Tag Archives: destonian

Being a Fully Functional Member of the System (Standing Equal to the System)

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Being a Fully Functional Member of the System (Standing Equal to the System) This was a point that I took on doing when I entered back into the system around a year and half ago now. This point was not always totally clear in terms of what or how I would be doing this, but has clarified over the last year as a Directive Point that I have taken on. To Stand Equal to the system where I work and function as a member of the system, playing by the system rules, and using the tools of the system to become effective and successful in the system. So I required to do a few things as I had previously in my life wanted to do anything but stand equal to the system. I never did my taxes or cared about credit, or cared to get a job, or become an upstanding citizen so to speak. I see that I must do this, that I must “become” the system so to speak by standing equal to and as it, and becoming effective within it. This is something that actually goes against my initial pre-programming seeing as how I was raised in a  more “creative” family system that did not use money as motivation or a marker for success per-se but more focused on creativity / art as that which was given allot of attention. In this money or system savvy was simply not a part of our family really. Though some of my uncles and were business men so I observed this point in the peripheral of my family structure but was never a point that penetrated to much into/through the walls of our primary family unit… One of the main aspects of my life/approach/starting point which I required to adjust for myself to become more aligned with how the system actually function is what I placed as my “priorities” Because for a long time I placed Art and Creativity and Personal Enjoyment very high on that list, and making money and working in the system as secondary. I have though re-established my starting point to where “making money” and working in the system where in I ensure always that I have a basic income stream always coming in, is now my priority. This is much more “Practical” in terms of actually supporting me in the context of this world and what I am here doing. My previous approach was simply not practical at all, and because of this I always struggled to meet my basic survival needs and was always living on the fringe of society. In essence that is what Art Schools do. They prepare the individuals who are going to live on the fringe of the system. What a fuck up. So that was quite a Key Adjustment I required to make and I must say it makes everything much simpler. Art in my life is now a secondary point as something to explore expand only after I have established in my world my foundational income stream as support to live and function within the system. I am getting there but still I have work to do in terms of actually getting caught up on my loans and start building up my credit so I can actually get a credit card! – lol. I am kind of just “going over” a few points here as basic background to how I have been living and assisting and supporting myself to get this point sorted out for myself so that I am not “stepping on my own feet” in my process to assist and support the bringing forth of an Equal Money System. This is in essence my Top Priority. This is my total dedication of myself because there is no point to support such a system as the one we are currently living in due to its cruel and abusive nature and what kind of world our current system is sustaining/creating. Thus the only reason I am directing myself to become equal to the system, to become a fully functioning member of the system is so that I can be stable and in a position to actually assist and support the bringing forth of an Equal Money System. A New System that actually support life.  Thus this requires food to eat, internet connection, place to live etc, so I can do the basic responsibilities which are required to bring forth an Equal Money System. So Yes, Art simply is “not important” to me at the moment in terms of how I used to give it such importance. Of course I still enjoy exploring this point but It no longer has control over me the way it used to. Though this definitely took some years of (4) of walking out of this possession I created of “wanting to be an artist” So I rather look at things more practically. Art may be able to generate an income, but it is not as practical as sticking to something initially that is more consistent and aligned with how the system function. Thus I have directed myself to do more practical labour jobs, as this is a point that I have had some training in. Actually I remember the words of Bernard mentioning to me before I left the farm that I can “always fall back on my hands” (or something like that) meaning to utilize “my two hands” and do practical labour as something I can use to support me if other things do not work out. So in a way I actually went straight to this point. Looking at what practical services I can do, and how I can use “my two hands” to effectively support myself in this world. I enjoy working with my Hands, like doing practical things. And many people try and get away from doing this, so it opens up space for people who are willing to do this to generate money for themselves. So I focused on this aspect when looking at what kind of work I could do in the system to start supporting myself effectively. One other little point that supported me in my process of standing on my own 2 feet and working with my own 2 hands – lol was : Don’t do what you want to do, Do what must be done. This point has assisted me in expanding myself in terms of what I am willing to do to support myself. Even 5 years ago I would have refused and resisted to do almost anything that was not related to art and my own personal desires.  I had really really limited myself in this but I did not know any better. I did not see nor understand the “greater context” of this world so to speak. So obviously my understanding/perspective has change allot over the past 4 years participating with Desteni. And thus so much of who I was and what I was willing to was simply based in Ego which a point I am assisting and supporting myself to stop within myself. What Kind of Human Being am I, that would look at / see this world and all that is happening and simply ignore it and refuse to assist in sorting it out. Its like standing face to face with a starving child and saying “sorry, Id rather paint a picture, and satisfy my own aspirations and desires that make sure you at least have an equal amount of food and support as I do” This obviously being Ego, and ignorance particularly in relation to the fact that I was simply born into my life of having food and money. I could have easily been the one born into poverty – Anyways “my priorities” where quite delusional and fucked up to say the least. So I have now just worked the Last 6 months at a full time job doing Landscaping. This job is now winding down as winter is just around the corner and you cannot do landscaping in the winter. So I am preparing now to move into doing Snow Removal for the winter season which is a point I did last year as well. A point that I would have not considered doing if I had continued to just allow myself to “Do what I want to do” instead of “doing what must be done” I started doing snow removal last year which was quite a cool experience. I did not have a job and in a way this was a situation where I was “falling back on my own two hands” so to speak, because I was willing to work, and thus saw an opportunity to apply myself doing snow removal and generate some money for myself through the winter months. I had allot of fears about doing it, and that it wouldn’t work and I would fail and all that stuff. But I did it anyways, and realized in the end that these fears were not real, even though they seemed very real. I ended up doing it for the entire winter season and managing to get myself through the winter. This year I am little more prepared so will be interesting to see how it goes. I see I have these same fears as last year coming up inside me, though my experience with walking through these fears last year is supporting me this time around to just breathe and continue to direct and apply myself within the point. My expenses has gone up also so my goal this year is to double the amount of money I made last year doing this. I have just got my business cards and advertisements from the printers a couple days ago, and will head out (I think next week) to focus on some neighbourhoods around where I live to see if I can get my clients more in one area this year. I am much more stable this year at this stage than I was last year. I see that that is because I actually did apply myself and find work, so that I have something to build off of, and already established to support me so to speak. This process has not been a breeze or magic or happening really fast either. It has taken time. My approach has been more basic and fundamental in terms of supporting me to establish a stable base income for myself. But I am grateful that I have placed attention on doing this and not leaving this as a secondary point. It has assisted me in stabilizing myself much more in my world. www.equalmoneysystem.org www.desteni.co.za www.desteniiprocess.com

