write about everything that comes up I would literally be writing non-stop as the amount of thoughts that “I allow” is extensive compared to not allowing any at all. So I looked at the point of Gian being young and how others who are younger have less thoughts as they have less manifested systems and constructs inside of them where they are not as ‘integrated’ as their Mind Consciousness System as people that are 10 years older than them. So I went into immediate Self Judgment and remembered how when I was at the farm that I had more of a ‘Guard’ up and was more active in stopping my thoughts. And now since being back here in Canada I can allow much more mind shit because I do not have to face anyone as where when I was on the farm I had to face myself daily from the perspective of participating with those who were actively stopping their thoughts, or even coming face to face with the the portal or dimensions or who ever was in the body and in that having the truth of self reflected back to self from the perspective of knowing that “nothing was hidden” and thus having to stand face to face with another being and have them see into you and what kind of mind shit you were allowing. So in this I was much more strict with myself in terms of not allowing mind stuff. Though since being in Canada I have let-up on this because I am more alone, and can just allow certain thoughts and not have to “fear of facing myself” Because that is also the point I recognized while I was on the farm is that one of the main reasons I “stopped thoughts” and was more disciplined in “not allowing” mind stuff, was because I was ashamed of the stuff that existed inside of me and so rather I stopped my mind from the starting point of fear, which I realized would not stand the test of time, and eventually I would have to stop my mind from the starting point of self. So from this perspective I see that I still do not share stuff about my life my experience as I am ashamed of it, and ashamed of myself and essentially judging myself for who I have become. This point revealed over the last few weeks as I started communicating a bit more to my mom and dad about what I was doing with desteni, and basically they have access to all of everything I post on Facebook. I saw that because of this I started to edit or change what I posted in my blogs in consideration to them. This is a complete fuck up and is a cool point actually in seeing how the family structure completely and absolutely fuck with human beings and keep them locked into their ‘pre-programmed’ personalities. In some of the e-mails my mom started to write she would say stuff like I am not thinking clearly and if I needed time to come home and ‘cleanse’ in way and “sort my stuff out” that I could. So basically here this is the point of my mother thinking that there is something wrong with me. So I noticed that in some of the stuff I would share in my blog posts I would share about experiences that I was having within myself and how I see myself and basically just sharing myself as we have been doing in the desteni process since the beginning. My mom interpreted this as “me having problems” And from a certain perspective this is what I also interpreted it as because I could see then that I would not want to share a point because I would be wanting to avoid my mom seeing what I was writing as me having some kind of problem and so I would not share certain things. Not looking at my reaction to this I see that I am still judging myself for who I am, and what I share. And also still caring what my mother things, and what my family thinks. Instead of me finding that point of trust within myself to be able share any point of myself and not judge myself or define myself within a point of self judgment. But actually I share myself unconditionally without judging myself. So I see that I started to edit my blog posts on facebook because of “what if my parents see it” But this is actually cool that I see this now because I see that this is not a point that I am willing to accept and allow as myself and within this seeing this see that this is actually me standing up as myself and not accepting and allowing myself to be defined by and through ‘family’. Where in I see that I will not accept and allow myself to limit myself and or exist within this “family construct” any longer. So this is simply another stage if you will of facing myself and facing my family. Where now they have became a little more active and thus I am facing the point of now being able to still express me openly and unconditionally as who I really am, regardless of what they may think or perceive and particularly seeing how I actually was/am still existing within the personality of myself as Andrew as who I defined myself to be through my family as how I existed in relation to my family. And who they perceived me as and believed me to be. And so see that in ‘editing’ my posts that I was/am still existing within Aspects of myself as Andrew within the context of my Family. So cool now to “break out” of this construct and not accept and allow myself to exist as that Andrew any longer as that is not who I am willing to accept and allow myself to be as rather I stand up for and as life as equality and what is best for all as life support as “the truth” of who we actually are, and no longer accept and allow myself to “hide” within personalities and ideas, and constructs, as that is Not in fact the truth of Who we are, and thus I will not accept and allow myself to exist within an application of Hiding the actual truth of ourselves which is exactly what the family construct support – the hiding of oneself within an accepted and allowed existence of Hiding, masking and suppressing the real truth of oneself and who we really are in fact. Now I noticed this point about a week ago with regards to how I was being influenced by and through accepting and allowing myself to continue existing within a personality connected to and created within and defined according to “who I was within my family”. Though another aspect of this revealed yesterday as I read one of Pauls posts he recently posted with regards to sexuality. Within his post he was basically exploring and investigating himself within the point of sexuality. Now I did not really read the entire post but more just skimmed over it, but the point came up of that this post was actually someone sharing the truth of themselves in terms of how they are actually existing as. I saw that I had in way not been doing this to the degree where I have actually started to suppress this point within myself. So I saw a point of shame within myself, in terms of there are still points I do not share or am ashamed of within myself and so within seeing this shame see that I am still judging me and holding onto judgments towards myself and that I – Why would I judge myself? I mean why not just forgive myself. And so see how I actually still have many judgements towards myself which “come up” in terms of how perceive others will see me with regards to the truth of myself, though within bringing this point “back to self” recognize that this is in fact a Self Judgment I have towards myself and that I am allowing myself to exist as, and not actually forgive myself. So must now really look at what specific points am I not yet forgiving and am judging myself for. Ok Thats it for now.

