I went drawing for about 2 hours today. When I left, and for the last 3 days now,  a definition of "crazy" i herd once was repeating itself over and over and over in my mind. Crazy: to do the same thing, and expect a different result! As I have been looking at illustration as a potential way to utilize my skills to make money/ support myself, i decided that I would make some drawings that were "more illustrative" More so, I thought it would be cool to explore drawings that perhaps offered subject matter that I would not normally, or haven't really delved into since getting back into the city.  Rather than head into the parks, I decided that I would go into the heart of the city and make some drawings there - Rather than do long drawings as I was before, I decided to do short quick drawings,  drawing on the fly, if you will - The phrase that popped into my mind..."instant drawings" So I moved througout the city over a period of 2 hours making quick sketches of what caught my eye.  Rather than sit down and get comfortable as I was doing with my earlier drawings since getting back,  I litterally would not even sit down, but found standing, and sketching, to work just fine.  I prefered today to move from one spot to the next - walking with, and moving with, the pace of the people and drawing as I went along - I found this "instant drawing" approach to actually be pretty cool - where I was able to draw, for example a corner of a table or someing that I found interesting in the moment, where normally I would have simply passed it by as I looked for a comfortable place to sit enjoy Andrew Gable

I did not really want to draw today. I know we all reach these points - where we just don't really feel like it! I felt as though I had slipped back a few notches on the ladder of momentum I was experienceing myself the exact same way I was when I first arrived back in Calgary, and had NOTHING in my sketchbook. Where to begin? I wondered. I experienced a great resistance to starting making drawings in my sketchbook - This lasted for around 3 drawings, where I had to push myself through  a kind of dissatisfaction/unsatisfactory, And Again today I felt as though I was standing in this place once more. Having to build everything up again. It was cool to see how the resistance dissipated as I drew.  I noticed my concerns/worries/resistances  were met, and dealt with, and that really, all that was required was an "actual doing" to get through them - An "actual doing" rather than a "thinking or worrying" I have included some drawings where I have sectioned off the page into 4 quadrents. I wanted to include these examples because I have found this  sectioning off, to be one of the most useful applications I have "picked - up along the way" - I was introduced to this method of sectioning the page off into smaller portions by landscape painter, John Burton, while I attended the "en plen air masters landscape painting workshop in 2007. And have adoped it ever since. Oh I also included to images showing each half of my face from a self portrait I did becaue i noticed each side looks quite different from the other - In one, I look like my father, and in the other, my mother...interesting. enjoy Andrew Gable

(SEE DRAWINGS AT BOTTOM) I had the opportunity to attend two figure drawing sessions this past week.  It had been a while since i was last drawing from a model and so decided i would re-investigate this process of drawing. I forgot how much I enjoyed drawing from the model. Earlier that week I had been thinking to myself..."wouldn't it be nice if someone would just sit still for a moment so I could draw them. This thought emerging out of the process of simply, drawing the passer's by on the street. One of the reasons why I have also adopted exploring techniques in Landscape painting and drawing, in that - the landscape does not move as dramatically as the human, and offeres the opportunity to explore your medium in a different way - I have found working with the landscape very supportive as I have been experimenting with my latest drawings using pencil crayon on colored paper. Interestingly enough - one of my favoite drawings i did this week, came as I was sitting on the street drawing the passer's by! - I had just boughten a brand new burnt sienna pencil craoyon!!! - woo whoo0....Anyways, I thought I would get a feel for the color by making a quick drawing as I waited for the bus to figure drawing.  "The first drawing of the day"  I explained to a man who asked to see what i was sketching. " To losen up"  and "get the feel of the pencil on the paper" The night before I had attended my first session with the model and spent about three hours drawing (with breaks in beetween) I found the application of drawing the night before assisted much the next day as I nonchalontly sketched 'the passers by"  My observation was stronger and I was able to move much quicker with much less effort and strain. As I draw - this is my goal - I am looking for that natural expression of  drawing.  And I find that the more drawings I do, the more natural my expression becomes in that, that which I strained to draw before now is rendered without thought or hesitation, as if it is nothing, as if it is natural, easy.  I find I enjoy the experience of drawing and painting much more when it becomes natural. When I do not have to think about it, When I do not have to strain to create an image - I mean, don't get me wrong - I have done my fair share of straining (in fact, last week i gave myself a headache as I attempted to filter through what i was seeing onto the page - no more filtering - just draw, I told myself afterwords) So, I have done  Enough straining , to realize that straining is not an expression i would wish to perpetuate - In actuality, i find my interest and observations about working "naturally" Naturally come to me. It just makes sense. So to sum up - I found the two figure drawing sessions were nice to push this point about natural expression - looking at what is the best way for me to create images - where I dont kill myself in the process, but that if becomes about flow - I am finding that the best way to do this - is to just draw naturally, now! That its not something that I have to "build up to" but that if I want to draw naturally - then simply start now - embrace the process of getting to know my medium - and jsut keep it flowy. Within this I find i can breath as I work,  and just draw some shit! Andrew Gable

