Tag Archives: life

Steven Hawking : Heaven is a Fairy Story? – The Debate is Over as Desteni and Equal Money Create Heaven on Earth!

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There seem to be some reaction to recent comments made by famous physicist Steven Hawking who in an interview with “The Gaurdian” stated that Heaven is a “Fairy Story” for those who are afraid of death. This point of Heaven is quite interesting given our current situation and what is HERE all around us in this world. I guess what is here as Earth would not be considered a Heaven? I wonder what those who do not believe in Heaven would define as our world? Because in arguing a heaven does not exist, they are still arguing about “Heaven” where in they must understand the concept of heaven to be arguing about its non-existence, so in a way those that argue that heaven does not exist are actually confirming that they do in fact believe in heaven from the perspective that they are in essence holding that same “idea” as the “heaven believers” which they are arguing against, so from my perspective, actually believing in heaven, because heaven in itself at the moment is simply an idea, a concept. Because if you look around, this earth is definitely not heaven. Or is it? I guess it depends on, what exactly, heaven is to you. Its seems there are various definitions of Heaven. In fact, it seems that depending on what religion you believe in, or family structure you were raised within, or culture, or kind of music you listen to etc, would determine what kind of Heaven you would believe in. From my perspective, Heaven is HERE. We have just really fucked it up. What Desteni is presenting is that Heaven is possible, though it is up to us to create it for ourselves. So to for instance develop ourselves so that our interaction with each other, and nature and this planet can stand as actions that would exist in and as a heavenly heaven. Thus it is to stop all Hope, all dreaming, all believing, and to start Practically Moving and creating Heaven on Earth. I mean, what do we have to lose really? Our reality is already quite fucked up with pretty much everything that constitutes a Hell actually. War, murder, mass poverty and starvation, alcohol and drug abuse, depression, slave labor, horrendous animal abuse, the toxification and destruction of earth itself. So really nothing to lose if we were to actually in fact change how we live in this world. Change our behavior, how we interact with what is here. An absolute overhaul actually of how we live. We cannot go living the same way and doing the same things every day and expect our world to change. The world is essentially an outflow of our participation and movement, and thus we must change our participation in order to create a world that is dignified and best for ALL. So suggest to join us at desteni as we as a group are those individuals who rather than sit back and debate whether a heaven exist or not, are actually standing up and taking practical action to thus create heaven on earth for ourselves. Why Wait? Thus investigate what we are proposing at Desteni as an Equal Money System as one of the initial phases of bringing about heaven on earth as that which is dignified and best for all. The Equal Money System is a New Money System designed to replace the current money system that obviously thus far has created anything but heaven on earth. I mean look within your own world. There are moments when one in fact decide to change. Where you exist within a certain behavior pattern that actually just make your life miserable to the point where you decide – Fuck, I need to change. So why not do this with the entire planet. We have existed within destructive behaviors towards the earth for long enough. Thus, it is time to stop this. Thus the Equal Money System will be quite a change for this planet and not a moment to soon. Another fascinating process underway which anyone can participate within is the “Desten I Process” The "Desteni I Process" is a way for those who are willing to stand up and say “NO MORE” and actually start to direct themselves to change and create themselves as beings that are not any more products of our current/old system of abuse and suffering, but who are willing to stand as something new. As a New Humanity that no more accept and allow such abuse and suffering that is allowed now, and who effectively will become those who are able to stand in a Heaven on Earth. This means that the beings themselves must actually in fact have a deep respect for earth and each other and life, as if there is anything less than this, than this would not actually be heaven now would it. Thus to actually in fact create heaven on earth, we must in essence transform ourselves, and re-educate ourselves, and purify ourselves, and this is what the Desteni I Process is for. Where one get monthly lessons designed to support a being in the process of self change and self transformation...essentially self creation where one in a way stand as a God from the perspective of actually creating themselves and supporting the creation of a practical heaven on earth. So let’s stop debating about Heaven and Start Creating it Here on Earth, Starting with an Equal Money System and the“Desteni I Process”