Opening Up a Reaction To SRA – Daily Blogging.

Posted on January 22, 2011 by admin

Ok so a point came up today when listening to one of the latest points with regards to the direction of SRA and Desteni I Process. The point was that some of the ‘groups’ would be now “going back” to do Mind Constructs for another 6 months! I emphasise this as 6 months I see as quite a long time. And also the option was open for anyone really who wants to go back and do Mind Constructs for another 6 months. So I reacted to this point as follows. As I was not clear whether my group was required to go back or not I then saw that this would then be a decision that I would make from the perspective of being self-honest within the point and going back to do another 6 months of Mind Constructs so that I can effectively prepare myself to be and effective buddy where I am able to effectively support another through walking with them through their mind constructs from beginning to end. I see that I want to be effective with this point, and to have a solid foundation and understanding of doing Mind Constructs. So from this perspective yes of course it would be a cool support to do another 6 months of mind constructs. Initially I thought everybody would be stopping and doing the 6 months of mind constructs which was cool. I was fine with this. Though it turns out that some of the groups in SRA that are further ahead will simply continue on as usual. So when hearing this I had a reaction. The point initially I see is in relation to “falling behind” and that those that are “further ahead” are “more advanced” and are thus “from my perspective” “not equal” meaning they have an advantage in understanding the material. And so here a point of comparison is coming up where I “want to be the best” where I “want to be ahead with the advanced group” why? Because I perceive that they are getting “more support” and thus will Self-Realize quicker. Or just overall, more effective and aware and directive in process. So I see that within this point I am “wanting support” as one of the “Key reactive points” was this point of them getting “more support” Ok so am seeing a point of inferiority here as well, where I am seeing myself as “less-than” those that are able to move on and keep working on SRA. Particularly working with Resonances. I have been wanting to start working with the Resonances because the support one receive through this process is always very cool, though my starting point for ‘Wanting’ this is simply just that – It is “A Want” where in I am limiting myself by “holding myself down” from the perspective of “wanting to, or waiting for” the Resonances to “tell me what is going on with me” and that I perceive that I can get ‘better assistance’ from than, than I can give to myself. I also see here the correction which is simply pushing myself to support myself and push me to go deeper and deeper into self and will myself into and effective application of self support and self investigation where I direct myself to uncover me and no more accept and allow myself “wait around” for Bernard or Resonances to “give direction” from the perspective of placing these two points in my world as “the ultimate points” and there in accepting and allowing myself to stand “less than” these two points, instead of me simply “walking into the unknown” where I push and develop ways to support me that I have not yet explored, where in I actually really investigate me, and get to know myself, and realize that I am able to actually effectively support myself with just me alone though my own self directed self willed application. This Reaction I Had was also in relation to “my ability” to do Muscle Communication, and I can see also that I ran into a bit of a snag with the last few points on my most recent SRA lessons with Leila as my buddy, and so went into a point of fearing, when hearing this point today, that I am not effective enough in Muscle Communication and thus I would be “held back” and go back and do the 6 months of Mind Constructs. I also “see myself” as ‘struggling’ with the Resonance Work, like “my foundation” is not stable, so here am actually seeing me in the future on chat with resonances and them asking me to test a point and I “am lost” Ok so seeing a memory here now wanting to emerge out of the darkness about school. Like the experience one have in school where you simply do not know the answers, and are left “feeling lost” and have no grounding. And so in this Future Projection I am on chat with resonances and they are asking me to test some information and I am struggling and fumbling and it is clear that I am not prepared and they are waiting for me but seeing that I am “just trying to keep up” and not effectively prepared. Shit this is quite a specific projection, though am not seeing a specific memory that this related to, simply the ‘general memory’ of how this “type of experience” would be one that one would have in school or something like this. Though also seeing a point of “Hockey” coming up here, where I used to go to Hockey Schools and Camps, and some of them were “more competitive” and really preparing you to play in competitive hockey and so I would “step into these” scenarios where I felt a bit “out of place” as everything was moving so fast and I was there “just trying to keep up” and so there was always allot happening on the ice, and players going everywhere and coaches shouting out orders, and particularly if this was a “new team” or “situation” I would really have to focus on ensuring that I “understood” each point clearly, as the coaches made it clear that if you do not understand how to do the drill – Don’t Go! And this meant you go to the back of the line and basically get a “black mark” on your name as they see you “did not understand what they say” Fuck this was a pressure cooker experience. And so you would watch the players ahead of you run through the drill, and you would focus intently on them and observe what you were supposed to do, and then it was your turn and Fuck you better get it right, and so the drill would begin and you (I) would “give it my all” as often you were doing tryouts, or even just “trying out” all the time, as to “earn more ice time” or when I would be “trying to make a team” Quite a stressful experience. So this projection of me with resonances on chat