Self Forgiveness on “The Soul”

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  Self Forgiveness on Soul. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there existed a soul within me that pass over and continue existing when I die. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “not know” if there was a soul within me or not. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my soul is more pure than me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there can be an aspect of myself that Is more pure existing independent from other aspects of myself, and in this way separate myself from the soul, where in I exist in separation to the soul. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an aspect of myself to exist independent from me, where in it just kind of does its own thing, and within I do not direct all of myself here, and am also implying a lack of awareness of self in that there is apparently as aspect of me that is all knowing and pure, that I have not actual direct, in fact relationship with at all, but that only exist as an idea in my mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my soul is better and superior than me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a soul because this would mean that I live forever and that is what I want. I don’t want to die because I fear dying and I like being alive, and I don’t want to die. And thus hoped that there was soul, and within this actually separated myself from my responsibility to decide for myself if I live or die, but have believed that I have no choice in the matter, as Death is “beyond me” and all-mighty. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place death and the soul in the same category, where in I see the soul as good and death as black and scary. Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my idea/perception of what I think death is, where I have created this whole idea of what I think death will be like, and then fear that Idea. And thus am not really fearing death, per-se but more fearing an idea that I have created within myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the soul and things related to the existence of the soul as “higher than me” and within this imply that I am limited and less than, here within this physical body within this life, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand within and as limitation which I imposed on myself through accepting and allowing this idea of the soul. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the human physical body as well as this physical world as planet earth as limited and not take into consideration ourselves as limitless beings where ever we are in every moment. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself to such an extent that I believed that I was unable to commune with the soul or anything that was from this realm, and thus existed within a state of limitation. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find it hard to believe that we are not limited as/within the human physical body here in the physical I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the soul as the ultimate good, and that in the end “man is good” because the soul is good. And to not really believe in the devil and the bad, because “that stuff can’t exist” because everyone has a soul, and a soul is good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get confused within all this information and ideas about the soul. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am automatically good, as I have accepted myself as having / being a soul, and have defined/believed this to be ultimately good, and within this I forgive myself for not considering that I AM WHO I AM, and thats that, in relation to the context of how I live in my day to day moment to moment application of self here as who I am in every moment where in “A soul is not responsible for me and who I am” I am responsible for me and who I am based on how I live and apply myself day to day, in every moment of my existence here, and also I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself as who I am into2 categories only, either being bad or good. Thus I stop such allowances and acceptances of self. I let go of this delusion that somehow “the sou” defines me, and I realize that who I am, is who I am based on my moment to moment application of self and all of myself as me. That is really who I am. And Thus I face the point that there is “no free pass” which I had accepted and allowed myself to exist within, within believing that there was a soul. There is not free pass, there is not “guiding light” I guide myself HERE in full responsibility for and as myself and I take responsibility for my actions and I realize that my actions have consequences and this is also another way to assess who I am in fact which is not related to something that does not even exist, but that I “hold as an idea only” as my saving grace and guiding light to always guide me out of the darkness, instead of taking back my directive principle and walking Here for and as Myself in and As Total Self Direction and Responsibility for and as Myself, as Who I am. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design an idea that act as my “guiding light” of me never having to actually walk and live for myself, walking into the darkness and trusting myself every step of the way, alone with no guiding light, but only me myself Here with and as myself as self support. I forgive myself for not allowing myself to trust me without the soul guiding me to make sure I do not fall off the path, and thus whenever I walked into a situation, placed my trust in the soul as this ultimate guiding force, instead of standing HERE within and as Self Trust, and developing the ability to walk within and as Self Trust in every moment and every situation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wander endlessly in the dark while all this atrocious shit happens in this world, because I had completely abdicating my self directive principle of myself to some higher force/soul as a guiding light. Where in I placed my trust in this soul or higher force to know whats best for me, and thus I never actually grab the wheel and steer myself and direct myself for and as myself. Within this using practical common sense to sort out the mess that is here as this world and put an end to the abuse and atrocities in this world through simply by directing my actions within common sense instead of floating around where all of my directive power is placed within some higher being to decide for me, to make the right choices for me within my life, instead of me directing me here in every moment, decision and choice that I am faced with in each moment no matter how big or small. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wander within my mind/idea of the soul as my guiding light, and within this never actually learn how to direct this reality that is here as the physical into a world that supports all and is best for all and is an effective reality and supports life, because I was to busy wandering around within this point of just “doing stuff” because the soul as guiding light will take care of all the important decisions in my life, and thus MISS my entire life in where I never actually direct myself within the important decisions, or any decisions and this world crumble around us as we all blissfully stair into the light, and never actually starting directing ourselves within establishing the necessary relationships, real relationships based on practical common sense and supporting what is here as this planet we live in and taking full responsibility for this and stop abdicating this to some higher force or god or soul as guiding light in all of this, where the entire world just existing in disarray within the belief that we are beig guided and directed by something more than us, like an ultimate greater good, instead of all of us here pulling our heads from our assess and start creating our world for ourselves in a way that no longer accepted and allow abuse and that actually support ourselves as life within and as our self expression. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “dream about the soul” where I would know all the answers and do everything correctly and never make a mistake, but not bringing this point back to self and walking the practical step by step application of actually developing the ability to make effective decisions for myself instead of just “wanting this to happen instantly” in terms of how I believed the soul to be. I forgive myself for not considering that if I am a soul than I will still have to direct myself as I do now in this life, and that “things never happen automatically” thus the point is that I simply must walk the necessary steps to become an effective decision maker so that “I know what to do” instead of thinking and believing that this will magically happen to me, without me taking responsibility for myself and leaning to walk and do this for myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within believing in the soul and soul construct become passive and non-committal and subdued, where in I am never really active, and engaged within my reality in every moment where I am an active participating within and as my world, due to abdicating this responsibility to the soul within accepting the idea that the soul essentially is guiding me and making my decisions anyways. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never really learn how to commit myself to a decision and follow through with that because at some point I would give up and not take responsibility for my world, because I believed the soul was taking care of this anyways and thus “it would turn out for the best” I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look to the soul for answers to my questions about life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because there is no consequence that I see/experience in a moment of actions, that this means its “ok” and within this not consider the consequences that flow-out from such actions and that will in the end create and define my world and who I am. Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because I do not immediately see/experience a consequence related to my actions/self doesn’t mean that there isn’t one. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my “best interest” to a higher power, instead of directing this as who I am in every breath as every moment of my existence. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self direction as hopeless I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within realizing that I must move and direct myself, actually go into a point/experience of fear of actually willing myself to move and direct myself in all situations and events in this world. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as powerless within this life because I could never get clear answers from the soul. And that I did not trust myself to direct myself in my life. I forgive myself that I have accepted myself as limited through by accepting and allowing myself to exist in separation from life where in I saw/see/perceive life to be “so much bigger” than me and how could I be equal with/as life in order to make decisions that affected life. And thus I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to see me as inferior to life, and inadequate in relation to life, always placing myself beneath life and never actually able or capable of standing equal and one with life, and directing myself as life and directing life as myself equal and one. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I would fuck life up if I had the responsibility to direct life, and thus never saw myself as capable of having the responsibility to direct “the greater life” that is here, not realizing that I am in fact doing this already in every moment that I am here, in my moment to moment living application of self. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop the idea within myself that “man is useless” because everything that ever showed a high skill level was attributed to “the divine” and so accepted and allowed myself to believe that the only way to “become better” was to have god or the divine possess me and express through me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that really good art was done by the hand of god, which implied that the “soul” was the ultimate creator/expressor and had some magical meaning or insight and that man is really not capable of this, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “look for the divine” as a point of self improvement instead of developing the trust, courage and will power to do this for myself through discipline practical step by step walking. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself so that the soul can exist where in I no longer direct myself as who I am as an equal part of life, but suppress myself in relation to the idea that I soul is apparently directing me and within this wonder around this world with no real, clear, decisive direction of self in my application. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret not learning how to direct myself when I was younger. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there must be some mistake, and that the way that I lived and directed myself was correct, and that how could I have lived most of my life without actually Standing within and as myself and my world as the directive principle of me and my world. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in moments give up on my as the directive principle and want to rest. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping and resting as me as the directive principle because I fear the consequences of this, and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am not able to actually see the consequences of my actions/self standing in every moment. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear “going out on my own” and directing myself within and as my world in every moment because I fear facing my world and all the various, variety of situations and events and people that are out there that I must face. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being an active participant within this world. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my pre-programming to direct me and shape out my world and how I live, instead of establishing/re-establishing these patterns, the patterns that I have created and developed over time within and as myself, into patterns of support, effectiveness, participation, and patterns that support in bringing forth an effectively functional world equally for all who are here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to like the idea of the soul because then I don’t have to do the hard work and actually direct myself then use this “soul construct” as the perfect excuse to be lazy and not direct myself in situations moments that are challenging. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “when things get tough – abdicate my responsibility to something or someone else other than myself directing me here in every moment. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my responsibility to direct and move me here in every moment as Life to the idea of a soul. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to say to myself “things will be ok” and within doing this, not actually directing each and every single aspect of my world effectively, clearly, and decisively but allowing myself to only direct some points half way or not at all, and then go into a state of hope which is actually delusion where I convince myself that the points will be “ok” instead of remaining here within the realization that I am responsible for ALL of myself and that what i do not give direction to, will simply no move or rather always only move in relation to the direction I give it. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to spend my life seeking pleasure and things I enjoy doing and to leave the rest of the responsibilities of this world to something or someone else. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the soul would take care of all the bigger responsibilities, and thus never considered or gave these points specific definitive direction, and rather just spent my life creating pleasure and joy for myself, while the world crumbles down all around me with me being completely oblivious to it. And thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand equal to life in all responsibilities of and as life. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to establish a relationship of separation where in I have separated myself from life and the soul where in I see these aspects as “beyond me” as “out there” and carry some magical mystical, ultra intelligent, all knowing force, and within this held a point inside myself of someday at some point in the future eventually “being there” and in this simply wait for this moment due to me having defined myself as incapable of understanding or comprehending this ultimate truth, and so just waited for this and lived out my life existing within and as a point of myself as limitation, and thus accepted and allowed a world and life that reflect this idea/belief. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to establish a relationship with some form of a soul/god/higher life purpose/principle, where I am in fact standing within and as a point of inferiority and that this “higher principle” is in a position of superiority, and in this separated myself from my absolute full directive principle of myself HERE where in I am always responsible for my reality and world and self in every way shape or form with my own two hands. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate me from me and in this actually diminish and dis-empower myself through by maintaining  a point within and as myself which believed that I do not have access to myself as the absolute and full creative principle in every moment due to believing that some higher force out there control some aspect or point of myself and thus within this never had stood up as the full complete directive principle of myself and my world IN EVERY WAY, and no more believing that there is some heaven or some existence out there that is wonderful and amazing that one day I will get to experience. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within thinking / imagining / pondering about other existences or worlds, or heavens existing “out-there” somewhere, that are wonderful and amazing and beyond me and beyond my imagination where I am a kind of god and magical important super being and within this ignore, and forget and disregard this reality that is HERE, and myself and my own world the creation of myself and world IN EVERY MOMENT as every breath. I forgive myself for not realizing that I am creating myself and world / reality as what is here in every moment of my existence as every breath, based within my acceptances and allowances of who I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as. And in this not realize the extend and absoluteness of myself as creative principle, and that I never stood as this creative principle as I was too busy abdicating this responsibility to some idea of the soul, or higher power or force out there somewhere. I let go of all desire to experience some “other reality” out the future, and simply remain here within and as breath and realize that if I would like to experience a particular point than I must walk that into creation practically within the physical step by step and actually create the point in this reality in and as the physical, and thus it is important to consider that this creation have no consequential outflow of abuse or harm towards life but act as a mechanism of life support as a common sense consideration of who I am as life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest, bring forth corruption on this planet through the acceptance and allowance of the soul construct within me and within others, where by “looking the other way” become a way of life and thus people begin to deceive with ease, as everyone just get so used to not taking responsibility for their actions as consequence that massive corruption take place that manifest a world of liying and cheating and stealing, and secrets, and basically attempting to live without taking responsibility for your actions . I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fully accept poverty and starvation within this world and that I have accepted and allowed myself to cultivate starvation and poverty within this world by and through believing in a soul, where in I abdicate my self directive principle and not ever take full responsibility for myself and my realty, and thus leave millions to die and suffer as everyone in this world do not take full responsibility for what is here, and in relation to this, develop the ability to “ignore the consequences of ones actions” and thus end up creating and manifesting such points of poverty and starvation where millions die of hunger, that seemingly is not related to what one is doing and how one live, but in fact is a result of this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is ok to take responsibility for myself some of the time and others its ok not to. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am unworthy because I have not been able to communicate with my soul which I perceive as worthy.