Keep it Simple Keep it Stable

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So a point opened up within me just now in reading a post. It is simply being accountable for myself in each and every moment and every circumstance and not accepting and allowing myself to “let my guard down” which is basically me going into my mind. And just letting my world fall to shit in no time at all. This has been a ‘problem’ with me I notice in my application. This absolute point of consistency and constancy. I have noticed that I am sort of consistent and kind of constant sometimes which really just shows that this point is not yet in place. Particularly since getting back to Canada I have faced this point quite a bit in getting my world sorted out, and getting a job, and just the basic practical points of “my life” I see that I tend to go into a kind of submission to the world, and to the system, and just not wanting to do anything, and I allow myself to go into this energy and then I stop being consistent and my world starts to fall apart. Then I pick myself up again and get back to business and am stable for a while but then eventually again this point creeps up and I give-in to “not wanting to do anything”. I see it more a fear and actually a point of Self Dishonesty and Self-Pity and Manipulation where I allow myself to go into “things are just too hard” and I always fall on this point of Directing my world. Which I see if I would actually Fucking Stand-UP in these moments and remain stable constant in my application and also to support myself through these moments using self forgiveness and breath, that I would develop my Self-Strength and effectiveness and would be much more directive and my world would probably “work better” And this is because it is mathematically so, where in I am simply directing more physical points and ensuring the practical points of my reality are moving and directed. The simple shit of basic human living – This is where I “give in” like not wanting to clean your room when it is obviously way to disorganized, not wanting to answer that one e-mail you know you should, not wanting to log online and pay the bills, not wanting to search for jobs online. So it is really the points that make ones world tick, and make ones world move. So I will do this and be able to sustain doing this for a while but eventually I reach that point where I start to strain. And that’s it. That’s the moment where I could make my life a whole lot easier by not making it more difficult. I Don’t actually have to do anything special or profound, but just keep consistently directing the basics of my world and actually remain constant and stable and effective and HERE within doing this so that I do it effective and not just enough to make it go. Keep it simple keep is stable

What I actually See about an Equal Money System.

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How will an Equal Money System Benefit all of Humanity Equally. I am going to investigate here how an equal money system is in fact and will in fact support ALL beings on earth equally and is not one of those systems that is only attempting to “lessen the gap” between the rich and the poor and not actually taking on the point of "in fact" bringing all to an equal position in this world. An equal money system is based on an the principle of equality and what is best for all. And only those involved know within themselves whether or not they are in fact standing as this principle. I know for myself that I Stand as This Principle from this perspective – I see within myself that the common sense direction to take within this world is to bring forth equality for all. As that is fair. And that it is not acceptable for any beings to suffer while others live in wealth and comfort. Glaringly so with regards to the current world situation and how the suffering of many in this world is in a way “out of their hands” like being born into poverty or a situation where they do not have equal support as others and because of this have a more difficult life in this reality. This should not exist. I see within myself that I do not want to deliberately harm another and that in fact I would rather have all beings living a cool life, and that for example it would be cool if for example a starving dog in the world could live as I live, meaning have basic survival aspects of life in place so that they to can exist equal to humans within this world where we no longer control animals as pets but live in equality with them and realize that they are beings and have just as much to ‘offer’ and as we do. I see that I still have allot to learn with regards to how to establish an equal money system and also how to live in this world in a way that is best for all. But I also see within myself that I have no intentions to harm another or abuse or secretly deceive another but that I am in fact interested in bringing forth a world that is fair so that all have the equal opportunity to experience enjoyment within their experience of themselves on this earth. And have equal Support as money and resources which create a stable foundation for each one to live and enjoy themselves on this planet. This is what is being Proposed in the Equal Money System. It is not just some system that will try and fix and mend the current system. Nope. It is a New System We should not be afraid to try new things, and to let go of stuff that is not working but is further fucking up this world. I mean Japan is close to being a ‘Quadrillion’ dollars in debt. All that is talked about today is the increasing debts of the countries. I mean how is it even possible for the entire world to be in debt? And this is the system that we are trying to keep in place? The foundational all encompassing System of the world is capitalism and profit. The entire world play by these rules. I mean a browse through the morning newspaper should be enough to see how our current world system is actually NOT WORKING. The News Paper does not bring the News. It is simply an Outflow of the current money system to ensure the flow of money and to keep the current system in in place. It is filled with advertisements to generate money - Every add in the paper is for money only - There is not one that is unconditionally within the consideration of support life actually. The Equal Money System as being proposed by desteni is the most comprehensive solution that I have found. And its cool because it is not in any way just trying to hold onto or fix the current system. Which is basically what I see with every other ‘proposed solution’ that I have come across. I cannot convince anyone to be a part of the equal money system development and proposal. Though If I had the power to I would “place it” meaning I see no reason not to. I see no risk (I am not willing to face) in doing so, I see no reason to continue hanging onto this current system and am willing to test out other options, Immediately, as it is becoming more and more clear to me that the system we use to govern our world at the moment is just fucking this planet up and people are fucked up within it. Ok its time to try something new. Obviously. So suggest to investigate www.equalmoney.org and also the “desteni I process” at www.desteniiprocess.com As this is the platform through which we will be bringing forth this new direction of man. And support ourselves to really start to investigate ourselves and how to bring forth a practical solution that is equal and best for all. I don’t think its necessary to have to keep animals locked up in cages. I think they would rather live without fences around them. And so an equal money system is a practical placement which will support the bringing forth of a world where all beings have food in their bellies and are full and satisfied, and have shelter and basic support and equal access to education, transportation, etc... actual Equal Human Rights. www.equalmoney.org www.desteniiprocess.com