is similar to this Hockey Experience, where I see me on chat and experience myself to “have lost it” meaning just can’t get a grasp on anything, and experiencing me as not having a handle on the information and also see the point of “letting them down” when there is that moment where they realize that “I am out of my league” Ok this phrase is specific here this being “out of my league” as this definitely bring up the point of inferiority and just not being good enough. Ok so the point coming through here is “Not being good enough” though I will explore now some other aspects of my reaction to this point of now the point being open of “going back to do 6 months of mind constructs” I am seeing myself as unworthy in Muscle Communication, and thus also in process, as the point with MC simply indicate that I am “missing some points” and that this will cause me to “fall back” into my “rightful place” – So here again the point of inferiority. What is interesting also is wanting to be up with the advanced group, wanting to be in the “in crowd” wanting to be ahead of the game and leading, but specifically this point of wanting to in the “in crowd” Its like the point of starting out with a group of people and then you all walk together, and as you walk the “group separates” and starts to split up based on skill and potential and ability, and I end up “falling back” based on my skill and get separated from “my friends” I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reaction with regards to the new SRA course structure. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “not know” what I should do. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “exist within a state of doubt and uncertainty” by allowing myself to exist within a point of “not knowing” I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I really “do not know” I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and define myself according to where I am in my SRA course, and within doing this “make decisions” based on strengthening my personality which I have created as “who I am within how I have defined me within my SRA course” instead of making a decision that is based on actual practical self support and doing what is best for all. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going back and doing 6 month of Mind Constructs, as I fear getting stuck behind. I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as superior to others who are further back in SRA. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “lock into” my personality, instead of stopping all personality and ego, and remaining here as breath as Self Support. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught up in personalities within supporting me and in doing this “forget about me” altogether and never actually get to a place of me as the starting point of my direction within self support. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “lock into” a point of fear with regards to me not being prepared for the next Resonance section of SRA. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based my decisions, and make my decisions from a point of energy and reaction, instead of from a point of self honesty and self support where I allocate myself within the equation and simply look at the common sense of the point and what would be most effective as a point of support. It is not about “who your friends are” I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to determine and define my application in relation to “whos around me” which is indicating that I am not yet standing equal to each and every one in process and more specifically I am not yet standing as the starting point of my world where it does not matter where I am, but that I am constant, consistent, the same in my application in each and every point that I stand. Thus I see this point of me being the starting point of myself within process, within my application, and within self support, where it does not matter where I am, and who I am with, as I support me the same where ever I am and not longer accept and allow me to limit me within my self support from the perspective of believing that I must be in “advanced groups” to have effective self support but rather it does not matter where I am within what group or what level, I decide that I am the director of me and that I support me effectively and do not accept me to limit my potential self support, and thus from this perspective I am always the source of how effective I am within process, not who is around me or supporting me. This is actually a cool point that is emerging and that has been coming up over the last few days, where I am starting to see the point of not limiting myself in “what I am capable in” meaning “I take the reins” so to speak, and start pushing myself to support myself and expand my application, and ways I support me. And push me to become more specific in how I support me, and as well in my writing. No one is going to walk process for us. We must walk process, and we are the ones that determine “the pace” we move, though I do not see it as a point of rushing, but rather a point of inevitability where one will decide to be more effective within application, and that “this decision” can be done now or later. Ok slowing down a bit here, I really “rattled through” that mid section. Ok so I did react to this SRA point. I was even discussing this point with Marlen on Chat and experienced my writing to immediately tense up, as I tensed up inside and became more ridged which I identified as a point of “Mind” as I started to explain and talk about the SRA Re-structuring. And how I “did not know what I would do” I want to simply continue on as is. Particularly because now I have just started into doing more MC and see this as a point which I would simply like to direct. I have struggled with this point of MC and so am finding within the new lessons that because there is much MC going on that it is a cool platform for me to actually stabilize the point. And so from this perspective would like to continue moving with the lessons where I am now. On the other hand, 6 months of Mind Constructs would be fucking awesome, though I see that I would still not be directing this point of MC which is “the point” so to speak, which I would like to direct, and am in the process of doing so.

