So today I started again with looking for and applying for jobs from the perspective of generating sufficient money to support me in my world, and stop existing on the ‘fringe’ of society by always making ‘just enough’ to get by and pay my rent and basic bills and food. Never getting ahead, not really falling behind, just completely at a stand still in the system. Thus the point for me at the moment is to actually start moving, and generating money to support me in this reality and support the emergence of an equal money system, which is even more of a ‘daunting task’ than just supporting me. So today I started moving this point again, by searching through job listings and also bidding on graphic design and illustration jobs online. I have the “doing snow removal” point in place so will be busy with this until the winter ends, though in the meantime am exploring various possibilities as I am not really just looking for a job in this system in this world to “occupy me” but rather looking for and investigating what I can do to actually place myself eventually within a position to support an equal money system. I have a degree in Fine Arts, but have not yet seen this point being able to work yet in terms of actually supporting me substantially enough to place myself in the system to actually have influence. Though also see the point here of this being due to me not really effectively pushing and compounding this point through deliberate actions, but in a way “giving up quickly” when the point does not move. This has been quite frustrating as for some time now have been “on the fence” with this point of not knowing whether to “do it” or “not do it”, and because of this have in a way disarmed myself by essentially not standing within a consistent application to see if in fact the point will work or not, in a way , seem to give up on this point very quickly. This is why I started moving into the point of graphic design and illustration, and in a way am starting with moving my artistic skills to the “digital world” as I may be able to generate more money within doing this. Though I am only starting with this now so the point slow to move, and I see I experience still much doubt within the belief that comes up that “ everything I do with regards to art simply does not/will not move” So I came across this one add today which I am thinking about applying for as a “Art Gallery Assistant” with one of the commercial galleries here in town. I mean technically my degree supports this point though have no desire to actually participate within the “art world”, though perhaps I could get some experience with selling art and dealing with people with lots of money who pay allot of money for art, So from this perspective this could possibly assist my current skills set with regards to art and sales in general. Though most likely will be doing basic stuff like hang shows and framing art and things like this. I will have to see when I go down and ask about the job. Though at the moment my experience of myself in relation to work and “the future” is more like ‘open’ where nothing is definitive, or certain and am in a way feel like I am just starting out. I would like to go back for more education at some point though this will require me to probably first pay back my student loan which I have not been able to actually “pay down” since I graduated from college 6 years ago. Up until now I have only been making the interest payments. So in terms of my placement in the system – I am a perfect slave – or am supposed to be a perfect slave anyways, though if I look at the point . So just wanted to write about this point of being still busy with finding work and exploring different ways to make money in this world, as I must now come up with nearly twice my usual amount as the insurance on my vehicle will run out in February and so must get money to renew this, so in a way its cool because it will push me to move my ass to actually prove to myself that I am able to make this much money in a month through simply applying myself diligently and specifically in practical application with regards to generating money.