Process Update – Managing My World. (3 Stories)

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I am definitely within an application of “avoidance” at the moment, and allowing my mind to direct me. This morning I slept in until 7am when I planned to get up at 6am, though within me last night I can see that I “was not up for it” and believing 6am was to early as I was quite exhausted last night. And so I ‘intended’ to get up but overslept my alarm. I experienced guilt immediately upon waking as I started doing a 21 days 6 hours sleep process. So when waking I went into a point of guilt and noticed also that I was “less directive” in my day, as I was in a way, allowing me to remain ‘stuck’ in this energy of guilt and slowness. Like a point of “I have failed” When if I practically look at the situation, I mean it was 7am instead of 6am, practically speaking that will have not “great affect” on my day, and it is more practical to let go of the point and start directing myself in that which I require to do today. I saw that I allowed the point of guilt in a way as an accepted experience of self when I “fail at something” or “fall on a point” – Though the energetic experience I was allowing was not related practically to my reality but more on past experiences of guilt as what I noticed is that my day is Still Here in front of me, and so pointless to allow me to exist in this point of guilt, like making a big point of nothing really. Its interesting I see that I within this point have allowed this very initial starting point of the waking up in the morning determine the rest of my day, instead of me being the starting point of me in every moment here, where in any given moment, I can correct self, instead of locking myself into a cycle where I have to wait for the next opportunity. I remember on the farm I was faced a few times with the point of experiencing a point of depression, and that I could allow myself to exist within this point of depression, and regret, or I could Stop, and get up off my ass and apply myself within my world. This is the point that I saw this morning, where I realized that I do not have to exist within this point of guilt or depression which was “triggered by sleeping in” Fuck that, I can Stop, and correct myself and start applying myself in my day. Last night I met with an x-girlfriend of mine who I had been in a relationship with for 8 years and who I broke up with around the time I started with desteni. So was interesting to sit and chat last night as I had not spoken with her for couple years now. I noticed that I within the discussion I experience quite a bit of paint in my upper shoulders, back and neck as we communicated, so see a point of straining myself and clenching myself within during our communication last night where I was accessing points of mind within our interaction and within communicating. So interesting to see this tension and pain come up immediately within starting to communicate with this being. Its like a point of “really wanting to get a message though” within which I tense up my entire back and shoulders. And even a point of not trusting my expression, communication, words to communicate effectively. Like wanting her to agree with me and see and understand my words and affirm what it is I am speaking about. Though overall the conversation/discussion was quite cool. Another point that occurred yesterday was that the point of doing “furniture assembly and delivery” for the furniture shop I am currently working with opened up. This is quite a cool point and can see there is some excitement within me towards this though , I am also experiencing a “straining” within this excitement I experience, like “what if things don’t work out” so it is like two adverse points manifesting a strain within me. So basically yesterday within discussion of possibly expanding my duties at the furniture shop, I inquired if “they have a delivery service” because I had noticed that there are usually a few items in the back waiting to be picked up by customers and most often these items are smallish – and so wondered if “there was a market for this” in where why not I “Offer the service of doing the delivery” as I at the moment have a van and so can fit in some smaller items for delivery. So I discussed the point some with the owner and she said she would pass along my number to clients, and also recommend me to clients who require small furniture delivery. So this is quite exciting because I see here another opportunity of taking this point on as a business, of which I can do furniture delivery and assembly. So I have done some research today on the point and this seems very realistic so am going to take this point on, as I also see that this will not simply “end after winter” like the “Snow Removal Service” but can actually walk this point and develop this point for a longer period of time. So now I am at the stage where, I see this point and am exceeded, yet must breathe as reality only move so fast and thus must take this point on “practically” and “common sensically” and like the “Snow Removal Business” There are points of uncertainty with regards to money, and how/if I will manage the point of getting this going. I also got a call yesterday which I have not yet returned about, would ya know it, doing “furniture assembly” lol – I actually had found a job application online doing this and inquired about the point which funny enough, opened up inside of me the point of inquiring with my current company about offering my services through them. Lol, So this is quite funny as this is similar to what happened with the snow removal service where I initially “began the point” by browsing through jobs, and going for a job interview, and then within looking at the whole point deciding to simply “do the point for myself” instead of “working for others” doing something I can actually do on my own. So I am sure I will update later to indicate/show, what’s working, and what not, and the type of specificity and application required to ensuring that these “businesses or service offers” are practically functional. Though for now will keep it simply and keep it physical.