Support Point for Not Knowing What to Write – Unconditional Self Forgiveness

Posted on January 16, 2011 by admin

Support Point for Not Knowing What to Write – Unconditional Self Forgiveness Ok going to give some notes Here – This was over a year ago and I think I was back in Canada from the farm or maybe about to go there for the first time. I was participating on the forums and writing Self Forgiveness and writing and basically what we are all still doing now. Anyways I noticed for about a period of a week or two Cerise started to post SF on her thread on the forum. She did not post a whole lot, though for this period she starting posting SF. Now what was cool about this SF that I observed is that it had “no structure” so to speak. Meaning from what I saw it looked like she just basically made a point to write “Unconditional Self Forgiveness” Its like letting go of all the self judgement and worry of how things are supposed to be and just fucking writing self forgiveness. So was a very cool supportive point for me at the time. I immediately took that point on myself and have been utilizing this ever since and have found it to “come in handy” as a practical support method to support oneself when they are not sure what to write or how to do it. I have found when I am ‘stuck’ I allow myself to write unconditional SF, where I just start writing it as a point of realizing OK, I feel stuck or am not sure what to do here, and so just “Write Unconditionally” And really let myself write what ever comes up, just start forgiving points, and not worry or judge it, just write anything really that comes up in that moment. Obviously it is cool to develop ways to support self within effectively structuring your SF as well, though at times sometimes one just require to write and to let it out. So it is in times like this that I apply this method of writing unconditional SF. Unconditional Self Forgiveness In the Moment I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “get stuck” in my world. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back writing self forgiveness I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want everything to be perfect without allowing myself to walk the necessary steps of Living perfection into existence. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as being ineffective within my process within my ability to structure my writing and vlogging and basically information processing. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I do not effectively understand the new desteni lessons for SRA I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and worry and fear in the hidden corners of myself where I suppress this experience of self as it takes place hidden under much stuff so do not even realize it is happening. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop directing myself witin a structured directed way within using the excuse that I am tired. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there must always be something going on, instead of allowing myself to just be here and breathe when things slow down. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to base my application of the “results I get” instead of establishing a more consistent application of self where I am HERE in every moment within self specificity in every moment where in I am HERE with and as self. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not doing any SRA today. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking about “what I am doing” out of fear it will not happen. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the nature of me to simply remain as it is and not actually take on any points or take on the nature of me in fact where I actually take apart the nature of me and change myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within sexuality from the perspective of participating within the point of sexual energy. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify accessing sexual energy. I forgive myself for not allowing myself to just stand here as self as breath when the moments come up where I see a point of “sexual energy” which is triggered which I can participate in. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must or have to for some reason continue participating within this kind of energy, instead of standing firmly on this point of Not accepting and allowing myself to participate within this point of sexual energy in any way shape or form from the perspective of me actually now taking this point on at its core root where In I am taking on this point as a manifested point as the nature of myself, and in order to actually “take the point out” I must take it on absolute, taking into consideration all parts of this system manifestation of self and Stop my participating within sexual energy. Thus when I encounter a moment where a sexual energetic point moves within me, I realize exactly what it is and I stop. I do not go there, as I see to “go there” is in fact a deliberate act. I stop, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to this energy that stirs within me, and I allow me to release the point, and to release the desire to participate with this energy. If I do not stop this point within me, it will never stop by itself but always reoccur and exist as me, thus the effectiveness of my stopping and disentangling myself from this point and taking it out is dependent on my application. No one else determine the experience of me in process but me. No one else determine what I can see and what I can not but me. If I do not push self specificity of self, no one will. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate the point of self specificity to others, where in I wanted others to support me to become more specific with me instead of realizing that this is ‘impossible’ from a certain perspective and that I am the one who actually determine everything about my application. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from specificity I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away my power and abdicate my power as specificity where in I did not realizing it was/is up to me to determine for myself my experience within this process. I forgive myself for not realizing that it is up to me to determine my own experience, my own standing and my own specificity in process. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my mind in my world instead of me directing myself and there in when I direct me become more specific with me in my world. I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by boredom instead of me determining my direction in every moment. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed energy to direct me which is in fact the patterns of self as the nature of self – It is me as how I have programmed me and to allow that point of ‘energy’ or ‘mind’ or ‘patterns’ to direct me, I will never get specific with self within this process, and I will never change, thus I realize that my effectiveness within this process is in my will to Stop the Mind, and no more accept and allow myself to just exist as a fucking robot who never changes. Yes it will take hard work and me to push through resistance, as I push through the accepted nature and existence as me and re-form me into Life, into a self empowered, self directed point of life expressing itself as life as what is best for all life.

