Tag Archives: enjoyment

The Way Of The Destonian

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I went and voted today in our Canadian Election. I had some resistance to doing this simply out of laziness, and I could see I had no real reason to not go. I had some back-chat excuses that came up, like “It is pointless” or “ it doesn’t matter anyways” or “its to late anyways” or “you don’t have the right ID” But With the Tools that I have now been developing / applying within the "Desteni I Process" I could see that I was resisting and simply attempting to come up with some excuse to justify me not going, which was not acceptable and thus I did not accept such excuses and pushed myself to go. This has been a cool point with the Desteni I Process, where in, within participating with DIP, one actually start to become more aware of themselves and how they are actually creating their reality, and thus stop accepting and allowing themselves to essentially just be slaves to their thoughts, feelings and emotions, but rather start becoming more directive and effective within their world. Particularly how we as human beings exist as and consist of primarily Excuses and Justifications, and that this has become our way of being, and so with Desteni I Process one actually start to take on this beingness of self and begin the process of developing self that Stand Up For Life and stop the excuses and start taking Responsibility for themselves, this earth, and what is here. I went over with my roommate and we both voted. As we walked into the school where we were to vote there were some kids there making some comments with regards to us being there voting, like “thanks for voting” and cheering and things, lol. Its funny, voting is considered the “right thing to do”, like if you vote, than you are good and responsible, and if you do not vote than you are bad and an outcast. The Kids thanking us for voting obviously had no idea what voting is actually about and were basically just saying that stuff because they believed that if they did, they would get approval of some kind or that they were doing "the right thing". Its sad that we are programming children this way, to speak and act in ways that they do not understand, but are only trained to believe, with no background as to why it is that way. They are trained to simply accept something as right because their parents or some adult says, “that is right and that is wrong” without actually giving the child the understanding as the actual specific workings, details and context of why something is right or wrong. It is simply – “that is right and that is wrong, and do not question me”. And in this we DESTROY Life and DESTROY Children. This world is such a mess. Voting is such a mess. Why not just teach every individual on earth how the earth actually works and bring everyone to the same understanding so that it is absolutely clear to all individuals what is required to be done to ensure the effective management of this earth in terms of what is best for all. In this we would not have to endure the election process where you simply have world leaders attempting to convince individuals that they have the best answer though within all of this - The Entire Picture is never seen nor understood. Its all about 'maybes' and 'what if's', 'opinions' Politicians along with everyone else have come to such a complacent acceptance of this world and the way it is and no more see how ABSURD it actually is. Like for example having locks on your car door so that nothing gets stolen. This is so common, to have locks on your car door. So that we can lock the car at night or when we go into the store so we do not get robbed. This is strange. There should be no reason for Locks. Human Begins should actually walk/live in self respect and dignity and treat all other humans with dignity as they themselves would want to be treated. At the moment locks on your car door is simply accepted by everyone and no one seems to notice what this is implying – Everyone Still existing within a “that’s just the way it is” mind-set, so much so that they will argue for this and not consider it possible to live in a world where such seemingly normal things a locks and locking your car door is not necessary because each being on earth would actually honor one another, and not need or require to steal anything. Most people are this way and are quick to say – Its not possible to create such a world, where humans no longer steal and cheat and lie. There is however a group that simply does not accept such limitations. There is a group that SEE that for example we should not have to lock are doors at night, that it is actually possible to bring forth a world without war, poverty, a group who are not accepting the limitation that “its just human nature and there is nothing that can be done” I stand with this group, as I see that I cannot stand with such a world that accept such atrocious acts and ways of living to be “just how it is” Utter Bull-shit this is. This Group is Desteni, and I stand with this group because I much prefer to stand with beings who push for self respect, dignity and a world that is Best for ALL. One aspect I enjoy about participating with Destonians is I do not have to manipulate anyone when I speak to them or deal with them trying to deceive and manipulate me, to get an fix or energy as an energetic high to fuel their ego. These EGO EXCHANGES are much less within the Destonian Community and I find this allows for myself to be able to actually breath and relax and enjoy my experience. There literally is a Kindness that comes through with the desteni group, A kindness that is extremely rare in this world. And I am not talking about “people who are nice to you” I am talking about people who understand themselves and their experience of self in such a way where they are not constantly projecting their inner suppressed anger, frustrations and bull-shit onto you. I mean you can be as nice as you want but behind this be actually having nasty thoughts about the person and blaming the person for all sorts of stuff. This is really not cool and I find this is how this world exit. At desteni Each one is willing to take responsibility for themselves to the utmost degree and take responsibility for each thought that come up and all that is going on inside themselves. Because of this I don’t have to constantly be on the look out for beings projecting their shit onto me or another or blaming me or another, because Destonians are actually standing up and taking responsibility for themselves, where in fact I have found literally no one in this world that does this or is even aware of the point of taking absolute self responsibility for themselves and what goes on inside themselves. I am not saying that it never happens, because this is a process, though it is definitely a relief to be interacting with beings that are aware of this point of taking absolute self responsibility for everything of themselves and essentially all that is HERE. I mean this is fucking cool shit, participating with Beings that are Willing to Take Absolute FULL Responsibility for ALL that is Here, for all that exist on this Earth. Each One standing within this point and taking this point on and not accepting excuses or saying “why should I have to take responsibility for someone else” So Yes, I much rather participate with Beings who will NOT accept any such excuse But simply see the common sense in Standing Up and taking responsibility for ALL that is HERE, no matter what. I mean From this perspective Destonians Really Get Shit Done and do not ever pass the responsibility off to someone else saying “oh its not my responsibility” If you are tired of a world where all that exist are excuses and justifications, and limitations, suggest to investigate the Desteni I Process - http://desteniiprocess.com/ Because this is the training to educate ourselves to actually become Responsible Individuals to the utmost Degree, accepting no more excuses or justifications, but just Getting it Done. No more accepting this world that we have created, and such points as having to lock are doors at night – I mean com’on people, what is the point of giving up on that which you really actually want this world to be like. Like the way you expected it to be when you were a child, where you actually had the freedom to express yourself - That is if you were not dying of starvation somewhere. At Desteni we are a group of individuals who are not accepting this world how it is and are coming together to bring about a change. At the moment one of the Primary Goals is the bringing about of an Equal Money System , where we actually replace the current money system with an New Equal Money System. And before you accept that experience within yourself coming up as you read this where you simply dismiss this or believe this is not possible – I would suggest to consider the point that in dismissing the equal money system, you are essentially implying that you agree with this current world, of crime, war, extensive poverty, child labour , starvation, stress of money, and basically struggling to survive each day. As long as we stand by this current world the way it is – nothing will ever change, and from my perspective, I have had enough of this world and thus participate fully in the Bringing forth of an equal money system, and a world that is actually the world we have always wanted to live in, and that supports ALL individuals to live and express and explore themselves. Equal Money Website – www.equalmoney.org Become a Destonian – http://desteniiprocess.com/ Desteni Main Website – www.desteni.co.za