Responsibility and Obligation coming through in DREAMS about Quiting my Job.

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I am going to write about a dream I had last night. I haven’t yet been ‘through’ this dream in detail, so will see what comes up here. This is in relation to my experience over the last two months with regards to the job I held at a “Horse Ranch” which I simply could no longer support from the perspective of the “point of abuse” I experienced in relation to my position or role in the system they had going there to keep everything moving as well as how “I was being considered” from the perspective of “what I was responsible for and how much money I was being paid to do it” So I decided to no more continue with the job and go back to finding myself another job. I sent an e-mail last Monday making it clear on my position and that I would no longer be continuing work there. Though last night at about 8:00pm I received an e-mail asking me to work the next day. I was not pleased as I had already let this point go, and this e-mail showed either a continuation of the manipulation I observed going on before, or that they simply never received the e-mail. I at first felt ‘obligated’ to work the next day as if I am the one who was responsible for the situation and that I must work, as it is my responsibility to see that all communication is clear, understood, and clarified which it obviously was not as something was missed. I e-mailed explaining that I had already sent an e-mail, I then re-explained my position and asked them to confirm that they did indeed receive this mail by sending me a return mail. I received nothing and by that time it was already around midnight so did not want to phone. So I looked at the point and decided that I would not go. Though I felt extremely guilty, I decided that in this case it is there responsibility as well to ensure their system is running, where in fact here they were not specific within communication waiting until the very last minute to contact me, and thus I help my initial point of deciding to no more support “the system I found myself in while working there” I wondered if I was even going to able to sleep because of the experience I was having inside my self of the obligation I felt to work for them to no leave me hanging, though not considering my own standing on the point and not allowing guilt to influence the decision. The next morning I after I woke up which I deliberately slept in so that I would not have to face the point if I were to wake-up early, so I slept in, as well the night before watching movies as an attempt to distract myself from this situation. Seeing now the importance of ensuring ones communication is always clear, direct and received, otherwise if one leave points hanging one end up in experiences like the one I experience last night, as well as which come through in my dreams as I slept. The Dreams as follows. There were three scenarios. Each one the same from the perspective of “morning arriving” and me showing up ‘late’ to the farm to see if someone had “taken responsibility” for where I saw myself as having “left them hanging” so experienced much guilt. In each of the scenarios I was actually living on the farm, so basically was right there and able to work, though in real life, it is an hour drive out to the farm, and at the moment my vehicle has a spare so did not want to minimize the driving. So in the dream I approached the barn, and began to peer my head around the corner to see if anyone was in the barn, I experienced allot of nervousness. In the first dream there was someone sweeping the barn. So they had found someone to give direction to the point, I experienced a sense of relieve. It was a women/girl and I walked into Barn I bit hesitant that I would be “looked down upon” or “get in trouble” or “seen as irresponsible” as I approached the girl she had no reaction what so ever. And was actually quite friendly. She actually was a bit new at the job so I offered to assist now that I was there in. So we both worked together to direct the animals and duties and I experienced a point of flow, no friction or animosity or resentment. The second dream was the same in how it started, and it was a girl there tending to the duties that i had perceived myself to have “left hanging” and now had to face. Only this time it was the girl that usually works there, I said hello, and she said hello as she was sweeping the floor then suddenly you could hear anger and resentment coming through in her voice as she began to attack me. This was actually the reaction that I feared inside myself upon approaching. And this is one of the points that in real life I observed within this girl, this point of anger, resentment sitting there below the surface waiting get out, waiting for someone to take it out on, and obviously was in by continuing to work there setting myself up to be that person. A point at which her father was already utilizing within communication with me, showing absolute enslavement to his own inner frustrations, blame, and anger, and taking them out on me because “I worked there” Within this entire experience a point that is now coming through is that I must trust myself in these things I see “under the surface” and not simply ignore them. Also in the dream there was the other guy, Ricardo who worked on the farm and he came walking around the corner and I felt guilty. He represents that point of Responsibility, and always “doing the right thing” So I did not want to look him in the eye because in a way by me not showing up meant that he would have to take up the extra slack, and that he was already overworked. So it was quite a dream / experience. I was ‘startled’ in the morning of how I received an e-mail of no more than two sentences basically saying “ok, sorry I missed your e-mail, good luck in the future” something along those lines, which the event in itself lasted all of 30 seconds and that was it. There was not some “big explosion reaction consequence” that I was expecting or feared to have happen. So seeing here how I completely went into the mind on this point specifically linked here into the point of “Obligation” and “Responsibility” being the two primary points I am seeing that I am looking at here. Other than that, I sent out two Job applications today One to a Dog Walking Company And One two a “water filtration company” looking for a part-time graphic designer. In terms of the Dog Walking, well for both of these jobs for that matter, I am going to take my time. Meaning not simply jump at anything that comes up, but get to know the people individuals I will be working with and ensure that I can actually walk the established time frames with these beings. And not ignore any “red flags” that come up. Like for example a company offering Dog “obedience” – I mean what the fuck – lol but also “walk the point” meaning actually discuss these points with the company to see if my ‘perceptions’ remain or if they were actually just points I created in my mind without any real reference point. Though I mean at the desteni farm and from my perspective you create an environment for your animal so that they can simply live here in support on this earth as well. Its not about making a Dog Obedient, as your slave, thats fucked up Ego Shit. I mean calling your Dog is straight forward, and developing communication with your Dog cool, but anyways that word ‘obedience’ triggers a “master/slave” point inside of me. Otherwise, I am still here. In my world, and am busy looking for work and jobs to earn money for myself. And actually start generating money so I can actually move in this world, instead of always making just enough so that I can survive and break even every month.