Decisions in Jobs and SRA Experiences /Insights

Posted on January 15, 2011 by admin

I got up early this morning to shovel snow. I enjoyed the experience as there was not a whole lot of snow, so could just move in breath and still be done working at a early hour. The whole process this morning took me 4 hours. I mostly experience me more effective in my day when I wake up to do snow removal and noticed that I have not yet established within me an effective platform/structure to be effective when I “don’t have work” where for instance I would allow distractions instead of directing myself. I have spend some time the last few days finding a name so that I can start doing Logo Designs which I will use the name to operate with. I experienced allot of uncertainty in moving this point, partly because I have tried this point previously (graphic design) but reached a point where I “gave up on it” because it just did not seem to flow. But the point had still remained in the background which was then “opened up” again when I got an e-mail from a person who I had started doing some T-Shirt Designs for. She had not e-mailed for a while so was not sure of the status of everything, but it turns out she like the Logos / Designs I had done and wanted to do more, and so when this happened the point kind of opened up again. I experience like a blackness, which I have described as a black wall in relation to this point. When I mentioned this point it struck me that this means that the point is not programmed in my life and that I actually have to create the point myself, as I experience like a black wall before me when ever I would give direction to this point, where In I had to push to make the thing move. So I am taking this point on again, though from a slightly different angle. I am simplifying everything and just going for Logo Design, instead of trying to start with “offering everything” I think I will have more success this way as I can focus my words more specifically and really just not over complicate things. I have experienced doubt in relation to this point, as it has not moved as quickly as the snow removal point. And because of this doubt creeps in like I am “doing the wrong thing” or something. Though also see point of being patient with me and not expecting this to just instantly work overnight, even though the snow removal point moves right away. I mean perhaps not everything works and functions in exactly the same way so have to consider this point and allow me to be patient here. I mean I could give up on this point right now, and “never know” if it would have worked or not. The same thing was with the Snow Removal. I simply “did not know” if it would work or not. So decided to practically move the point in the physical to see rather than just assume. So what I am finding with this logo point is that it may not be as simple to “set-up” or get moving, but that simply could just mean it will take a little longer to start moving. I called this guy up today that I had planned to meet for a job interview where I was going to start doing furniture assembly for him. I called him to cancel the point and rather use that time to develop the Logo point. I am satisfied with this. I could see that I was unnecessarily taking on too many points at once and could see that I would have to really divide my time up between what I was going to do for him and the snow removal point and in the end decided it would be better if I simply focus on the snow removal point and refine and expand this and get specific here first, instead of doing something else and not giving it the attention it requires to function effectively. Today I was at the bank cashing a cheque and the cashier asked me if I did snow removal as my business, I was afraid to tell the truth because I did not know “what kind of power she had” so I said I was not really doing it as a business. I did not want her to “shut me down” or find out that I need some papers that I don’t have. I do not require a licence to run the snow removal though I am pretty sure I need a permit. Though did not have enough money initially to get one. Basically I look at it like this. The system as lied to me for my entire life, and I attempted to do the right thing and be a good citizen and play by the rules, and the system just fucked me completely. So Now I do not play by the rules. I actually am more willing to lie straight to someone’s face who represents a point in the system that I require to “get through” where before I would have surely told the truth like a good citizen and would have gotten fucked by it. Obviously the point is to get the necessary points so that everything is legit, but I mean the system looks for ways to fuck you at every turn...so basically have realized the double standard ways of the system which eventually will catch up the system when people start realizing and catching onto this. I will do what I have to do to make the points work. I am not longer here to support the system, I am here to do what is necessary to support me within this world and bring forth a new system of equality that actually support its citizens. Oh ya...the bank lady as it turns out was more interested in actually hiring someone to help her with her snow, though I missed that opportunity as I was afraid that I would get caught in running a business without the proper permitting and have to pay money or something. Ok, otherwise my experience of late...I am Ok, but I mean I am always OK. I have been enjoying my SRA experiences of late and how SRA, really push one to become specific with oneself, after all once is communication with their body, and I mean within doing this, your specificity will determine the outcome. So have been exploring Muscle Communication with SRA, and pushing myself “out of arbitrariness” and “into specificity”. I mean I found I experienced myself as “lost” much within doing Muscle Communication, and noticed an interesting thing. I am the only one Here. So then this experience of me being lost, who is responsible but Me. So in seeing this I realized that I must become more specific with myself in SRA and in a way if I do not correct this experience of “feeling lost” or things feeling ‘arbitrary’ in SRA, then they will just remain this way. So have been pushing to become more specific within SRA so I no longer experience the point of, as if I have not footing or starting point or grounding, rather, I am the footing for myself and so take the opportunity with SRA to simply explore Self. Shit I experience so many doubts, uncertainties and turmoil, it really pushing me to question well, how is this possible, meaning how is it possible that I experience this right now, and really shows me that, Ok here is an experience within my life and within my world where I am having this particular experience so look at why. I mean it is a New Experience. So yes there is uncertainty as I establish myself within Muscle Communication and establishing communication with my body. Its like I never actually really considered doing this before, as I am realizing as I move though it that, “oh ok, I am establishing actual communication with my body, Ok so how does one do this...and I simply allow the me to be unconditional in this point. To the best of my ability that is

