Ok so this point came up a few days ago about getting a pet bird. I would say this emerged initially when seeing the videos of Gian with his bird on the farm and perceiving that they had a ‘Bond’. I thought that was so cool, and desired to have an experience like that with an animal, like a special intimate Bond.
Then this also again came up when I watched Rozelle’s vlog with the Praying Mantis and was observing that there was actually quite a cool experience that emerged within the point of Rozelle and the Praying Mantis that she came across on the farm.
And also from hearing stories on the desteni farm about all the animals there, and also each time I see someone from desteni post a photo or a picture of their new animal. Getting an animal has “in a way” been a point that I have had to deliberately “hold back” on. I use the phrase “in a way” because I don’t really have to hold back much as the actual practical considerations of getting an animal like say for instance a puppy are simply “too much” at the moment and it is a “no-brainer” So to speak. That it is not practical at the moment for me to get an animal, though have had urges and desires to have one.
There is also the point of me holding off on getting an animal until I have a stable environment for the animal to express themselves and just be safe and stable and comfortable.
I actually had placed this point quite far in the future, for instance getting a dog I do not see as something I would do until I lived out in the country.
One interesting point though that came up within exploring this within myself of getting an animal, or when that might be, is the point of deciding not getting an animal because than I would have to commit to staying in Canada, and I can see that I have/had actually kept a space inside myself of the possibility of at some point in the future going back to visit the desteni farm, and if I were to get an animal that this would “seal my fate” so to speak, likely staying in Canada.
And I mean to lay it out – I see that I actually have/had a desire inside myself to actually go and live on the desteni farm forever – lol – which is funny because I see that this consists of as only a dream as within this desire I am not actually really looking at the real truth of what is here but only looking at the imaginary aspects of my imagined self in the perfect conditions etc…Yet still “holding onto this desire” and allowing it to influence my life, and my day to day activities, in particular in this instance in “getting an animal”
So from a certain perspective me not getting an animal or allowing myself to get an animal is in a way, me holding me back within my world and me not actually expressing myself within my world. Where I am actually deciding to ‘live’ in my world where I currently am, instead of holding back.
Another reason why I have held off getting an animal as I wanted to make sure that I was stable and had some points in place in terms of where I was going to be in the future so to speak. And really up to now, this had not been really clear but more still just taking it one day at a time, and so saw it as unpractical to actually get an animal.
I have never had an animal from the perspective of me being the one responsible for it. I had two lizards when I was young but have not been responsible for an animal since. We always had a family dog growing up and I have spent much time around animals.
Oh we had a cat in this house as well when I moved in where I am now but the cat moved to a different house.
So yes when I watched that video of Gian and the bird and also with talking to Leila about their birds and seeing all the videos and things posted, this urge was coming forward within me to get myself an animal.
So “just as an Idea” which I really don’t think I will do is I started flirting with the idea of getting a bird. One of the main aspects of this that I am looking for, is companionship. And also the opportunity to from a relationship with an animal and have an animal around as a point of self exploration and expansion of self. I mean could be cool.
So I wanted to write some about this point so as to just see what points come up.
So as mentioned there is that point of companionship. Though I see that within this I am actually “wanting a specific thing” from the animal which is based in a feeling and a desire to have an experience that at the moment I am not having.
I want a bird to sit on my shoulder and be my friend, and that I can just talk to and interact with and play with and just have around.
I also see that then I would have to change the way I live and the way I keep my room and keep my physical space. So there is a resistance point here as well in terms of actually having to take care of the bird. And commit myself to walking this point. And so from a certain perspective “giving up my freedom”
What I actually See about an Equal Money System.
How will an Equal Money System Benefit all of Humanity Equally.
I am going to investigate here how an equal money system is in fact and will in fact support ALL beings on earth equally and is not one of those systems that is only attempting to “lessen the gap” between the rich and the poor and not actually taking on the point of “in fact” bringing all to an equal position in this world.
An equal money system is based on an the principle of equality and what is best for all.
And only those involved know within themselves whether or not they are in fact standing as this principle.
I know for myself that I Stand as This Principle from this perspective – I see within myself that the common sense direction to take within this world is to bring forth equality for all. As that is fair. And that it is not acceptable for any beings to suffer while others live in wealth and comfort. Glaringly so with regards to the current world situation and how the suffering of many in this world is in a way “out of their hands” like being born into poverty or a situation where they do not have equal support as others and because of this have a more difficult life in this reality. This should not exist.
I see within myself that I do not want to deliberately harm another and that in fact I would rather have all beings living a cool life, and that for example it would be cool if for example a starving dog in the world could live as I live, meaning have basic survival aspects of life in place so that they to can exist equal to humans within this world where we no longer control animals as pets but live in equality with them and realize that they are beings and have just as much to ‘offer’ and as we do.
I see that I still have allot to learn with regards to how to establish an equal money system and also how to live in this world in a way that is best for all. But I also see within myself that I have no intentions to harm another or abuse or secretly deceive another but that I am in fact interested in bringing forth a world that is fair so that all have the equal opportunity to experience enjoyment within their experience of themselves on this earth. And have equal Support as money and resources which create a stable foundation for each one to live and enjoy themselves on this planet.
This is what is being Proposed in the Equal Money System.
It is not just some system that will try and fix and mend the current system.
Nope.
It is a New System
We should not be afraid to try new things, and to let go of stuff that is not working but is further fucking up this world.
I mean Japan is close to being a ‘Quadrillion’ dollars in debt. All that is talked about today is the increasing debts of the countries. I mean how is it even possible for the entire world to be in debt? And this is the system that we are trying to keep in place?
The foundational all encompassing System of the world is capitalism and profit. The entire world play by these rules.
I mean a browse through the morning newspaper should be enough to see how our current world system is actually NOT WORKING. The News Paper does not bring the News. It is simply an Outflow of the current money system to ensure the flow of money and to keep the current system in in place. It is filled with advertisements to generate money – Every add in the paper is for money only – There is not one that is unconditionally within the consideration of support life actually.