Finding a Job in this World – Resistances in Relation to Job/People – Oct 24/2010

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Finding a in this World - Resistances in Relation to Job/People - Oct 24/2010 Went to work again today at the horse Ranch. Really enjoyed working with and being around the animals there. I also enjoy the this particular point with the guy who I am working with who actually is getting me to do everything, and really throwing me in the deep end. This is how I like to take things on. Though in a way he is still there as a stabilizing trust point as I walk through the procedures. Like today one of the tricky tasks is leading two horses into the stable at once, where one has to lead them through this single door way and into their stables. And so today as I did this, I arrive at the door to find that it has been deliberately closed so that I can “practice” opening the door myself, while holding two horses. I managed, not to gracefully through I might add. But what I want to look at today particularly is this point I have coming up in relation to the guy I am working with and also towards people and the job in general. I experienced myself as being “closed in” today. I experience this point where I simply “hold myself” within this kind of expression, but find that this is actually a kind of suppression, as I have in a way have taken the role of “one is learning” and so find that in this I don’t actually really express me, but more suppress myself from the perspective of making sure I “do everything right” and also expressing myself within the design of this teacher student construct/scenario where I make sure that within my expression I stay within the point of “being the student” So this is quite a fuck up. A point that I experienced saw today, was the point of my “aversion” towards people, where my experience towards the guy I am working with is like, dead in a way, where I really am just holding and stopping myself from really going into any experiences at all towards this person, or even towards the job itself. Though I allow myself to enjoy the animals. Today at lunch the guy training me, his name is Ricardo, he is from Mexico, asked me if I liked working here, and when he asked he was not making small talk, he wanted a straight answer you could say, which was actually pretty cool because this was actually a point of intimacy as I see it, so cool to see this being able to “go there” In any case, I was afraid to give my real answer. Why, because from a certain perspective, I assume that “it won’t be understood” but might be ‘interpreted’ in a certain kind of way. I mean, I don’t feel like I can really say, that I experience myself “holding myself together” Ok, but got off point here. The question that came up today was in relation to the resistance/experience  I was having. Where I just “wondered” in a way, what the fuck was really going on here. What is this actual resistance I am experiencing? I don’t feel like I am able to express myself within this context and workplace – now this is quite odd, because it is a quite ‘normal’ workplace so to speak, not unlike you would find anywhere else within this world, So the point I see within this is that I actually am just uncomfortable around people, and the resistance I experience towards people, has nothing to do with what I apparently perceive them to be doing, but rather is actually points that I have created within my self in how I have established myself in relation to other beings in my world. Like from the perspective of, if I don’t get close to beings, then I won’t face those points of resistance. Its like I experienced myself today, walking around, and no matter what I said, or did, or agreed with, there was this frequency of detestment, or resentment, or kind of like a bitterness towards particularly this being that was training me. Like a general aversion to the being. I experience this “off-ness” while I am there, like Ok there are some elements that are cool – but what the fuck is this “off-ness” that sits within every frequency of my being, like a disharmonic cord that resonate in every point and every expression of myself while I am there. Even when I am apparently ‘comfortable’ I still experience this disharmonic resonance at the “bottom” of it all. Fascinatingly enough, similar to the point I experience in the agreement I had on the desteni farm. Like a point that is just fucking off, and it is like this tiny point, but yet, there it is, permeating through the entire expression of the point. So I am going to continue walking here within this point and see whats up. I in a way look at this point as being related to “future projections” where I have created expectations and beliefs about how everything is supposed to work out and what is expected of me, and within this – a point of resistance emerge. Where I see myself as expected to do this and do that and do this and do that, and then from within this ‘aversion’ emerge inside me, within this expectation I have created of what is expected of me, which I don’t see myself actually fulfilling. Like I want one thing And they want another And these points don’t align And as such the point will not work So I cannot pretend it will or hope it will But I am going to walk more within this point because I simply want to see what the fuck is going on here, and see if I can push through some of these resistances which I see as not valid from the perspective of they are resistances and reactions, and that any resistance or reaction is not valid.    