Who the hell am I, and who have I become? I have to ask...in fact, I am compelled to ask, I cannot help but ask , i Have reached then end where the only thing left to do is ask To look at myself and realize what I am actually living for. What I have accepted as Life and have "made peace with" in terms of what I actually believe this a life is all about. I haven't made that much money selling my art or utilizing my skills as an artist. Mostly I have been reluctant to "put myself out there" I have always taken a passive approach to promoting myself and my art and I see this as one of the main reasons I have never really developed a stable cash flow with my art. Most of the time my art  just piled up in my studio. I Never really considered that I would actually have to sell it myself. That I would have to make myself seen - in the same way as I deliberately painted a painting, I would have to then deliberately place the artwork and myself into view so that it can be seen - a step that I entirely ignored...UNTIL NOW However I am aware of the "starving artist construct" and have observed my experience within this, and my beliefs around this. I am/was fine to create the art, but when it came down to the point of money, I became self conscious and was usually ready to compromise on the selling price. I have done this to the point of  giving it away by donation on the street - to selling original drawings for a few bucks right out of sketchbook.  Even when I was represented by a gallery I always had a fear about the price of my work.  A fear that I would never find a buyer. I can see that this fear did not have so much to do with art as it did with my Fear of having no money - looking at the world and seeing how money basically equals comfort - that was what I was really afraid of not having - Comfort, freedom, the ability to move, to rest comfortably at night - Linking all of these points to money - so really when I had a fear of not selling my art - it was because of the my perceptions/observations of how essential money has become in this world - in the functionality of our existence - And me being afraid of not  having enough to live comfortably in this world. And also for me as an artist - It costs money to create art - And Being an artist is a cool occupation - its like I worked to get myself into a postion that I was utterly afraid of losing - No money = no studio, no art supplies, no dream occupation, and I would find myself working some labor job somewhere - I realize now that there is nothing wrong with working a labor job or something like that - I was working to get my piece of the pie...i just wanted a comfortable life. And I mean how cool would it be to paint paintings all day - it really was a "dream" occupation.  Interesting to what a human being will end up settling for in this world - this existence -  In asking myself - what is actually possible in this existence? and to see that "the bottom line" that I had defined and created for myself all on my own - was to just get my piece of the pie - "to live comfortable" out of infinite potential within existence - this is what I "settled" on - living comforty.  I mean what is actually possible in this world/existence. What are we really capable of.  its seems stupid to have devoted my entire life to "getting comfort" its like I put on the blinders and zeroed in on this one point only - everything I did - was to get that one point. I wonder what we are actually capable of? Surely more than what we have come to know as "living a comfortable life"  If this is all we are living for.....I mean dosent that seem a little funny to you?

Today I went out to do more drawings.  I ended up using colored pencil because I was finding that the graphite from the pencils was smudging to easily on my page - so I decided to use my pencil crayons because they smudge much less.  So I began using color! Again I was keeping it simple for the most part using the colored pencil how I would normally use a pencil - not too much mixing of colors, but rather just using basic colors within an application where still much of the white paper shows through in the end. I realized also that I am in a way prooving myself wrong - how? - I realized that I believe deep down that i wont actually continue on with drawing, that I somehow won't be able to do it - I have noticed this experience going on inside of me.  So this process of drawing daily that I have undertaken is really a point of pushing through resistances, fears, and beliefs i have about what is apparently going to happen in my world. In fact I have found a great resitance to this project and actually have never really gotten back into art since I stopped doing it "seriously" in 2007. But for now I will keep it physical, and trust the physical - meaning - I will simply continue to draw to make physical drawings and work with that.  And I will continue to apply myself in this matter - no matter how much resistance there is. It was nice to get into some color use today - I started out with making a few sketches on the bus. Just to get things started. eventually taking a seat by the river and then in a park to draw the trees. I am looking into figure drawing classes at the moment to get back into drawing the figure which I have always found to be nice. But for now here are the drawings I did today - April 05