The Equal Money System as being proposed by desteni is the most comprehensive solution that I have found. And its cool because it is not in any way just trying to hold onto or fix the current system. Which is basically what I see with every other ‘proposed solution’ that I have come across.
I cannot convince anyone to be a part of the equal money system development and proposal. Though If I had the power to I would “place it” meaning I see no reason not to. I see no risk (I am not willing to face) in doing so, I see no reason to continue hanging onto this current system and am willing to test out other options, Immediately, as it is becoming more and more clear to me that the system we use to govern our world at the moment is just fucking this planet up and people are fucked up within it. Ok its time to try something new. Obviously. So suggest to investigate www.equalmoney.org and also the “desteni I process” at www.desteniiprocess.com
As this is the platform through which we will be bringing forth this new direction of man. And support ourselves to really start to investigate ourselves and how to bring forth a practical solution that is equal and best for all.
I don’t think its necessary to have to keep animals locked up in cages. I think they would rather live without fences around them. And so an equal money system is a practical placement which will support the bringing forth of a world where all beings have food in their bellies and are full and satisfied, and have shelter and basic support and equal access to education, transportation, etc… actual Equal Human Rights.
www.equalmoney.org
www.desteniiprocess.com
The Manly Man – Self Investigation
So a point that has come up within investigating “job opportunities” is the definition one ‘receives’ within working a particular kind of job within the world.
Now I have been investigating the option of doing graphic design work, because I have the basic foundation to be able to provide this service. Though I have not yet been able to “find the point” within me to really commit to the point from the perspective of “feeling Here” within the point, and stable and satisfied at this direction.
So I have been investigating what is going on here, and why I have not yet been able to find a stable starting point within this, and so looking at “Ok what is up here”
One point that has come up is related to a point of self definition of self in relation to how I perceive and believe and define a “Man” in this world to be, and what “A Man” does, and how a “Man” acts. And how within taking on a point such as graphic design that I would not be able to fulfill this ‘aspect’ of myself, to be “A Man” to experience me as “A Man”. Like for example the “Men” of this reality that are practical and work with their hands and can be relied on and trusted and who are stable and Big and Strong and Manly and Effective within their world, and drive a big strong truck and are real manly worker type men but also strong in business and make money and are stable support in there reality. Like the type of Man that builds a house or Runs their own business.
So when I look at graphic design, I do not see this aspect of “A Manly Man” within it. What I see is a man or person who is artsy, who is a pushover, who is weak, who is flimsy, and not stable or practical. Fuck interesting definition I have given to the type of person who does graphic design.
So I have identified this point which I am getting into now as one of the reasons why I simply have not been able to place myself in the graphic design point. Because I would not be able to fulfill that point which I am experiencing myself as ‘lacking’ which would be the first point described as the typical worker practical stable Man.
When I was on the farm I would experience me as being quite Manly when I was working with Manly tools like hammers and saws and cutting boards and drilling stuff together and lifting heavy things, and mixing cement and digging in the earth – This fulfilled my Manly Definition and so I experienced a point of satisfaction within myself within fulfilling this point. As I was the stable practical man worker. Though at the same time thus was not the entire picture, as at times I felt like I was abandoning my “creative side” like writing and art and information processing.
So from a certain perspective perhaps a point of fulfillment will not be had unless I can find a point which satisfy both of these “sides of self”
Now Also I see that, in fact, these are Definitions given through society and defined within ones mind in terms of who one has accepted and allowed oneself to be.
Is it really necessary to “work a manly job” to fulfill this self definition point or aspect of self which I perceive/experience myself as lacking or not having fulfilled at the moment, or not being encompassed within the point of doing for example graphic design.
Within the context of process and stopping the mind these aspects of self are based in the mind and thus “not real” from a certain perspective.
From Here I see the point in actually looking at this ‘definition’ or ‘aspect’ of self which I have defined as “Manly” for instance and looking at how I have separated myself from this part of me and investigate how to “bring these points back to self” And investigate why I am seeing or believing that to fulfill these points I must “stand at” that point within this world which is defined as “Manly”, and seen by the world as Manly, And is this the only way to ‘amalgamate’ this point into and as myself.
Also to investigate the definition I have placed within graphic design.
So I require to re-look at my definition of Strength also because I am seeing that I have allowed myself to place the point of “strength” into this definition I have described as the “manly man” and that this is what strength is, and so attempt to satisfy my definition of strength by “becoming this point”
I find it odd that I only experience myself as being satisfied and strong and stable and effective if I do ‘those acts’ that create this experience of self. And how within doing something like “graphic design” that point of strength is simply not there.
Like for instance doing Snow Removal satisfy some of the elements of this point within me. Its like the point of “wanting to feel like a man” and experience me as worthy within this and strong, like a tree.
Though being completely linked to definitions of gender and roles within society and personalities. Fuck.
Ok so will continue to investigate this point.
Lol – Interesting the Greek Meaning for the Name ANDREW is MANLY
Opening Up a Reaction To SRA – Daily Blogging.
Ok so a point came up today when listening to one of the latest points with regards to the direction of SRA and Desteni I Process.
The point was that some of the ‘groups’ would be now “going back” to do Mind Constructs for another 6 months! I emphasise this as 6 months I see as quite a long time.
And also the option was open for anyone really who wants to go back and do Mind Constructs for another 6 months.
So I reacted to this point as follows.
As I was not clear whether my group was required to go back or not I then saw that this would then be a decision that I would make from the perspective of being self-honest within the point and going back to do another 6 months of Mind Constructs so that I can effectively prepare myself to be and effective buddy where I am able to effectively support another through walking with them through their mind constructs from beginning to end.
I see that I want to be effective with this point, and to have a solid foundation and understanding of doing Mind Constructs.
So from this perspective yes of course it would be a cool support to do another 6 months of mind constructs.
Initially I thought everybody would be stopping and doing the 6 months of mind constructs which was cool. I was fine with this.