Daily Writing – Oct 14 – Where is My Stablity

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Where is my Stability. Over the last week I have experienced myself as anything but stable. Existing in fears, worries, concerns, judgements, self judgements, wonder, speculating, projecting, wanting, desiring, hoping, helpless, scattered, basically, I was just not stable. It was as if I was not able to “ground myself” and end up getting carried away in what ever it was I was doing. The Solution which comes up in relation to this point is Breath. Breathing and focusing on Breath as a stability point to support me in coming back to earth. I experienced myself at times as if I was slipping, and or scurrying to keep up with those that were ahead of me up on the mountain top, and I simply was sliding way down the mountain side frantically attempting to get a grip somewhere and grasp onto something to be able to just keep up. I found that I simply was unable to calm myself down, to keep myself stable and would end up going into these energetic experiences as well as experiences as if I was speaking about specific things and even though the words were coming out of me it was as if they weren’t grounded in anything. Like I simply could not get to the bottom of myself. A point of Stopping. So why is it that I have not yet been able to establish a foundation for myself and an application of self that will actually stand stable no matter what happens in my world, so that I do not get carried away. It would be a cool point to do an SRA session on this point to look at the priority point of fear which is causing or the core point at the moment as to why I have been not able to earth myself or ground myself here in every moment where in I am silent with myself. There was much going on within my mind with regards to work and how things were/are going to unfold. Though the point I am looking at here in this moment is establishing myself as Here, so that no matter what happen, no matter what occur I am Here, I am stable, I am Here as myself and can simply direct myself in common sense, instead of getting caught up in knowledge and information, and fear, and thoughts and pictures etc. So I am going to explore this point of breath, and of simplicity. Because I see that I really require to find a stability point within myself, one where I do not go into comparison, into wants, into needs, etc, a point which will support me in earthing myself and remaining here as Breath. I was reading Viktors blog and he mentioned a point about the earth “not having a judgement about a particular decision that one make” the earth is simply here. And also in discussions with Marlen where she was mentioning the point about establishing oneself in the moment, in each and every moment, where ones application is here in the moment. What I see within what she was saying was that the solution so to speak, is always here, is always available, and that that solution, that stability, and ability for one to remain here in common sense clarity of self in simplicity is Here where one focus on what is here in the moment and not go into projections as such and that who one is is their starting point in every moment, so to simply look at this, and trust oneself within this. I mean I have watched countless videos and heard many times the point of ones ‘power’ being in ones breath, in the moment. I mean I noticed that I attempt to create systems and structures to attempt to stabilize myself and have not yet gotten to the point of actually establishing myself within the breath as an actual real support point where I can actually stand stable. I was forced into a kind of silence today. I simply crashed. After I woke up I had a headache and so decided to sleep it off, after 3 hours of sleep, I woke up and proceeded to work, but the headache was still there, so Laid back down, it was quite uncomfortable, after another hour or two I got up and the headache had released, I was grateful and experienced myself simply within a silence, I had in a way just stopped. Just gave-up on trying to “get everything done” So that was cool to experience myself as silent and stable for a moment where I had stopped. A cool reference point. So the question that came up was, How do I remain here in and as this silence, where I am actually here and present in that which I am doing, and not caught up in my mind where in I am really only half here, and simply am unable to slow myself down to a silence to actually be effective with what I am doing and how I am applying myself. I mean I was ready to carry on, to just keep trying to plough ahead, and not realizing to the extent that I was completely lost in an energetic experience of a kind of frantic, survival application and just not able to slow myself down. I see this point being related to money. Where a fear emerge within me and take me over and direct me, even so that I am not able to anymore make a practical decision. Its like I just lock myself into this fear, it is quite extensive. So simply forgive myself for the point. I am here now so I can start again. I also experienced allot of comparison towards others, and judgements towards myself like I was not doing good enough, so here too also is another kind of survival lock-in mode. So the point here is to stop. So I am grateful for the headache from the perspective that it ‘forced’ to just f-ing stop. My body assisting me here. So now to reconsider why and how it was that I was so easily carried away. It was like a striving and pushing just took me over, there was no real slowing down, but rather day by day a kind of ‘getting lost’ and just attempting to grasp onto some point that is stable. Ok so the Breath, why the Breath, Because the breath is simple. The breath is simplicity, and so there is no attempting to become something or achieve something, or wanting or yearning, or speculation. It is just breath, a physical breathing in and out. There is no right or wrong in breath, there is just breath. Within this point also I see the point of “The Physical” where again, there is no judgement within the physical. It is simply Here, and I am here too as the physical as my physical body, though I have created an idea about myself as “being something” other than this, when if I look from the perspective of the physical, I am equal to it and to all others as the physical as we are all physical bodies here as an extension of the earth and this universe as a physical existence.