SRA – “Structural Resonance Alignment” Experiences and Applications

Posted on January 12, 2011 by admin

So today I have been facing the point of family as well as the point of money. The family point is ‘new’ from the perspective of some of my relatives “coming out of the woodwork” to start to comment on some of the videos I share on my facebook page. I thought that eventually I would face this point, and so this is the first time this has come up with my relatives posting on my profile. One cool point is that it pushed me in a way to get specific with myself from the perspective of looking at self from the perspective of “what is it I am actually doing” So Here, like taking ‘Desteni’, and “my participation” and “my life” and really, “much stuff” into consideration in terms of looking at “what exactly is going on” and establish for myself more clarity and resolve within myself in terms of not accepting points of “not knowing exactly what I am doing” do basically, pushing me to really consider ‘things’ to as mentioned establish a stability and resolve of self. I mean it has taken some time for me to realize that I am walking this process. And even within this still experience a point of “dis-belief” that I am doing this. I see this in relation to not yet have established a clear and stable starting point of Self as the starting point, within walking this process. But am still trying to walk a process, instead of simply investigating self in a way. I did some SRA stuff tonight which has been quite cool. I still have to push myself to do this point, as each time there is resistance. I have started to really slow myself down while doing SRA, particularly Muscle Communication. Tonight was cool, one point I have started doing more frequently is “writing about my experience” as I walk through the lessons of doing Muscle Communication, to assist and support me to clear myself of all of the anxieties and uncertainties and doubts I have within doing MC (Muscle Communication) and start to write them out in front of me on paper. So my MC (Muscle Communication) Sessions are not just doing MC but is becoming a process of me slowing myself down, investigating self which is quite cool. I used to experience this point while painting and doing art work, in a way where I would actually “investigate myself” and just explore and write about what I see, and test things out, and really look within myself at the experience of self. And so this “in a way” is what MC has started to emerge as for me. I have had to really stop me and bring myself HERE. As I have found if I am not Here, and aware of self in the moment, then the MC will be useless so to speak, so have been “setting time aside” so to speak, because I know/expect that when I go into a MC session that I am going to allow myself to take my time. So have been taking on this point of writing while doing MC, and supporting me to see the anxieties and to see self and the experience of me in relation to MC as I apply myself within it. So have enjoyed of late the Self investigative aspect of doing MC.