Though it turns out that some of the groups in SRA that are further ahead will simply continue on as usual. So when hearing this I had a reaction.
The point initially I see is in relation to “falling behind” and that those that are “further ahead” are “more advanced” and are thus “from my perspective” “not equal” meaning they have an advantage in understanding the material. And so here a point of comparison is coming up where I “want to be the best” where I “want to be ahead with the advanced group” why? Because I perceive that they are getting “more support” and thus will Self-Realize quicker. Or just overall, more effective and aware and directive in process. So I see that within this point I am “wanting support” as one of the “Key reactive points” was this point of them getting “more support”
Ok so am seeing a point of inferiority here as well, where I am seeing myself as “less-than” those that are able to move on and keep working on SRA. Particularly working with Resonances.
I have been wanting to start working with the Resonances because the support one receive through this process is always very cool, though my starting point for ‘Wanting’ this is simply just that – It is “A Want” where in I am limiting myself by “holding myself down” from the perspective of “wanting to, or waiting for” the Resonances to “tell me what is going on with me” and that I perceive that I can get ‘better assistance’ from than, than I can give to myself.
I also see here the correction which is simply pushing myself to support myself and push me to go deeper and deeper into self and will myself into and effective application of self support and self investigation where I direct myself to uncover me and no more accept and allow myself “wait around” for Bernard or Resonances to “give direction” from the perspective of placing these two points in my world as “the ultimate points” and there in accepting and allowing myself to stand “less than” these two points, instead of me simply “walking into the unknown” where I push and develop ways to support me that I have not yet explored, where in I actually really investigate me, and get to know myself, and realize that I am able to actually effectively support myself with just me alone though my own self directed self willed application.
This Reaction I Had was also in relation to “my ability” to do Muscle Communication, and I can see also that I ran into a bit of a snag with the last few points on my most recent SRA lessons with Leila as my buddy, and so went into a point of fearing, when hearing this point today, that I am not effective enough in Muscle Communication and thus I would be “held back” and go back and do the 6 months of Mind Constructs.
I also “see myself” as ‘struggling’ with the Resonance Work, like “my foundation” is not stable, so here am actually seeing me in the future on chat with resonances and them asking me to test a point and I “am lost” Ok so seeing a memory here now wanting to emerge out of the darkness about school. Like the experience one have in school where you simply do not know the answers, and are left “feeling lost” and have no grounding. And so in this Future Projection I am on chat with resonances and they are asking me to test some information and I am struggling and fumbling and it is clear that I am not prepared and they are waiting for me but seeing that I am “just trying to keep up” and not effectively prepared. Shit this is quite a specific projection, though am not seeing a specific memory that this related to, simply the ‘general memory’ of how this “type of experience” would be one that one would have in school or something like this. Though also seeing a point of “Hockey” coming up here, where I used to go to Hockey Schools and Camps, and some of them were “more competitive” and really preparing you to play in competitive hockey and so I would “step into these” scenarios where I felt a bit “out of place” as everything was moving so fast and I was there “just trying to keep up” and so there was always allot happening on the ice, and players going everywhere and coaches shouting out orders, and particularly if this was a “new team” or “situation” I would really have to focus on ensuring that I “understood” each point clearly, as the coaches made it clear that if you do not understand how to do the drill – Don’t Go! And this meant you go to the back of the line and basically get a “black mark” on your name as they see you “did not understand what they say” Fuck this was a pressure cooker experience. And so you would watch the players ahead of you run through the drill, and you would focus intently on them and observe what you were supposed to do, and then it was your turn and Fuck you better get it right, and so the drill would begin and you (I) would “give it my all” as often you were doing tryouts, or even just “trying out” all the time, as to “earn more ice time” or when I would be “trying to make a team” Quite a stressful experience.
So this projection of me with resonances on chat is similar to this Hockey Experience, where I see me on chat and experience myself to “have lost it” meaning just can’t get a grasp on anything, and experiencing me as not having a handle on the information and also see the point of “letting them down” when there is that moment where they realize that “I am out of my league”
Ok this phrase is specific here this being “out of my league” as this definitely bring up the point of inferiority and just not being good enough.
Ok so the point coming through here is “Not being good enough” though I will explore now some other aspects of my reaction to this point of now the point being open of “going back to do 6 months of mind constructs”
I am seeing myself as unworthy in Muscle Communication, and thus also in process, as the point with MC simply indicate that I am “missing some points” and that this will cause me to “fall back” into my “rightful place” – So here again the point of inferiority.
What is interesting also is wanting to be up with the advanced group, wanting to be in the “in crowd” wanting to be ahead of the game and leading, but specifically this point of wanting to in the “in crowd”
Its like the point of starting out with a group of people and then you all walk together, and as you walk the “group separates” and starts to split up based on skill and potential and ability, and I end up “falling back” based on my skill and get separated from “my friends”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reaction with regards to the new SRA course structure.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “not know” what I should do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “exist within a state of doubt and uncertainty” by allowing myself to exist within a point of “not knowing”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I really “do not know”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and define myself according to where I am in my SRA course, and within doing this “make decisions” based on strengthening my personality which I have created as “who I am within how I have defined me within my SRA course” instead of making a decision that is based on actual practical self support and doing what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going back and doing 6 month of Mind Constructs, as I fear getting stuck behind.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as superior to others who are further back in SRA.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “lock into” my personality, instead of stopping all personality and ego, and remaining here as breath as Self Support.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught up in personalities within supporting me and in doing this “forget about me” altogether and never actually get to a place of me as the starting point of my direction within self support.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “lock into” a point of fear with regards to me not being prepared for the next Resonance section of SRA.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based my decisions, and make my decisions from a point of energy and reaction, instead of from a point of self honesty and self support where I allocate myself within the equation and simply look at the common sense of the point and what would be most effective as a point of support. It is not about “who your friends are”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to determine and define my application in relation to “whos around me” which is indicating that I am not yet standing equal to each and every one in process and more specifically I am not yet standing as the starting point of my world where it does not matter where I am, but that I am constant, consistent, the same in my application in each and every point that I stand.