Keep it Simple Keep it Stable

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So a point opened up within me just now in reading a post. It is simply being accountable for myself in each and every moment and every circumstance and not accepting and allowing myself to “let my guard down” which is basically me going into my mind. And just letting my world fall to shit in no time at all. This has been a ‘problem’ with me I notice in my application. This absolute point of consistency and constancy. I have noticed that I am sort of consistent and kind of constant sometimes which really just shows that this point is not yet in place. Particularly since getting back to Canada I have faced this point quite a bit in getting my world sorted out, and getting a job, and just the basic practical points of “my life” I see that I tend to go into a kind of submission to the world, and to the system, and just not wanting to do anything, and I allow myself to go into this energy and then I stop being consistent and my world starts to fall apart. Then I pick myself up again and get back to business and am stable for a while but then eventually again this point creeps up and I give-in to “not wanting to do anything”. I see it more a fear and actually a point of Self Dishonesty and Self-Pity and Manipulation where I allow myself to go into “things are just too hard” and I always fall on this point of Directing my world. Which I see if I would actually Fucking Stand-UP in these moments and remain stable constant in my application and also to support myself through these moments using self forgiveness and breath, that I would develop my Self-Strength and effectiveness and would be much more directive and my world would probably “work better” And this is because it is mathematically so, where in I am simply directing more physical points and ensuring the practical points of my reality are moving and directed. The simple shit of basic human living – This is where I “give in” like not wanting to clean your room when it is obviously way to disorganized, not wanting to answer that one e-mail you know you should, not wanting to log online and pay the bills, not wanting to search for jobs online. So it is really the points that make ones world tick, and make ones world move. So I will do this and be able to sustain doing this for a while but eventually I reach that point where I start to strain. And that’s it. That’s the moment where I could make my life a whole lot easier by not making it more difficult. I Don’t actually have to do anything special or profound, but just keep consistently directing the basics of my world and actually remain constant and stable and effective and HERE within doing this so that I do it effective and not just enough to make it go. Keep it simple keep is stable