Remaining Silent Caused Harm to Horse – Daily Writing – Nov 5 2010

Posted on November 6, 2010 by admin

Ok, writing out my day Here. An interesting experience happened at work today. This morning as we turned the horses out to their stables I was walking this one horse through this section where there was a cord which the horse and I required to walk over on the way to the stable. I noticed the cord the day before and saw that it was definitely a hazard which would cause problems if a horse where to get tangled in it. It simply was a basic point which was not being directed which create an unsafe environment for the animals. I mean they are quite relaxed on the farm with regards to the care of the horse which is cool in one respect though this also turn into a form a abuse where points within the environment are being neglected. So a point for myself here to see the difference between “being relaxed” and “neglecting ones surroundings” and simply to not accept and allow a merging of the two points where “being relaxed” actually become overlooked for what it is really standing as. Meaning when this turns into a form of neglect must be stopped and not accepted or allowed. Clarity and Specificity are required Here. And are required within this world to actually push ourselves to move towards a more effective human. Anyways I saw this “cord point” but did not fix it as we were busy with other things, as well as the fact that “ I am new” and have no right to say what I think should be done (self defined belief). Now what I mean by this, is I noticed this point coming up within myself quite a bit where because I am simply learning how everything thing works their, that I can simply not assume that things should be this way or that if I do not have the entire picture. But have noticed many points coming up within regards to points within the environment which are simply not being considered from the perspective of actually creating a safe environment for the animals. Yes the animals are smart and are capable of looking out from themselves, however one of these points which I in a way “allowed within the environment under the idea that I am “still new and is better to not suggest or say anything” actually today caused quite a disturbance. As I walked the horse through the area where the cord was, only seconds before I attempted to adjust the cord temporarily so that it would not get hooked up with the horse...as I walked the horse over the cord, sure enough his foot caught the edge of the cord and spooked the horse a bit, then the cord got even more hooked up in the legs of the horse and he totally freaked, and reared up, and then proceeded to drag me around 6 or 8 feet as I simply slid across the gravel on my shoes attempted to stabilize the horse, after a few moments of frantic flailing about the horse settled down, breathing heavily through his nose afterwards he walked with me to his stable and I let him in. This could have been avoided and basically by allowing this cord point I also tacitly allowed and supported this experience that the horse when through, not actually considering the implications that this have on the horse, other possible outflows/consequences of such neglect So this was an interesting point because here was a practical point which I saw in the environment which is “not cool” for the horses, yet I let it slide, I did not take responsibility for the point but rather, allowed the responsibility to be abdicated to “those in charge” like a kind of “this is their stable, who am I to tell them how to go about it” And the result was a completely unnecessary experience which could have actually injured myself or the horse. This event illustrating still How I am simply allowing the current system in place to be the dominant system and am not yet standing up as an authority and taking responsibility for what is here. So here I see that I am still holding back in actually expressing points and taking responsibility for points which I see, and simply standing by the fact that it is not acceptable anymore within this reality to allow such points. Abuse has become so accepted in our world that we do not even realize anymore that we are abusing. And so I see this point as well, where its not a matter of who is right or wrong, and I to judge is unacceptable from the perspective of seeing many points that must be directed – I mean a few years ago I would not have even noticed and actually this kind of consideration had to be pointed out to me also, so understand how these points can simply not be seen as “important” by beings in this world. So a re-education process is required. So the environment is quite cool actually to be able to express myself within practically directing myself to create a safe, stable environment for the Animals. But just wanted to write about that one point which occurred today. So I have had many of these experiences so far of really at this point, allowing myself to be shown how they do things, even if it is not necessarily how I would do it from the perspective of ensuring the point is directed absolute, but I will compromise myself within these moments and “let it slide” because that’s what they do, and I mean who am I to change things. This is exactly the point I was writing about a few posts ago about accepting and status quo and just going with what is the established way of doing things, and in a way being to afraid to actually challenge the status quo out of fear of causing friction. I mean overall the place is pretty cool, it is simply just in some moments there are points not being considered which I can see, so its cool, I simply have the opportunity to bring these points into awareness just the same as they were done for me. But obviously not to wait on this because today’s experience with the horse showed me that these points that I am seeing are in fact valid. So from this perspective “give to another what I would want to receive” And explore the point of equality and how I can bring this point to the table so to speak in way which is not being considered. It will be a long process because fuck, these horses are in small little pens with no grass, some are in nice big field but also some small pens I wouldn’t want to live in those pens. Pretty Cool though to see how an equal money system will actually free the animals so to speak, where the conditions where animals lived will no longer be based on making money so will not have to be subjected to these bull shit conditions of enslavement imposed upon them from an ignorant inconsiderate humanity, that see animals as for there own personal gains, not as equals to be treated as such and be free in the exact same way as humans. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to this system of abuse that is currently here have president and authority simply because it is here. I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to actually stand up for life and what is best for all and actually start to walk this process within my immediate environment. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support this current system of abuse and self interest instead of what is best for all. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up and saying something out of fear of friction. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I will be met with resistance and not then know what to say. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back in speaking out of fear of being yelled at or argued with where in my point will not be herd and I will end up feeling embarrassed. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to be my god, my authority, and that which I use to direct the choices and decisions I make and words I speak and do not speak. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to simply merge into what is here as this current system instead of actually standing up and not more accepting and allowing myself to “go along with it” because I do not want to “disrupt or upset” someones world. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider other peoples worlds from the perspective of not wanting to cause ripples in other peoples perfect worlds, even if those worlds are not what is best for all. And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support self interest instead of what is best for all. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply go along with this world, out of fear of setting off other peoples egos.