Thus I see this point of me being the starting point of myself within process, within my application, and within self support, where it does not matter where I am, and who I am with, as I support me the same where ever I am and not longer accept and allow me to limit me within my self support from the perspective of believing that I must be in “advanced groups” to have effective self support but rather it does not matter where I am within what group or what level, I decide that I am the director of me and that I support me effectively and do not accept me to limit my potential self support, and thus from this perspective I am always the source of how effective I am within process, not who is around me or supporting me.
This is actually a cool point that is emerging and that has been coming up over the last few days, where I am starting to see the point of not limiting myself in “what I am capable in” meaning “I take the reins” so to speak, and start pushing myself to support myself and expand my application, and ways I support me. And push me to become more specific in how I support me, and as well in my writing.
No one is going to walk process for us. We must walk process, and we are the ones that determine “the pace” we move, though I do not see it as a point of rushing, but rather a point of inevitability where one will decide to be more effective within application, and that “this decision” can be done now or later.
Ok slowing down a bit here, I really “rattled through” that mid section.
Ok so I did react to this SRA point.
I was even discussing this point with Marlen on Chat and experienced my writing to immediately tense up, as I tensed up inside and became more ridged which I identified as a point of “Mind” as I started to explain and talk about the SRA Re-structuring. And how I “did not know what I would do”
I want to simply continue on as is. Particularly because now I have just started into doing more MC and see this as a point which I would simply like to direct. I have struggled with this point of MC and so am finding within the new lessons that because there is much MC going on that it is a cool platform for me to actually stabilize the point. And so from this perspective would like to continue moving with the lessons where I am now. On the other hand, 6 months of Mind Constructs would be fucking awesome, though I see that I would still not be directing this point of MC which is “the point” so to speak, which I would like to direct, and am in the process of doing so.
Birthing Life From The Physical – “Desteni I Process”
Quite cool to see this “physical point” coming through at the moment with regards to ‘process’ and what it means to “Birth Life From the Physical” and the realization that ‘Self’, that ‘I’, have actually never or “missed the point” of living here as the physical, but since birth have been slowly but surely “becoming a mind” and living and exiting as that mind “in separation” from the physical, forming ideas, perceptions, beliefs, which I then ‘superimposed’ on top of the physical, until I no longer experienced the physical or considered the physical, or see the physical anymore but only see the ‘Mind’ which I have superimposed onto the physical.
What I see in terms of “Birthing Oneself From the Physical” is to stop “the mind” to “get out of the mind” to “step out of the mind and into the physical” where in my ‘ideas’, ‘definitions’, ‘perceptions’ of ‘myself’ which I lived and experienced within and as the mind will “no longer be” but rather I stand here equal and one with the physical, where my daily actions and considerations and experience will be in relation to and equal and one with “the physical” as I now am standing and exiting as the physical. And Have Birthed Myself From / as the Physical.
Looking at the point of the “Physical Body” – It is physical, and functions in direct relationship to the physical and the “rules of the physical” so to speak. But I have lost touch with “these rules” these ‘Relationships’ “of the physical” that “make up” the movement, and expansion , and expression of the physical.
Because I have not stood equal to the physical, or lived as the physical in stepping out of the mind to live equal and one as the physical, I had not been able to see or understand the “relationships of the physical” I have not been able to understand, to see how “my actions” ‘affect’ the physical, ‘flow’ in the physical, where each action, flow out into the physical, ripple out into the physical as the actual “chain-reaction of the physical” affecting and influencing the physical.
In this World, not all parts of the physical are being nourished or supported as can be seen by war, by poverty, by some points having “it all” and other points “Having nothing” (Rich/Poor)
Thus I see “the point” is to Birth Oneself Into and As the Physical, so that we can see how our actions “flow-out” and “ripple-out” as the actual “chain-reaction” of the physical and influence and affect the physical, this world, the conditions of this world, where they either “flow-out” and cause poverty for instance, or “flow-out” and support the nourishment of ALL.
I see this as a Solution to this world. To become aware of how our actions affect one another, and consider that our every action in every moment is in “cause and affect” as the physical “flowing-out” at all times and permeating out into the physical and having a consequence in this reality. Even the most seemingly small and insignificant moments are “flowing-out” into the physical. Are ‘creating’ this reality.
Thus to assist and support yourself to actually become “Self-Aware” where one begin to ‘Direct’ ones actions in each and every moment to ‘ensure’ the “flow-out” or “Out-Flow” of those actions are ‘Directed’ by Self within Awareness, in consideration of the physical, into a point which support what is best for all. And not more existing here in the physical as “a mind” who’s ‘actions’ are ‘based’ in the mind, and thus not actually considering or is able to see the eventual physical outflow of those actions. Investigate the “Desteni I Process” as the “Desteni I Process” is a structural platform to assist and support self to actually “step out” of the mind and into “the physical” so that one is actually aware of how one “affect and create this reality” and thus is able to “take responsibility” for what is Here as what we have created as this earth, this planet, and Direct Oneself to Bring a Dignified to ALL.
Visit the “Desteni I Process” website : http://www.desteniiprocess.com/
Exploring the point of Anger (Andrew) in Relation to Practical Labour.
Part 1 – Getting a Weekly Allowance – Preparing me to Accept the Current Money System
Ok so as a kid, we were expected to do ‘chores’ when we reached a certain age. And I mean, they were exactly that ‘Chores’. They were a ‘chore’ a ‘labour’ to do, and see that at this young age I began developing my relationship with ‘practical labour’ within starting the process of doing chores.
One also as a kid is expected to clean up after oneself where in if you play and make a mess, you cannot simply leave it and let someone else clean it up. So from this perspective I understood why I had to clean up after myself. Though I still see I did enjoy playing more than cleaning up after myself. Though in terms of more prominent memories in relation to this point of how and where I developed my relationship with ‘practical labour’ into a point where now I experience much resistance and anger and energy within and around when facing this aspect of my life.