Exposing Deception Within the Words We Speak – “The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”

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“The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”   I am going to have a look at the above quote and open up some aspects of deception and manipulation contained within it. It is quite interesting to see how so much deception and also abuse can exist in the words we speak, particularly in “what is being implied” in what we are saying.   So the first point I noticed is the complete abdication of responsibility of Self As Creator. This phrase is initially separated into 2 distinct sections.  
  1. “The more I appreciate and show gratitude”
  2. “the more the Universe showers on me”
  Ok so what I see is that “the person”(who would speak/believe such a phrase) is essentially separating themselves from the universe, And placing the Universe in the position of God or some unseen, almighty, all powerful entity that is watching over us. Lol – Kind of like ones Parents do. Where if you are a good boy or girl as perceived through the eyes of the Parent (or Universe) then you get a reward.   What I find a common misconception with the point of Karma is that there is often a separation of cause and affect. Where many place Karma within the realms of Judgment, where that Judgment could possibly be anything, that that judgment is more “an interpretation” of the Judge like for instance, maybe you catch “God” on a good day and he lets you off easy.   The point not being taken into consideration is Self Responsibility Where in one take full absolute responsibility for themselves, their actions, and the consequences there of. And not abdicating this responsibility to some god, or the universe or anything other than self. This also implies a self accepted point of limitation because if one is not standing responsible for their actions and has no understanding of how their actions influence, affect, unfold, play-out into this world then they essentially have no creative principle as themselves within their world, where in if one were to Stand within Self Responsibility and Direct Self then one is able to Direct Self in ones moment to moment, day to day living application to ensure that what is created out of their expression is that which would cause no harm to another or themselves but rather play-out in a way that is Best for ALL, that takes into consideration all life equally and is directed towards the expansion of life in a supportive, dignified way, where we actually create a world where we do not have to exist in fear of one another. So in essence this statement suggests that the author has not yet taken Self Responsibility and began the process of discovery into how they are actually creating themselves and this world within and as every breath as every moment of their existence. Like a Driver of a vehicle that will push down on the acceleration but refuse to steer the wheel.   This point should actually be common knowledge and a point of education in the early development of children so we cultivate beings who are Truly bringing forth an expression of Life. So that All beings are equal participants and creators of/in what is here. taking into consideration every tiny iota of oneself and how ones expression in all aspects/faucets/nuances creates what is here.   getting back to the quote though…   “The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”   You  can see that the person is still existing as a Self accepted slave to the universe waiting for the Universe to deliver them with all that they want. As long as one is existing in separation instead of standing within and as Self Responsibility as Creator of Self and Self’s experience and world, one will always Exist in a state of hope, of waiting, of darkness actually because they never really know or or find out how “it all works” It would be much easier to simply “grab the wheel” and give yourself some Direction. No longer “waiting” for this to be, maybe, done for you that is if you show enough gratitude. No more waiting for the Universe to Decide your Fate. But rather taking this point into ones own hands and directing self in every moment to create for self a world that is supportive to self and others.   Another massive point of Deception in this statement is the author is not taking the practical side of reality into consideration nor looking at how this world actually “showers” abundance on individuals.   So A point I want to look at Here is the point of “The System”:, and the point of Creating Systems as a reflection of ourselves. Systems as that which is that which is actually manifesting the “good life” for some, and poverty and starvation and suffering for others. Because the point here is that the author of such a statement is definitely wanting the universe to shower some kind of abundance upon them but is not seeing how abundance is actually delivered in this world, and that the Universe does not deliver abundance, rather, it is the System(s) that we have created that does this. Particularly the Money Mystem.   For instance I could “pray” for money or show much much gratitude and hope the Universe delivers me the goods. Or I could simply play by the rules of the system, where in getting myself an education, and then high paying job to earn an effective income to then utilize the functionality of the system to produce abundance so to speak.   Also Gratefulness has really got nothing to do with it. This can be seen by the fact that those who really “have it all”, who really can do what ever they want and live a life that so many others can only  hope and dream about, are the ones who are simply at the top of the Money System and this does not mean that they show the most gratitude for life. Thus it is Money, not Gratitude that is actually the point which bring a life of abundance in terms of how this world is currently functioning. And furthermore  Money has got nothing to do with gratefulness as those who are really rich and living the life are in fact completely more likely to be completely ignorant of Life in fact, otherwise they would be directing themselves and their money towards a solution for all and supporting all beings equally where in this is NOT at all the case but rather they are just simply continuing to live the dream in deliberate ignorance of the millions upon millions of starving dying beings in this world, or those dying in unnecessary wars and acts of violence and abuse  and all the other wonderful outflows of our current system making possible an abundant lifestyle for those at the top, Lifestyles  that are NOT an indication/reflection of gratitude at all, but in most cases must actually deliberately abuse and harm life so that they are able to remain in their position of wealth and abudance. This, indicating to me rather a complete disregard for life.   Thus perhaps this statement should be revised a bit     “The more I deceive, disregard life, and place myself above all others, the more the Universe as the current  Money System showers on me.”   There that’s more realistic.   So basically the point being missed here in this original quote is that if one look practically how we have organized ourselves within this world, we have in fact done so through and as a system. And it is through this system that goods and resources and ultimately ones life is “delivered”. And that Money is the Keystone to this System, which one does not get by “being grateful” But rather by knowing how the rules of money work and thus applying those rules and generating money.   That is why we as Desteni are presenting an Equal Money System. An Equal Money System as an actual living expression of Gratefulness. Because at the moment I see a lack of gratefulness in this world, an immense lack of gratefulness indicated and reflected by and through the System we have put in place to manage ourselves on this planet within our lives. A system that as I have illustrated is not actually aligned with Gratefulness at all, but more with Greed, Ego, and disregard of Life.   Thus from my perspective a living application of Gratefulness is to Direct ones moment to moment daily living in such a way where ones actions and expression go into the correction of ourselves as the correction of the current system we have placed as our creation at the moment, that which is essentially providing for us “our lives” and so to  bring forth as our creation a  New System based on Equality, and Best for ALL which takes ALL life equally into consideration and does not have as part of its functionality such atrocious outflows such as war, as starvation, mass poverty, animal abuse as well as to “shower” money and riches  on those who in fact disregard life to the extreme.   Ooops. We really messed this current system up. Thus we correct ourselves and place a New System, a more effective system, a system based on the principle of “best for all” and “Equaliy and Oneness”   Thus investigate The Equal Money System as a Corrective System to replace the current capitalistic system.   www.equalmoney.org