Writing Myself to Freedom – Writing Out My Day – Oct 4th 2010

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Writing Myself to Freedom - Writing Out My Day – Oct 4th 2010 I worked today so I decided to get up at 7:30 instead of 8:00 so I had some extra time. I did experience myself as ‘more tired’ but got up and began my day. I arrived at work, which was actually someone’s house whom we were fixing a table that had been delivered there during their home re-modelling. This is actually quite interesting because at the moment I am working “very part time” meaning filling in for a friend who is out of the city, at this “high-end” furniture store, where I go in and put together the furniture to be displayed on the floor. I find this interesting because while in South Africa, I spent allot of time building furniture, so in a way I am actually a good fit for this Job. So see what comes out of it. So Anyways while I was helping with the fixing of this table today, there was this other guy there also who has a business called “furniture Medic” where he has clients around the city and basically he fixes furniture. It was pretty cool to see that this job actually exist, and so when I saw this guy doing this, I saw myself doing that as well, and see that as something that I actually would enjoy doing and would be a way to practically apply myself within the skills that I have. I mean, at the moment I am looking for various job potentials so just placing myself in the shoes of different occupations to see what that would entail and if it is something that I would like to pursue. Basically I saw this Furniture Medic thingy as pretty cool. Though still I am also seeing that something like that would take time and expertise to develop. But I am quite satisfied with this Job thus far. Though it is very temporary perhaps, will see what comes of it. Its also interesting from the perspective of money. Because this is an expensive store so lots of rich people coming in and buying furniture for thousands of dollars. Obviously the value of things is so fucking arbitrary, and not based on equality in any way what so ever. Like some of the stuff in the store is like 1000 dollars for a stool that you could get, in better quality from some farmer for 10 bucks. Its astonishing that we have gotten to the position where we are unable to see the value of things anymore and have bought into the current money system so deeply and are now blind to our actually practical physical reality. Its like everyone just “plays the game” and attempts to “build themselves up” by buying expensive things to “pad their status” or should I say buying expensive ‘couches’ to ‘cushion’ their status. So quite interesting to observe this point, and this money interaction taking place. Its like the point of money for many who come into the store is almost of “no importance” like they have this paper which they have allot of and just want to spend it, and not really considering the context of this world, or where that money actually come from because simply, they have it! I Dressed in black and grey today with nice black shoes so I fit in. So I took care to ‘present myself’ within the system. Black Jeans, Grey sweater, and black shoes, I matched the furniture! While I was at the this woman’s house who was remodelling she had this one massive painting and a few other contemporary pieces as well in her kitchen, interesting to see. In seeing this I considered the point of how people buy Art as a ‘statement’ of who they are and ‘what they are worth’ meaning it adds to their status, which is entirely based on money and nothing else. So for example they would not consider buying the work of an artist who sells their art cheap, no matter how skilled the work was, because it would ‘devalue’ their status from the perspective of making them ‘worth less’ (interesting worth less = worthless) So they rather buy something expensive so they retain their value, So from this perspective if you had two works exactly the same, they would buy the expensive one as to ensure their status remain “upper-class” I always get the urge to start marketing my work to these people, but just cant get myself to do it. Its tempting but I fear that I would eliminated another market by doing this, not that I really sell much work anyways. Sometimes I think that I have priced my work in no-mans-land like just can’t seem to find the right point with it. Speaking of which, when I was done work today and got home to check my e-mail, I had received a mail notifying me that I had Won a Draw and will receive a 25.00 gift certificate to an art supply shop here in town. I remember the thought that I had as I filled out that