We started getting an allowance in my family around the age of 5 or 6 years of age if remember correctly. My brother and I got paid the same amount even though he was one year older. We would get paid weekly and therefore had “weekly chores” some that I can remember is “doing the dishes” and “filling the wood-box” I think we would alternate weekly or daily tasks if I can remember correctly.
So we would do the chores and get the money at the end of the week. Of course only if we were ‘good’ Thus here already at such a young age money was being used to manipulate our behaviour where in money became a consideration of why we would act a certain way and do certain things. This was not based on ‘understanding’ but where money “stood in the place” of understanding and was the reason and motivation why we would have “good behaviour” and direct ourselves in doing chores. Then we would get the weekly prize or money, and with this we would “have access” to things that we wanted, like candy and toys and comics.
You have to ‘be good’ or you don’t get your ‘allowance’ as it was called. Which implied that whether something was ‘fair’ or “not fair”, was irrelevant – you simply were required to act in accordance to, or simply ‘allow’ “that something” to exist in your world whether fair or not, and “not cry” or make a fuss about it, thus you would get your ‘allowance money’ at the end of the week, for allowing such an atrocity implemented on humanity. Here being trained to allow the unjust abuse of this world like rape, murder, war, and overall inequality and not “make a fuss” about it, but rather “be good” as to get your weekly paycheck. Fascinating. I’m certain my parents did not actually see this point when giving us allowance as it is such an accepted point of normalcy within this reality.
The amount of our allowance would increase as we got older, slowly but surely, though was not “allot”,at least it was something, as most kids around my age got an allowance, some more than me and my brother and some less.
That was my “introduction” to the function and role of money. As we got a little older, we were “more expected” now to do the chores and as the allowance increased so did the amount of chores and responsibility. Interesting what was busy happening here is that my brother and me were within this process being ‘trained’ so to speak “how money worked” and “how it relates to practical reality” Though this being based particularly on “My Parents” understanding/beliefs of how money they were taught and works. And so as mentioned – as the money increased so did the amount of work that we required to do, to ‘earn’ this money. Though this is not actually how the money system currently worked. None the less, this was our training within it, which is effectively “perfect training” to create perfect slaves to the system who believe that “making ‘more’ money” is actually linked to “working harder”. I have to note here as well that this specific relationship with regards to how hard one have to work to get “a dollar” was ultimately being determined here early on in my childhood based on “how much money my parents” could afford to pay us kids. So here I learned if I work for one hour, I get ‘this much’ money. And so imprinted this point within me in terms of “how money works and functions” and how much one must work to “earn a dollar.
My parents did not even have to pay us actually, though it definitely worked as a good manipulation tool to get is to work and us “not putting up a fuss” So here rather than take the time to place sufficient understanding of why one is required to practical work in the physical to do chores, the money system was promptly brought into use as this was “easier” perhaps to get us to do stuff without “making a fuss”
So within this process of getting an allowance we were being trained, to function and exist in relation to money, instead of, in relation to a point of understanding how reality actually practically function. Thus when we come of age have been already imprinted and ultimately have unconsciously accepted the point of how money operate and how we are to get it and what we are supposed to do to get it. Which is “work really hard”, “be good”, “don’t make a fuss”, “you get more if you work more”, “you get more when your older”. And so this is points which I have placed as constructs within my belief system of how money works
I also see the point of “wanting the allowance” as that meant I could buy why I want, like by candy and comics and stuff, where these points where from a certain perspective ‘not available’ to me and my brother unless we had money, after all we were/are living in a world with a money system that requires to you have money to “get what you want” So here also we were imprinted in terms of how this point works, and I see clearly how “I liked getting money”, how I made the connection “on my own” which is, “if I get money I can buy what I want”. Subsequently I submitted and accepted this “allowance system” as I had no other way to “get money” to buy candy and comics and things that I wanted. I had no power at all. All the power was in the hands of my parents. And so I accepted that this is how reality works. I accepted that some things “were out of reach” unless you had money. I did not realize that this “perception/idea/belief was simply manmade and an out flow of the current money system. This is not how reality actually work – this is how the money system works. Which I ‘mistook’ and eventually accepted as ‘reality’.
In this system All the power is in the hands of the parents. I mean just because I am/was young, and a kid, does not mean my wants, needs, and desires, are any different than an adults.
Although this is exactly what was being implied within the allowance and money system in parents being the ones who ‘decide’ what is best for their child.
The only real difference between the “want for luxuries” of a child and the “want for luxuries” of an adult. Is a child has no way of “fulfilling these points” as in my case, I did not have any money. Where Parents have all the control and power and could simply buy treats for themselves when ever they desired to. So instead of giving us equal power as a birth right though giving us a “basic income” they “made us work for it” and “played god” and if we did not work “we did not get the money. Who knows if I would have ate to much candy without my parents to “regulate the point” though I am simply illustrating the nature of how “the current money system” was being already implemented into child at such a young age.
Fucking fascinating to see how even at this stage, the point of “scarcity” is being imprinted into a child. Rather than a point of Equality as Such is being introduced by Desteni as the “Equal Money System” So that all children will have access to candy and comics – lol. Well, meaning, the point of ‘depravity’ will not exist how I experienced it as a kid of not having access to of being deprived of those points which I desired and wanted which I clearly observed my parents had access to and fulfilled – That’s not fair.
I mean it sucked as a kid not being able to get treats when you went to the store. Always haveing to ask and like being a slave to your parents where they had all the power. I certainly did not! enjoy this. I felt so trapped, like there was nothing I could do and that this is how it worked. If your parents said no, that was it. It was final. Fuck, no candy or toys for me. So had to submit to the money/allowance system to get money which equalled getting candy, toys, comics. So I can see a point of anger here in terms of “this system” being angry at why I had to always ask if I could get candy or toys, and never could just get what I wanted. And that, which I will go into next, how I was ‘introduced’ into working for money, to be able to buy that which I wanted.