Looking at some points related to Communication and Writing.

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Sometimes I experience a blank when I go to write. This has been occurring allot lately. I see that there is a point of self judgement where within judging what I am about to write actually keeps this “blankness” Here, as I judge what I am about to write or what I start writing and then might quickly erase it as I think to myself “no, no, no, thats not what I want to write about”. So I see this in fact a judgement which prevent me from actually moving from the starting line and exploring myself within writing. So rather I must support myself within moving through that which I am writing by not judging what I am writing or what is coming up in the moment. Because in some instances I will do this multiple times to the point where I eventually just close the document I am working on and do something else. So I will open a document and pause for a moment then say to myself in a way, “what shall I write about” Then a point, or sentence will come up within me and I will carry on to write this down but then get a few words in and pause and think, “nawww thats not good enough” and then I try and think of something else to write about. Then I will trap myself within this pattern instead of rather directing myself to just go with what comes up initially and not judge it. So today at work I was working with a co-worker and we were discussing different points related to the money system and human nature and just really touching on a few points and sharing perspectives. But I found myself to be quite frustrated in this because I find that I know actually so very little. Actually today I was pushing myself to speak up and assert myself a little more instead of holding back on giving my perspective, though it did not go that smoothly. I will continue to test this point out of expanding my communication through stepping outside of my normal programmed way of communicating and venture into some less explored waters where I will simply direct myself to speak where I normally would have kept quite. But after today this will require some adjustment already because in speaking up more I realized that “I don’t know shit” lol. Like I will start explaining something to someone and then realize as I start getting into the point “oh fuck, I actually don’t the necessary details to be able to explain the point. Like only having a surface idea of something but when it actually gets down to it my understanding is actually not at all sufficient on so many points that I believed that I had all sorted out. This made me realize that I must pay closer attention when I am reading an article so that when I go explaining a cool article to someone that I read just that same morning I don’t stop a few seconds in within the realization that, yes I read the article, but I do not remember shit about what it was actually about. It was like I wasn’t even reading it really, but only thought I was – LOL. Simply put – Pay more attention when I am reading and ensure that I have the comprehension of what is being presented in place so that if required I would be able to explain the main points of the article and give perspective on it. I asked myself today “what do I actually know” Because, ok, why not I just stick to communicating about stuff that I have a solid understanding about , and so I asked myself “what do I have a solid understanding about” and fuck – there is really not much. Particularly when it comes to certainties. Which is humbling. To see how much of my understanding and comprehension of reality is based on assumption. (ok one more point came up as I was writing my tags for this blog - It is the point of actually re-structuring my communication like for instance one must build the foundation for the house before they can build the house or put in the windows, and so today was like I was getting ahead of myself  instead of establishing building the necessary foundation / context for what I am communicating about.)  