form a few weeks back – that I had good odds to win because if everyone felt as I did in that moment with regards to filling out the form to qualify for the gift certificate, nearly no one would do it, because I didn’t really feel like it, but I remember in that moment I simply pushed through the resistance and took the physical actions and filled out the form. And now won the prize. That’s cool. This whole art point is interesting. I experience the point as quite irrelevant at times. Today I placed one of my paintings in this frame that I had bought a while back and simply wanted to test to see what the painting looked like in it. As I did this, its like I have many thoughts of the complete irrelevancy of the ‘whole thing’ the whole thing being the art thing. Well obviously, this entire world is irrelevant. The functionality of society and social participation is irrelevant. What we spend our time doing here on earth, our daily actions day in and day out are irrelevant, yet people just go along with it, attempting to find some satisfaction, some joy, attempting to make it “worth while” mostly just accepting that this is how it is completely and simply signing on the dotted line to make the “best of it” But I have realized that it never goes anywhere. The mathematics do not accumulate to that which is best for all, do not accumulate to that which will stand for eternity. This is a simple equation and I will share this, what I have found and seen for myself unconditionally, because within now what I have seen, I actually experience myself as having some purpose, some substance to myself and my experience, that “it isn’t all a waste” and so if anyone who is reading this line, who is not considering the point of equality, within the context of an equal money system, and considering “what is best for all” in every moment, I suggest doing so, as within this you will see, that everything you do and have ever done, was/is actually nothing. And that you have simply just been and are trapped in meaningless cycles over and over and over never adding up and accumulating to anything. You will see that your entire participation within this world in irrelevant. And that what you have been doing the whole time is figuring out ‘cute’ ways to explain, and ‘joke’ away the reality of your actual existence which is meaningless, abusive, and suppressive. We have created an entire, language, way of communicating, and interacting with each which only hide and vial the truth of what is actually going on. Our entire communication/language/interaction is just one elaborate justification and excuse to simply trap ourselves again and again, into abusive patterns and behaviour of alcohol, drugs, hatred, anger, sexual abuse, inequality – An Absolute FUCK-UP. This life is a Waste of Time. Though from a certain perspective I cannot blame anyone or expect anyone to “see the point” as from where I am standing the foundation perse, is built out of that which has been shown and communicated to me from the perspective of I did not initially see how I was existing until it was pointed out to me. So once again people – THERE IS ANOTHER WAY TO LIVE, IT IS POSSIBLE, A COMPLETE NEW WAY OF LIVING AND EXISTING FOR ALL AND EVERYONE, WHERE THE STARTING POINT OF OUR ACTIONS AND WORDS AND EXPRESSION IS BASED WTIHIN THE CONSIDERATION OF DOING WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL, Meaning we see and understand that we are inseparable from everything that is here, and that we take responsibility for ALL that is here equally, as each one take responsibility for themselves as one who take responsibility for ALL, thus ALL and Each Considering ALL and EACH in every way, this will end abuse, war, starvation, suffering, as we realize that those who stand before us is one and equal to ourselves and thus we ‘treat’ them as we ‘treat’ our self. Such a simple mathematical equation to End All Abuse. A world where we stand together, express together, walk together –Within A Common Principle, like a thread as an Understanding that extends through each and every point/being in existence, unifying ALL within this Principle, this Understanding of Who we are as Equals. This Thread, the foundation of Our New Way of Life. A Life that is Dignified, Where No one has to stand in Fear of Abuse, where we actually support each other in expression instead of judge each other. I can see nothing in this world that is worth keeping. I suggest Stand-Up for Equality, and a New Equal Money System, and World Equality System that is based in Equality thus ensure that all beings are respected equally, and that no one being is valued less or more than another, so that ALL can stand eye to eye as equals.