Its interesting because the allowance we got existed as a kind of “separate dimension” from practical reality, and it totally fucks with a being because, on the one hand, one understand that “you have to clean up after yourself” though on the other hand “here is a system that is being introduced and ‘implemented’ within your world that effectively “say’s the opposite” Where the rules are not the same as what you common senseically understand. So slowly but surely ones common sense is supplanted with the ‘rules’ of money, as one is ‘ripped away’ from practical reality to now function within this world in relation to and within the rules of money, which say, presents you with “an award” for what you would have done anyways, until eventually you stop directing yourself within common sense, unless the reward is given, because one find out that without the reward, one is not able to “move or function in this world” This system is obviously stupid. Coercing one to eventually give up common sense practical application in place of only directing oneself in that where one get the reward of money.
Ok so next point I will explore is some of the specific practical jobs I was required to do growing up and continue to investigate this point of Anger in relation to doing “practical labour”
Writing Self Forgiveness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about what I do as a profession worrying that I might do something where I end up only playing a marginal role in process and then experience regret for not taking the opportunity to really push myself to stand within a pivotal role in process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hopeless in my application from the perspective of believing that what ever I do it will never be enough as I am already to messed up.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because I am walking this process alone that I am not able to to effectively education and will myself to direct me into perfection within this process.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to “be something” in process instead of just honouring life and ensuring that I treat all beings equal at all times and do what is best for all life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place “what I do in process” as more important than ensuring that I create myself as a being that honor all life and all beings equal in every moment, and that I do not harm or abuse life, but support life and nurture life to express itself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to “be important” in process, instead of just ensuring that I am actually honouring life in fact, and actually expressing myself in alignment with life and what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself worry or fear that I am not doing good enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear falling behind in process.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “let-up” on myself when “things get quite” instead of finding that point of self motivation, and self perfection within self where I will me for me as life as the perfection of life as equality and oneness and push myself in each and every moment into that point of perfection which is what is best for all and equality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give-up on myself and think “its no use”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself and think “its not use” and that “I am not getting anywhere”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed laziness within and as me to direct me, and within this I “give into laziness” and not direct me here to direct me to apply myself effectively in self specificity and self direction in what is best for all, and not accept any excuse, reason or justification to “give-in” and go into a point of felling “its not use”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within a point of “its no use” as within participating and believing this point I am indicating to self that I have already accepted me to “give into the mind” and give into “Me” from the perspective of who I have accepted and allowed Myself to create ME as.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my directive power to my mind, and to my past.
I forgive myself for not allowing me to will me into existence from the perspective of willing me to transform myself and transform the nature of myself through supporting me through writing myself and investigating myself in writing so I can see actually the depth of me and how I am operating inside me deep within me that I have not seen and looked at before.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stay on the surface of me instead of pushing me to write into me and see the layers of self.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept me as limited through in accepting resistance as valid.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give-in automatically to “energy” for example when I point of resistance which is a form of energy come up that I ‘obey’ or am ‘influenced’ by that ‘resistance’ or energy to direct, or act a certain way, instead of me deciding what I am going to do and doing it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into to tiredness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into routine
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into feelings
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only read things half way and not diligently read everyword.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to glaze over 100 things, instead of just reading 1 thing properly, effectively and exact.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to race through my day and all the stuff I have to do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must “be somewhere” and so race through my application each day, and in this actually “miss my application all together”
I forgive myself for not allowing me to slow myself down within my application and actually write out points in detail and specifically instead of writing about 100 points generally.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to push myself in writing but simply say “that I am effective enough”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not able to open points on my own.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only get so far with points on my own.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is only so far someone can go and that I am not able to push myself beyond this point, and within this I forgive myself for not allowing me to and supporting me to push through my limitations and let go of beliefs I have about what is and what is not possible or most likely true.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I will push me too hard of I try and push myself in writing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge graphic design as being less than law
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within going into graphic design and being insignificant
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience hatred inside me for “seeing me as useless” from the perspective of going into a point that is seen or considered to be insignificant in process by others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project hatred, anger and frustration onto others which I have created inside of me in my past.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than others based grades one get in school.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at those with money who are working in the system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to those that have a stable job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write self forgiveness so that others will read it and think oh cool, instead of writing self forgiveness that actually support self here in the moment to investigate and open self up to reveal self to self
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of doing logo design stuff
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and define me as weak for going into graphic design.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that I have cool place in process, and hope with all my might, instead of realizing that this process is a self directed process and dependant on how I direct me within my world, not how process direct me. Thus I direct me and experience the outcome of that process.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to trust my own decisions and thus believe that I must work in the system for someone else.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see graphic design as an insignificant role in process as the key point is law as this is where decisions are made.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the energy or feeling of wanting to quit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop doing something based on an energetic feeling that I get to “want to stop now” and within this I forgive myself that I never push myself beyond this point of wanting to stop.
I forgive myself for not allowing me to realize that to change self will not be a “comfortable transition” but rather “uncomfortable” as one push and will oneself to change who one is as how one participate within this reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my self motivation from the perspective of already placing a limitation or cap on my motivation from the perspective of how “it normally works” instead of me directing me as self motivation as self will as self movement as a point of self moving self.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am dumb
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others believing that I am dumb
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being dumb
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react when I read the new SRA lesson where in I believed that I was dumb and went into a reaction of fear of Not being able to comprehend the material which meant that I was not smart enough and am now falling behind and just don’t have what it takes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I just don’t have what it takes in this process, and because of this will always just be a marginalized ‘middlegrounder’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not have enough will for this process
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not have enough motivation for this process
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a constant state of fear of falling behind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my anger and frustration I have an experience within self at “being ineffective within expressing me and opening up points” onto others.
Support Point for Not Knowing What to Write – Unconditional Self Forgiveness
Support Point for Not Knowing What to Write – Unconditional Self Forgiveness
Ok going to give some notes Here – This was over a year ago and I think I was back in Canada from the farm or maybe about to go there for the first time. I was participating on the forums and writing Self Forgiveness and writing and basically what we are all still doing now.