Sharing My Daily Process – Settling in At Landscaping Job

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So at work at the moment, we are building a fence. A cedar fence. It smells nice and I enjoy working with the wood. I have been cutting allot on the table saw, and the saw slice through the wood quite smooth as the wood is ‘soft’ So I have been busy on this project at work for the whole week. I have enjoyed now starting work and the process of working. There is quite a bit of “moving points” within the job that one must require to align together at certain points in time, and so am pushing myself to get effective with my direction within all this, and essentially just becoming as effective as possible at doing my job. I have now been more busy the last 2 weeks at this job so things are still opening up and from a certain perspective everyone is still busy aligning with each other, and adjusting ourselves, from the perspective of puzzle pieces which must make some adjustments so that all pieces fit together as one unit, so from this perspective each one is still finding how everything is going to work and move etc. Each day I see points where I can improve myself within my application at work so this is cool, as I would like to be getting the most out of each moment, no matter where I am or what I am doing. I mean this is full-on work in the system now so would like to get precise, meticulous, specific, stable, and as directive as possible within this. So yes as mentioned, I am seeing each day areas where I can be more effective. Like for instance today I was looking at the point of not accepting and allowing myself to be lazy in my communication at any point in the day, where in I do not communicate a point thoroughly and precise but just kind of say what ever comes up, but not really taking on that point of stopping for a moment before I speak from the perspective of making sure that the words I speak are actually going to be clear and give effective direction, as I noticed I would at times, blur words together or not explain my point through using words in my vocabulary that would have made the entire explanation much easier to grasp. Aside from work, another interesting point came up today as I was standing in the shopping mall. The point is that I noticed that I was seeing/experiencing people as if they were ‘mean’ or “out to get me” or “would get angry” if I spoke or communicated with them. So this is interesting as I have accepted and allowed myself to within this develop a fear of people. Why? Well because I simply expect them to get angry or mad at me or be annoyed at me or things of this nature, if I am even in their presence, let alone actually communicate with them. Because of this perception I had/have towards people, I Always hold-back, and retract myself and never ever communicate with people or strangers, as it is like I expect them to “lash out” So this is one side of it, and I also see a fear of have of the presence of people. What I mean is its like I feared to actually ‘address’ that presence of the being, or bring myself to that level where I am actually communicating with the being as their self presence but rather I would always just speak to them from the perspective of mind/fear, as from a certain perspective I feared actually bringing myself to that point of where I am actually seeing/addressing/experiencing the presence of the being. It is a point of Self Intimacy, and so in seeing this today at the shopping mall, I asked myself; what is it that I am so afraid of as to why I would not ever want to actually stand before a being and actually speak to them like a human being, but always just talk at them reciting pre-programmed phrases but never ever actually communicating anything. It was like I was afraid of actually communicating with them. It was like I was afraid of what the might say or immediately go into defence mode, and stuff like this. I will investigate this point more and see what else comes up. So those were a few points from today.

Put On The BRAKES!!! – Our System is Not Working.

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About a month and a half ago I was driving down the street and noticed a slight ‘wobble’ when I applied my van brakes. It was quite slight so thought I would test it out a bit to see if I was deluding myself or if there was actually something going on here with my brakes – I mean, it could have just been a bumpy road. But over the next few days it was clear that there was something “out” with my brakes and I likely would have to get them checked out. I didn’t have any money at the time, and it was not too noticeable so thought I would continue driving the van and pray to the heavens that the van will miraculously fix itself. Humm or hope for aliens to come and fix my van...lol. Anyways I was definitely in a tight spot because I simply did not have the money to fix the brakes and so I just continued to drive the van with the brakes acting funny. It was not a cool experience as each time I applied the brakes, they would shutter, and make “not cool” noises like grinding etc, and this got worse day by day. And so now to go and drive my van, I like cringe inside myself and spend the whole time attempting to come to rolling stops so that when I apply my brakes my coffee doesn’t spill all over in my cupholder from the “shuddering” of the breaks, making the whole van vibrate. So here is a perfect example of how the current system does not actually support human beings within it, but leave them to fend for themself, and if “something happens” like for instance the brakes going out on your vehicle and you are not in a position to pay for that than basically it is too bad for you! I had also started a new job so was required to drive daily to my job and thus required a dependable vehicle to get from point a to point b. I mean the entire system is designed in many ways where individuals must actually drive to their jobs. So yes, basically this experience has not been a cool one of first noticing the tiny wobble which has now been about 1 and half months ago, to getting to the stage where I took it in to the mechanic to ask questions, because that is all I could do at that stage is ask about it and get a basic price because I just did not have the money to fix it, and then to continue driving around, waiting for my tires to fall off or my brakes to fall off in the middle of driving down the highway, so actually quite of bit inner stress and tension related to this point, which could have been completely eliminated if I simply had money to go in immediately and correct the point. And so now tonight I have phoned a co-worker to ask for a ride to work and I will now have to come up with a temporary solution as fixing my brakes is still even a month away, though it has gotten so bad, that I am no more able to drive my van until I get them brakes fixed. I mean this is serious shit too if you look at it – These are my brakes...You NEED Brakes on your vehicle, so this is a practical safety issue where I am not in a position to direct the point as I do not have sufficient money at the moment, yet “there is nothing I can do” from the perspective of “the system” considering this point in any way and having provisions for such scenarios I mean “who cares if your life or others are at risk” – In our current system - If you don’t have money than Life simply does not matter. So Best to start considering these points of how our current system does not support LIFE but in Fact Values money more than life itself – as shown by the example above (or must I mention those dying by the second due to the neglect of the system and mankind). I mean MONEY should have Absolutely NO say – It is practical common sense that you ensure that each being has effective support in their daily functionality period! This basic consideration has nothing to do with money – Yet we have made it so, and thus we require to change how this system operate to create a system that actually consider life and not money. Within an equal money system this never would have happened. If there was a problem like this that come up, one can go immediately in to fix the point as to ensure that no further consequences occur, like for instance now not even knowing what else is messed up because of driving on bad brakes for 1 month past the point when they should have been already fixed. Our Current System is Simply NOT PRACTICAL. It is not considering all the practical points. So this has been quite an experience for me to see yet another aspect of how our current system is simply NOT WORKING, or looking at the actual practical points to be considered for an actual dignified functional living environment for all and why an Equal Money System will actually transform points like this, so that if anything occur with your vehicle, it is not a matter of money to get it fixed. You will simply be able to immediately get it fixed. The system actually is Holding itself Back, and in fact impedes the expression of those within it, instead of nurturing and supporting ones expression and movement within it. Such a fuck-up is our system. Thus Support an Equal Money System as an equal money system is actually taking into consideration the necessary points to create an environment which will actually be, not only, much more effective and functional but also which supports the expression of the being – I mean, after all, should this not be what life is about? Actually living and expressing ourselves. So what have we created a system that punish us, that stand in our way, that create barriers and limitations and obstacles. Thus we require to take a serious look at this, and also a serious Look at OURSELVES to see what we have accepted life and living to be. I mean afterall we did create this system, thus it is a reflection of ourselves, revealing that it is time to seriously reconsider what we are considering as human beings because what our current system show is that that we are quite delusional if we insist that a persons safety and well being should be dependent on them having money. Thus we must change ourselves and in doing so change the system of abuse which reflect who we actually are and how we actually exist within ourselves. Support Equal Money System as a system which value life, common sense, what is Best for ALL , and the actual dignified effective living of beings.