Doing Things Instead of Expressing Self – October 26th

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Well, I made some vlogs today speaking about my experience about work and stuff, but the sound was messed up on some of them and then the other ones I was not satisfied. So now this is a point here which has become a suppression point. This doing vlogs. I have over the last week or so, done probably around 8 vlogs or so, and I have not posted a single one. I often am simply not satisfied with the clarity and precision of myself within speaking. So I am here looking at this point now of why I have created about 8 vlogs and not posted any of them, but erase them, or just leave them sitting there because I am simply not satisfied with them. Sometimes I believe that the vlogs and the information I am speaking is not specific enough or is just mind stuff. Other times its like I mess up on a point, or get lost in what I am saying for a moment or two, or in some I notice I go into knowledge and information that I have not actually lived, and so just have found I am not satisfied with any of the vlogs I have been making. I have also been preparing for an art fair that is going to be here on the weekend. This process I have experienced as quite obligatory for the most part, rehearsed, uninspired, and like, dead! Probably because most of the drawings I am working with are like Old, Old, Old, and there are only a few new ones, so its like all this old dead shit, instead of new alive shit that is now an expression of myself as who I am currently living and walking. Its like I have changed since starting this process with desteni, but have not brought this through into the art work yet. In a way there is an excitement there also, kind of like “saving the best for last” where I hold off and hold off knowing all the while that when I actually do start with making some art, that Im sure I will enjoy the expression that comes through. This has also been a question of mine also – When am I going to start making art? I spend almost not time doing this at all, at the moment relating this point to first getting myself into a position that is more stable in terms of me actually having an income coming in before I start spending time doing this. Though I am curious as to when the fuck I am going to start with making some art. Its like, what is going on with me? In a way my application has become boring from a certain perspective. Like I’m not engaged with what I am doing, and with my life, but I will use this word again which I just used – Obligatory. I mean there are moments of enjoyment, but I really do not experience myself as actually really living and expressing me, where mostly things are routine, and plain, and I really don’t do much, in terms of actually expressing myself in that which I do, its like mostly things are just blaaaand. Even in my writing, its like I kind of just do it and have to push myself to do it, but haven’t really found myself expressing me much, but more just doing things. I have enjoyed making vlogs, even though I did not place them, I did enjoy speaking about certain points on camera. I like speaking and communicating even though I am not always satisfied with that, I cannot deny that vlogs are quite cool to do.   I have decided to take on the job at the farm, even though I do experience fears about this which come up in terms of fearing my self expression. Actually this is quite interesting this fear. I fear that I will not be able to express myself, and I mean to express oneself is fun. I fear that the structure that exist there, will suppress me, and that I will not be able to express myself there fully. That is one of the more prominent fears, that I will be suppressed into a kind of silence and limitation and I will not enjoy that at all, and that I will only be able to really express me with myself alone. Its like people develop these structures as rules and ways of being and interacting that they place within their worlds and then exist within, and that I just find that I have not always been that great at being able to exist within these structures of conduct and parameters and really be able to express myself. Though I have never really been one to be a “people person” but I would like to change this. I found that I actually started to “get to know people more” when I was on the desteni farm, and now simply see the ‘value’ if you want to call it that of actually interacting and exploring, sharing and expressing, and really getting to know others within a self intimacy. Even though I see this, I still tend shy away from it as I always found it so much easier to express with myself alone in my room. And honestly I have lived this kind of alone application enough, where I see, obviously that I must now actually push the point of interaction with other beings, and get over my resistances to doing this, so I can actually be comfortable with others, instead of being uncomfortable. I really don’t like when people get mad or angry or irritated. Its like I tend to try and avoid this at all cost. Especially when they take it out on others, or in particular, me! That is one reason why I do not like being around others, because I really do not enjoy the experience of another being reacting to a point when I am in their presence. Or yes, even more reacting towards me. Fuck I still have to sort that point out. Like taking shit personally. And suppressing anger that comes up. Its like Why? Why would you say or do that towards me. Most of the time I really just want to fucking stand up in that moment and tell the being immediately to simply Stop the bull-shit. Like blatantly point out what the fuck they just did and actually turn the point right back on them so that they see exactly what they did. But normally I just stand there in bewilderment like, what the fuck, this being is blaming me right now or taking shit out on me, or not taking responsibility for themselves, and normally I just stand quietly in anger an “take-it” So when I am alone in my room I do not have to deal with this. Deal with beings reacting in Frustration and Anger. I mostly encountered this point with my father growing up, so if I had to pinpoint where I actually created this point of staying in my room away from people, I would say I created and refined this point in relation to my father. Where I remember experiencing this point of “avoiding” him allot during my life, and just “getting the fuck outta there” mostly I could go to my room and hide, because it was like he was allot of the time irritated and angry and frustrated and would react all the time towards others and it would really just be a shit experience, so I preferred to just stay in my room, like, out of the way of this projection bullshit. From a certain perspective though I did not really understand why he was so frustrated and angry and irritated, so there is point to consider and forgive and stop any points of blame or anger I have towards him. Even around him now I notice in every moment (quite fascinating really) there is this resonant point, like a waiting, an expectation of the eventual point where his anger, frustration, irritation will come out and be directed at someone around him. Fuck, when most recently I was around him, I noticed that each time he would enter the room or come home or something like that, I would like, “take a step back” like a waiting...waiting to see...almost like an expectation of him being angry and argumentative. And this point simply exist inside of me always and constantly. And then there was like a small moment or experience of relief when he would open his mouth and speak, and his words were actually pleasant or simply not angry...then its like..oh, ok its cool to express me here, he is not angry, so its ok if I speak my mind, or can really just let go in a way, and relax, so I see I have developed this resonant point of holding my breath within and expectation of anger in relation to my father, which I simply see as a resonant point which I developed over time with regards to my general experience around him as I cannot at this moment pinpoint a specific event which occurred where this point really “sunk in” So in a way me staying in my room now and wanting to avoid people and their reactions is actually me simply staying in my room and hiding away from my father. So a point here to explore and forgive. And actually stand up and face this anger with people. And face the fear I have inside me of facing this anger and reactions  and what could possible happen. Like being overpowered and diminished.