Anyways I noticed for about a period of a week or two Cerise started to post SF on her thread on the forum. She did not post a whole lot, though for this period she starting posting SF. Now what was cool about this SF that I observed is that it had “no structure” so to speak. Meaning from what I saw it looked like she just basically made a point to write “Unconditional Self Forgiveness” Its like letting go of all the self judgement and worry of how things are supposed to be and just fucking writing self forgiveness. So was a very cool supportive point for me at the time.
I immediately took that point on myself and have been utilizing this ever since and have found it to “come in handy” as a practical support method to support oneself when they are not sure what to write or how to do it.
I have found when I am ‘stuck’ I allow myself to write unconditional SF, where I just start writing it as a point of realizing OK, I feel stuck or am not sure what to do here, and so just “Write Unconditionally” And really let myself write what ever comes up, just start forgiving points, and not worry or judge it, just write anything really that comes up in that moment.
Obviously it is cool to develop ways to support self within effectively structuring your SF as well, though at times sometimes one just require to write and to let it out. So it is in times like this that I apply this method of writing unconditional SF.
Unconditional Self Forgiveness In the Moment
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “get stuck” in my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back writing self forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want everything to be perfect without allowing myself to walk the necessary steps of Living perfection into existence.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as being ineffective within my process within my ability to structure my writing and vlogging and basically information processing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I do not effectively understand the new desteni lessons for SRA
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and worry and fear in the hidden corners of myself where I suppress this experience of self as it takes place hidden under much stuff so do not even realize it is happening.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop directing myself witin a structured directed way within using the excuse that I am tired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there must always be something going on, instead of allowing myself to just be here and breathe when things slow down.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to base my application of the “results I get” instead of establishing a more consistent application of self where I am HERE in every moment within self specificity in every moment where in I am HERE with and as self.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not doing any SRA today.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking about “what I am doing” out of fear it will not happen.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the nature of me to simply remain as it is and not actually take on any points or take on the nature of me in fact where I actually take apart the nature of me and change myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within sexuality from the perspective of participating within the point of sexual energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify accessing sexual energy.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to just stand here as self as breath when the moments come up where I see a point of “sexual energy” which is triggered which I can participate in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must or have to for some reason continue participating within this kind of energy, instead of standing firmly on this point of Not accepting and allowing myself to participate within this point of sexual energy in any way shape or form from the perspective of me actually now taking this point on at its core root where In I am taking on this point as a manifested point as the nature of myself, and in order to actually “take the point out” I must take it on absolute, taking into consideration all parts of this system manifestation of self and Stop my participating within sexual energy.
Thus when I encounter a moment where a sexual energetic point moves within me, I realize exactly what it is and I stop. I do not go there, as I see to “go there” is in fact a deliberate act. I stop, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to this energy that stirs within me, and I allow me to release the point, and to release the desire to participate with this energy.
If I do not stop this point within me, it will never stop by itself but always reoccur and exist as me, thus the effectiveness of my stopping and disentangling myself from this point and taking it out is dependent on my application. No one else determine the experience of me in process but me. No one else determine what I can see and what I can not but me. If I do not push self specificity of self, no one will.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate the point of self specificity to others, where in I wanted others to support me to become more specific with me instead of realizing that this is ‘impossible’ from a certain perspective and that I am the one who actually determine everything about my application.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from specificity
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away my power and abdicate my power as specificity where in I did not realizing it was/is up to me to determine for myself my experience within this process.
I forgive myself for not realizing that it is up to me to determine my own experience, my own standing and my own specificity in process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my mind in my world instead of me directing myself and there in when I direct me become more specific with me in my world.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by boredom instead of me determining my direction in every moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed energy to direct me which is in fact the patterns of self as the nature of self – It is me as how I have programmed me and to allow that point of ‘energy’ or ‘mind’ or ‘patterns’ to direct me, I will never get specific with self within this process, and I will never change, thus I realize that my effectiveness within this process is in my will to Stop the Mind, and no more accept and allow myself to just exist as a fucking robot who never changes. Yes it will take hard work and me to push through resistance, as I push through the accepted nature and existence as me and re-form me into Life, into a self empowered, self directed point of life expressing itself as life as what is best for all life.
Desteni Blogs – Life Support Network
I have not had much to write about of late. My world as been pretty ‘normal’ so to speak. Still seeing the point of how so many people resist desteni or classify it as “a weird cult” or something like this. I share desteni videos on my profile and so basically anyone who is friends with me on facebook has access to what I place as well as my blog. I sometimes think “How I will make it in this world” from the perspective of participating with Desteni. I know many have a fear around this point as well who participate with desteni from the perspective of having there “desteni world” and having there “real world” so to classify it.
I sometimes think what my co-workers would think of me if they found some of my posts on facebook. I mean everyone that lives in this world, lives in this world, and desteni challenge that. I even doubt I could sit down and have a conversation with my roommates about this. So in a way I am here in this world, participating though its like I have a secret identity, or still have two worlds that I live in.
So the desteni network on the internet is cool, and find the vlogs and blogs and videos etc very supportive. The point with blogging which has recently opened up on facebook has been so cool. It is like my favourite point at the moment you could say to log onto the network blog and have all these posts of people sharing themselves who are walking with desteni – Really Fucking Cool. Its like the “fountain of Life” the pool of blogs all linked within facebook, so starting to get a good view of how this network will actually function on a larger scale and the kind of support it will provide for beings.
I see that I have a doubt inside with regards to starting a business doing Logo Designs for Companies. I have attempted to actually write about this point a few times but the writing just did not sit right, like there was something off about it.
Its like I am trying to convince myself that it is the right or wrong thing to do, instead of just stopping the morality and doing it. Basically, this is where my skill and training has been, so use where I am effective to support me.