Assessing Physical Body Tiredness – New Job

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Went to work again today, I have started working at my new job, which is a landscaping job. So there is now an adjustment to my daily living activities, and so, yes, adjusting myself within my practical application from the perspective of now to ensure my “daily desteni duties” get done. While working this job. One of the more prominent adjustments to my life-style is now in relation to doing physical labour during the day, as I have notice the last two nights, my experience of me in relation to my physical body is quite different than before because I have worked physically during the day. And so my body is more tired when getting home and so am looking at this point currently. One aspect I see within this adjustment is to not accept or allow any excuse or justification to “sneak in” within and around this point of my human physical body being tired, and see specifically the difference between the point of my human physical body being tired, and my mind coming in and attempting to influence me within my application where in I will use the excuse that “I am tired” to not direct myself effectively. I have noticed this point already where I can see the mind come up saying “oh I am tired” “you need to rest” and things like this, so the point here is to simply be Self-Honest in the assessment of self in the moment and determine if / when the mind attempt to come in and influence self/me to distract me from my application.

Stop Mediocrity – Stand up For A More Effective Being – Desteni i Process

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Stop Mediocrity - Stand up For A More Effective Being - Desteni i Process I have recently started a new job, and this means that I am now working with other beings. What I observed is that some of the considerations of the job, are...well, not being considered. Since I started walking/participating with Desteni now for some time, this has introduced me to certain ‘considerations’ of this reality that I had not taken into account before. And that I see others simply are completely unaware of. What I see as that these considerations I now look at within certain moments or instances are as such related to my participation with desteni and what desteni stand for, that being, to put it in a single phrase, "what is best for all" Through my participation with desteni I have stopped many of those “small habits”  that are very likely a part of most humans beings general acceptances with regards to who they have become and how they express themselves and live in this world...I mean if everyone else is letting it slide, why not I let it slide to. And slowly but surely we have created, developed, and built ourselves within this world as this world within the point of ‘letting things slide” or “getting to it later” and this has become us to the core where now it is nearly impossible to stop these “little habits” which are in essence a mark of our laziness as a human race which we have accepted and allowed ourselves to stand as. Literally Humanity has really let itself go, and now is standing/applying itself from a certain perspective as the manifestation of Laziness. So I noticed this point coming through at work today where for instance I would observe a co-worker “let something slide” where within myself I see how I used to do the exact same thing, not actually grasping the full scope of what this seemingly innocent act of “letting something slide” is actually implying. So what I was even more seeing here was not that my co-worker was letting something slide, but that, I, WAS NOT letting it slide, and that I simply cannot allow such a point as I see that this is self compromise and me allowing myself to allow another to compromise themselves, rather than taking on the point of Self Perfection, Taking Self Responsibility in this world and creating a new being and and new world that actually care for itself and love thy neighbor. Too long we as humanity have been letting the little things slide. Its like we just, in a single moment, let it happen, and pretend we didn’t see it. Well I work today, I did see it and I refuse to “let it slide” as I Know this road. I have been down that path of letting it slide and I simply cannot accept and allow this from myself any longer as I know what kind of being this creates. And what kind of experience this creates. Rather I push me to instead, stop the excuses and justifications and push self to get it done, and not accept or allow any limitation of self as to why I would not direct that which is required to be directed in the moment as it come up. We require to clean up this mess of a world and it is not ever going to happen if we continuously allow ourselves to cut corners, because this is actually impossible to do. One can only cut corners when it comes to money, and because of this, this has allowed one to believe that they 'escaped' and 'are in the clear', not considering that one is not actually able to cut corners but that there will be a consequence. So when it was time to leave work today, there was still tools that were laying about and my co-worker was eager to get going. I stood looking at all this and could not accept this, yet I see that there is a point of compromise still occurring here where I am not adamant and immediate in directing the point yet but allowing my co-worker to have the benefit of the doubt, or hesitating, and thus see to push myself to that point of immediate direction where I am directing me towards, where in I do NOT accept and allowing myself to stand as anything Less than what I am actually capable of doing, directing and becoming. I also looked at this point as me showing a lack of self value as who I am as a being that is in fact standing as what is best for all and thus accepting nothing less than this and there-in, being certain within my decision making to not allow abuse and self compromise to take place, where in for instance I assert myself and to no more accept and allow myself to hold back or take a more "submissive role", even when I see clearly that to simply accept this other persons way of doing things is effectively compromising myself and another.  So I did see myself pushing this point today of where I allowed myself to push my self-effectiveness and will not simply compromise or diminish myself because "that’s just the way things work" kind of thing. So will continue to do this at work, and rather than reduce myself down to a lesser application to make everyone else 'happy', rather I stand stable within my application and within this push beings to direct themselves more effectively and from my perspective this is actually what real happiness is anyways, where the being experience a certain degree of self confidence that they actually pushed themselves beyond their limitations so to speak. And this is a Life that I would rather Live and thus will live and accept nothing less than this from myself. Its time to stop diminishing myself just to be nice and fit in. This is absolute compromise and a perfect way to allow nothing to ever change. If you are interested in becoming a highly effective being in this world and are tired of the mediocrity and limitation that this world accepts / promotes as who we are – Investigate the “Desteni I Process” And begin the process of the creation of self as a dignified honorable effective being that is actually here supporting life and doing what it is Best for ALL to ensure that all beings are properly cared for and supported equally as the next, so that ALL live a dignified life and not just a few with money. http://desteniiprocess.com/

We Require New Breed of Politicans and World Leaders.