Fear to Move Out Of Sub-Par Existence – October 29th/2010

Posted on October 30, 2010 by admin

A point that I have observed in myself which has come up in relation to my job, is the point of accepting my own limitation by not pushing myself while I am around others, because I don’t want to trigger the point of jealousy in the other, and so instead I dum myself down, and essentially limit myself, and actually simply allow those around me to dictate how I live my life. I noticed this come up at work with regards to points around workplace that I see can be “fixed-up” and organized but have noticed I hold myself back from pointing these things, out or really taking these points on because I get the sense that it is “out of” the accepted way of doing things, and I realized that I actually compromised myself and am compromising myself through not actually realizing that it is OK to to actually push myself and push others to become more specific and more directive in their worlds, and actually push myself here also to become more specific and directive in my world. Its like in this one particular moment, I held back in directing myself to immediately take on a point that I saw because I didn’t want to be seen as doing something out of the accepted way of doing things. Specifically I did not want to “diminish” the other being in my presence. Its the point of jealousy, I noticed in a few instances, I held back actually fucking directing myself and directing a point because I do not want to trigger that point of jealousy reaction in other, where in they go into a form of reaction out of jealousy with regards to how I direct or apply myself. Fuck, what I realized in this moment was that I am actually accepting and allowing myself to limit myself. And realized that this is/was actually how we ended up in this mess. Because we did not want to cause any friction. We did not want to stand up and act in a way that actually pushed people a little bit. Its like I did not want them to say “don’t do that” and then come up with some excuse or reason why I “should not do that” or how “thats not the way things are done here” . And what I see is that if I accept and allow this, I am actually accepting and allowing “this current system, and this current world” to dominate me. In other words, I am tacitly stating that I am actually in support of this current system, because I simply just allow it to have precedent over that which I have developed within myself as for example self will, and self determination. I seen within this how so many squander within this world. Because Sub-Par is the accepted way things are. Everybody fights for Sub-Par. Even those that are effective fight for Sub-Par because this way they seem superior and dominant. And I realized how in that moment, the “sub-par” remain the standard in this world. Because so many, as I did in that moment, accepted the “sub-par” as the dominating factor, and was unwilling stand in that moment, and actually stand-up and push and challenge myself, and within this actually push and challenge others as well. In a way its easier to live in an unnoticed way Its easier to never push to hard, as to not make people feel like there not doing enough. Its like the point of supporting laziness. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear pushing myself as this might cause others to resist me and have friction towards me, and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my fear of other people influence me to not stand up and do anything about this world. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself within that which I have developed within myself as my application and discipline within walking, living, and applying myself in this world because I don’t want to make people feel bad, and react towards me for feeling bad. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people being jealous of me, because within this they may not enjoy me being around, because I push and move them out of there comfort bubble. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as an observer in this world, never actually pushing myself to stand up within this world because in doing this it would cause to much friction in other peoples worlds, and there-in, I simply accept the sub-par as how things are, and be sure to remain under or on this line of “sub – par” as to not cause any reaction in another where they might observe within themselves something that requires a correction, and in this may become fearful or not wanting to give up who they are, and thus , lash out on me. I forgive myself for not allowing myself to push myself in the work place to be absolutely effective within my direction and actually look at the point from the perspective of a permanent solution. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply just do the bare minimum, instead of pushing and willing myself here to become effective within my application, in particular my practical application. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back within expressing myself within absolute clarity in communication as to not upset someone, and within this not fully honouring myself within creating my world the way I want, where I push myself and my world to the utmost specificity, because I see that this is a point I would like for myself, and thus allow me to give to myself as I see the ‘benefit’ this have on a being

Andrew Gable's Process

Discovering Self Honesty One Step at a Time

Tag Archives: writing self to freedom