I want to right about this point of doing Logo Design because this is what is “occupying me” at the moment in my world, but hold back in expressing myself within writing about his point. Basically I have been over the last couple days investigating “what name” to go with for the company. Then from there I will I design a logo, though basically the starting point is finding a name. I have lots of “ideas” about what I would like to do with the company though at the moment just keeping it as simple as possible, and get the necessary points sorted out to be able to place it on the net and get some feedback.
I had initially started to place this point about a month or two ago, but It was too complicated, so have decided to cut out all the excess stuff and just go with the basic simplicity of doing Logo Designs.
So have explored “what angle” to go with to be able to land customers. I Initially was looking at using and animal in the name which I will continue exploring as I have now gone through nearly 200 names and nothing is yet sticking.
So the point is definitely not falling into my lap, but really having to push it to get it moving.
Decisions in Jobs and SRA Experiences /Insights
I got up early this morning to shovel snow. I enjoyed the experience as there was not a whole lot of snow, so could just move in breath and still be done working at a early hour. The whole process this morning took me 4 hours.
I mostly experience me more effective in my day when I wake up to do snow removal and noticed that I have not yet established within me an effective platform/structure to be effective when I “don’t have work” where for instance I would allow distractions instead of directing myself.
I have spend some time the last few days finding a name so that I can start doing Logo Designs which I will use the name to operate with. I experienced allot of uncertainty in moving this point, partly because I have tried this point previously (graphic design) but reached a point where I “gave up on it” because it just did not seem to flow. But the point had still remained in the background which was then “opened up” again when I got an e-mail from a person who I had started doing some T-Shirt Designs for. She had not e-mailed for a while so was not sure of the status of everything, but it turns out she like the Logos / Designs I had done and wanted to do more, and so when this happened the point kind of opened up again.
I experience like a blackness, which I have described as a black wall in relation to this point. When I mentioned this point it struck me that this means that the point is not programmed in my life and that I actually have to create the point myself, as I experience like a black wall before me when ever I would give direction to this point, where In I had to push to make the thing move.
So I am taking this point on again, though from a slightly different angle. I am simplifying everything and just going for Logo Design, instead of trying to start with “offering everything” I think I will have more success this way as I can focus my words more specifically and really just not over complicate things.
I have experienced doubt in relation to this point, as it has not moved as quickly as the snow removal point. And because of this doubt creeps in like I am “doing the wrong thing” or something. Though also see point of being patient with me and not expecting this to just instantly work overnight, even though the snow removal point moves right away. I mean perhaps not everything works and functions in exactly the same way so have to consider this point and allow me to be patient here. I mean I could give up on this point right now, and “never know” if it would have worked or not. The same thing was with the Snow Removal. I simply “did not know” if it would work or not. So decided to practically move the point in the physical to see rather than just assume. So what I am finding with this logo point is that it may not be as simple to “set-up” or get moving, but that simply could just mean it will take a little longer to start moving. I called this guy up today that I had planned to meet for a job interview where I was going to start doing furniture assembly for him. I called him to cancel the point and rather use that time to develop the Logo point.
I am satisfied with this.
I could see that I was unnecessarily taking on too many points at once and could see that I would have to really divide my time up between what I was going to do for him and the snow removal point and in the end decided it would be better if I simply focus on the snow removal point and refine and expand this and get specific here first, instead of doing something else and not giving it the attention it requires to function effectively.
Today I was at the bank cashing a cheque and the cashier asked me if I did snow removal as my business, I was afraid to tell the truth because I did not know “what kind of power she had” so I said I was not really doing it as a business. I did not want her to “shut me down” or find out that I need some papers that I don’t have. I do not require a licence to run the snow removal though I am pretty sure I need a permit. Though did not have enough money initially to get one.
Basically I look at it like this. The system as lied to me for my entire life, and I attempted to do the right thing and be a good citizen and play by the rules, and the system just fucked me completely. So Now I do not play by the rules. I actually am more willing to lie straight to someone’s face who represents a point in the system that I require to “get through” where before I would have surely told the truth like a good citizen and would have gotten fucked by it. Obviously the point is to get the necessary points so that everything is legit, but I mean the system looks for ways to fuck you at every turn…so basically have realized the double standard ways of the system which eventually will catch up the system when people start realizing and catching onto this. I will do what I have to do to make the points work. I am not longer here to support the system, I am here to do what is necessary to support me within this world and bring forth a new system of equality that actually support its citizens.
Oh ya…the bank lady as it turns out was more interested in actually hiring someone to help her with her snow, though I missed that opportunity as I was afraid that I would get caught in running a business without the proper permitting and have to pay money or something.
Ok, otherwise my experience of late…I am Ok, but I mean I am always OK. I have been enjoying my SRA experiences of late and how SRA, really push one to become specific with oneself, after all once is communication with their body, and I mean within doing this, your specificity will determine the outcome. So have been exploring Muscle Communication with SRA, and pushing myself “out of arbitrariness” and “into specificity”.
I mean I found I experienced myself as “lost” much within doing Muscle Communication, and noticed an interesting thing. I am the only one Here. So then this experience of me being lost, who is responsible but Me. So in seeing this I realized that I must become more specific with myself in SRA and in a way if I do not correct this experience of “feeling lost” or things feeling ‘arbitrary’ in SRA, then they will just remain this way.
So have been pushing to become more specific within SRA so I no longer experience the point of, as if I have not footing or starting point or grounding, rather, I am the footing for myself and so take the opportunity with SRA to simply explore Self. Shit I experience so many doubts, uncertainties and turmoil, it really pushing me to question well, how is this possible, meaning how is it possible that I experience this right now, and really shows me that, Ok here is an experience within my life and within my world where I am having this particular experience so look at why.
I mean it is a New Experience. So yes there is uncertainty as I establish myself within Muscle Communication and establishing communication with my body. Its like I never actually really considered doing this before, as I am realizing as I move though it that, “oh ok, I am establishing actual communication with my body, Ok so how does one do this…and I simply allow the me to be unconditional in this point. To the best of my ability that is