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  I am continuing my investigation into the Canadian Political System, particularly the election process, as I follow the latest election that is underway here in Canada. Today I am going to take a look at a statement made by Liberal Party leader Micheal Ignatieff within his unveiling of what is called “The Learning Passport” which is a proposed program which gives extra funding to those enrolled and who will be enrolling in post secondary education. What I find to be quite interesting as I continue to follow the election is the “short-sightedness” of our political leaders and for that matter the people who are not only going along with this but also cheering their favourite candidate, no matter if what is being presented as ‘solutions’ is nothing more than an attempt to fix or make better our current system but that is in fact missing the point entirely of what is required to actually bring forth an actual permanent change to this world that will support in establishing a management system that support the betterment of man and the well being of all that is here. So to help illustrate this ‘shortsightedness’ that I have been observing within the debates, topics, discussions, policies, of the election thus far I will focus on a statement made by the Leader of the Liberal Party in his unveiling his educational program. I understand that it is not to blame politicians because from a certain perspective they are perhaps making the best out of what they had available to them such as education or family environment or the social system they were raised etc...Though at this point in time it is becoming clear that the world we have created is quite a mess, and we are going to require not just amendments to the current system but rather quite a drastic transformation of what is here in order to bring about a world that is actually dignified and ultimately valid in terms of considering the point of continuing our existence as a race. because I mean at this current rate, I am finding it difficult to justify at all why we are even Here on this planet if all we are going to do is abuse it and abuse ourselves,  and each other. So thus we need to drastically shift our political considerations, which from my perspective will take many years of re-education to effectively detangle from within ourselves the embedded belief systems/strucutres which our current politicians are at the moment acting within and that in fact only cause and create more harm and abuse and inequality within this world. So Liberal Party Leader Micheal Ignatieff stated within his unveiling of the “Learning Passport” that no Canadian should be “denied a world class education in the machine room of the Canadian economy” First of all he is referring to Universities and Colleges as “The Machine Room” which in itself is true to a certain extent as education within Canada has effectively become about preparing individuals to be able to perform very specific/specialized tasks so that when they finish University that they are able to walk out into the world and fill a very specific role within the already existent system. Essentially turning individuals into machines to function within the system. He also mentioned that these Universities are the “Machine room of the Canadian Economy”. Now this is quite a startling implication being made within this above statement by Micheal Ignatieff as within this statement has reduced education to being specifically for the “Canadian Economy”. I have a question. What happen to Life? What happen to Self Expression? Or has our entire Learning/Education process of this world become simply to prepare us to make Money within the system. Which is Exactly what is being implied within such statement as mentioned above, and what is even scarier is that this is being spoken of without him even batting an eye, meaning there is no awareness at all within the being what so ever that his/this ‘view’ of reality is not actually in alignment with actual real life in terms of a Life as that which can be considered in any way Dignified. Nope. Rather What is being implied in this statement that no Canadian should be “denied a world class education in the machine room of the Canadian economy” is that in essence all an education has become in this world is a machine room to create perfect money making machines to support the capitalistic system that we have in place. And let us not forget that this is also being considered to be “World Class” education as well. This is why I support what Desteni Propose as an Equal Money System, because the discussion within and around Desteni and the Equal Money System are more in line with looking at how to create and educational system that if fact support the development of the human being as Life Form in where we are essentially ultimately looking at perfection. The perfection of ourselves as an expression of Life. Not fucking limiting education to that which is designed to create the best money making robots as possible. Why are not political discussions and debates around the point of the perfection of self as Life and how to create a dignified world for all. I much rather participate with that which is aware of what life is actually and this is why I am one vote for an equal money system. Obviously this will take time to bring forth and in the end each one decide for themselves what discussions and debates they see as valid. So if you are interested in bringing forth a world that actually consider its fellow man enough to abolish a capitalistic world system based in greed and put into place a system which give to all equally where all within this system are able to live like millionaires and actually be honoured as life then suggest to check out what Desteni is saying and presenting with an Equal Money System. www.equalmoney.org www.desteni.co.za www.destniiprocess.com

Self-Support To Move From Scattered to Stable

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Self-Support to Move From Scattered to Stable I experienced myself a bit scattered today. This is often actually that I experience myself in this way. I had a few things to do today so this broke up my day and found within my day that I was not able to settle myself effectively and really establish myself Here within what I was doing. So I am looking at this point of how to effectively stabilize myself within my world. The first points which come up are: 1.Stop participating in the mind 2.Stick to simplicity 3.Stick to breath With this first point I see that when I participate in my mind, where in I accept and allow myself to engage within the dialogue in my head, that I am not stable, and that if I were to actually Stop participating within my mind that I would actually be stable within my world, and be here, and be able to effectively assess my world with common sense and direct myself accordingly . So I require to be more effective within this point of “stopping the mind” from the perspective of not engaging with the thoughts, pictures, emotions, voices, debates etc, but assist and support myself to remain Here and not participate with the “Back-Chat” that is the mind. I see that my “Back-Chat” is fucking extensive, My mind is automated literally 24/7 and so if I am not Here and aware in every moment and supporting me to remain HERE and be HERE as myself as silence in each and every moment, Supporting me to exist here where there is no "movement" or "energy fluctuations" then it is the mind that is here as me as thoughts, feelings, emotions, as movements and fluctuations within and as self. Thus I require to ground me. To Earth Myself. So I see I must be more effective in actually supporting me to Stop my mind, and stop engaging in the conversations in my head. Thus to support me,  I simply stop  participating with any voice, and thought, that exist inside me / within my mind, and that I must be ruthless within this, as to not allow myself to trick me into participating within the mind Life for example how “positive thoughts” are fucking deceptive as these generally “feel good” to participate in and “seem harmless” but this is mind as a program and so to participate in these ‘positive thoughts’ one is actually supporting the mind, and in this case enhancing my own instability which I mentioned in the beginning of this post, from the perspective of “feeling scattered” So this is where I am going to start to assist and support myself to re-establish my stability of Self, I am going to push the point of Stopping  Myself from Participating, engaging within conversations, thoughts within my mind. Where as soon as I notice that I am actually existing as a voice in my mind as Back-Chat as thought, and as soon as I notice that I am participating within an energetic fluctuation or movement  within me than I stop immediately, as I realize that this is my mind, and immediately bring myself back here. And within this I focus on simplicity. And use breath as a stability point, by focusing on breath, my breathing,  to assist and support me to remain Here in the physical with and as my physical body, and not "up in there" in my mind.