I am quite tired at the moment, it is around 9pm but I was up at 6am and my job is physically demanding. Especially when money enter the equation because when money is involved I find myself moving at a pace to make money, not something that is “natural” so to speak, That is one point I noticed about my job, is how money influence the ‘pace’ at which everything moves and “how hard” the people work. For myself I found a few times that I would end up getting hurt if I “moved to make money” then I would have to slow down and move at a pace which support my body, and not necessarily make the most possible money each day at the expense of my physical body. I find this is still quite a point though that comes up daily while I work. This point of making money and also this, in comparison to how much money other people make. I find at the end of each day, my experience of myself goes into a energetic fluctuation being ether positive or negative depending on how much money I made in comparison and relation to the other workers, instead of me simply being here with me, where my experience does not depend or rely or is determined by outside influences, I am aware of this point but find it still comes up daily. One of the points is that I like being seen as good treeplanter, Its like I experience myself as a “good planter” where others see me as a “good planter” and in a way see me as special in a way. Within this I find the experience of myself within my movements is much different, where when I go into the experience of “being seen as a good planter” its like I activate this personality of myself and feel important, and unique. Then at the end of the day when I find out that actually I was just average, and all my specialness is removed, it is as if I can no longer justify me building up myself, through generating a specific energy inside myself through participating with specific thoughts as me being special and unique and thus, I experience a kind of low. Its interesting actually because as I write about it, I actually see that In fact go into a ‘low’ energy where I actually think less of myself, and build up a negative energy of myself though judging myself, as if I am letting myself down, and the only way to ‘feel good about myself’ is to make more money than my fellow employees, so that I am the one seen in the special light. Than I can feel good about myself, but until then, I am just ordinary. I must look at this point more specifically because even though I am aware of the pattern, it has yet to stop, thus I must look at how I created this whole point throughout my life. But as for now I am going to go to sleep, I am tired.
Author Archives: admin
Internet Support Structure for those Standing for Equality
The last few weeks have been interesting as I have gotten back into Canada and have begun establishing myself once again into this world. Reconnecting myself, plugging myself “back-in” to the matrix. This ‘integration’ back into the system has been quite a point I am currently busy walking. One of the dimensions of this “walking back into/integrating” myself back into the system has been the point of “doing this alone” from a certain perspective and experiencing the point of me walking into an environment where what I have come to understand as equality and what I have decided to “stand as” from the perspective of equality is not understood necessarily by others, and that within this, there is certain aloneness. My process of doing this has particularly been one of really being faced with ‘myself’ from this point of aloneness I mention because of the ‘way’ I have begun my integration process back into the system. My focus since returning to Canada has been the point of making money, and within placing this as priority for myself, I have not had the opportunity to “stay connected to” the internet which offers a support structure created by and through the participants of desteni to assist and support themselves and others who have decided to walk and stand as and for equality within this world. So at the moment I have had to let go of that support structure just for a moment as I get myself ‘settled’ within this world from the perspective of ensuring that I have sufficient money to support myself and be able to move and direct myself within this world. In a way there is a fear there as well, a fear that I would lose that support structure, and “get lost” within the system. So I am in a way facing this point also. Facing the point of being able to stand without the support structure which I have in a way had to do for practical reasons related to work as I get myself established.
I must say though it was a very cool experience today, as today we had a day off work and I managed to get myself to an internet connection where I could spend some time on the computer doing desteni related stuff. The ‘cool’ point was to see how the support structure on the internet of those supporting desteni and the point of equality is growing and how much this assisted and supported me within participating within this. I experienced a real point of support there, something substantial that I could/can utilize to assist and support myself in my process of “standing up” within this word. And also to see the point of others also “standing alone” in there processes where I can see that I am not actually alone in this, and that there are others also who are walking just the same as me, and facing similar points of standing up within situations and scenarios where they may experience themselves alone, or misunderstood, or frustrated, or empowered, or enjoying themselves, and in this sharing their experiences over the internet for others to see and relate to, and which may assist another in there process also. So that was a pretty cool point that came up today.
How I am Standing as the Principle of Oneness and Equality.
How I am standing as the principle of oneness and equality.
I stand as the principle of oneness and equality where in I stand, direct myself, live and express myself within establishing an equal system in this world which support all beings to exist equal in all ways. This means that there requires a new world system to be established. One that will support each and every single individual on the planet, as well as the nature and animal kingdom. At the moment this does not exist, not all beings on this planet are being supported equality, many die daily from starvation or war, animals are actually abused, caged and slaughtered to support the very system we have established for ourselves in this world, this atrocity towards animals being committed to support consumerism, or for the entertainment of man, not considering that animals would prefer to be left alone in their natural habitat, rather than balancing on a ball at the whip of man. I no longer support this system we have created for ourselves in this world. A system that obviously does not consider the animals as equal aspects of life. Man does not even consider itself within equality, but rather exist in a world of competition of survival of the fittest. Where man kill, rape, murder, abuse each other to come out the victor. The one on top. Thus my standing is not in support of the current system, and the current world as how it exist at the moment, but rather, I stand in support of an equal in all ways system. In my stand I direct and apply myself to bring about this change until it is here, no matter what. Within this I make myself visible within this world, and stand within this world as a visible symbol which support equality in all ways. I must become visible as to take the place of the current system which at the moment is that which is visible. One point in establishing and bringing forth of an new world system – A world system that support all equally, giving all beings an “equal footing” upon which to stand is the point of an equal money system. I stand in support of an equal money system. A system where every individual on the planet gets, as a birth right, a set amount of money each month to support them with the basic living requirements from their birth to their death. This amount established will be enough to live on, to always have food to eat and a roof over ones head, and take care of the basic needs a human being has within living in this world. Along side this will be an equal labour system where credits/money can be accumulated by working, where one receive one credit per one hour of work, no matter what job you do.
For more information regarding the equal money system please visit desteni.ca.zo
The only ones stopping us from establishing a new system that is best for ALL is ourselves. There is no way one can defend a system and a world that so clearly and visibly abuses life. As can be seen anytime one turns on the TV or computer. The system and “way of life” that currently exist is not best for ALL. In order to bring forth a new system, a new way of life, best for all we must stop existing as who we are currently existing and living as. We must from the perspective of “making room” stop participating in our lives and patterns and routines that currently take up all our time, otherwise there will be no room for anything new, just the same thing that has always existed, thus I realized I must give up my life, to establish a new one, that is best for ALL. I Cannot change if I continue to live the same way that I always have. I must actually stop and change how I live, until I transform my old way of living with a new way of living which support equality for ALL. This process will take time, and as we bring in the new system of equality, we must for the time being use the existing system as a temporary bridge until it is no longer required. Thus we cannot all simply stop working at our jobs or using money, that is not practical – it will be an emergence, a transition, and will require a discipline walk until the new system is in place, no matter how long it takes.
How to Speak and Communicate with Others
One of the more primary points I have faced since returning to the Matrix, to the world and begin setting up and living my life once more, after living two years on the Desteni Farm, is the overwhelmingness of everything, of the engulfing nature of the system, and specifically within this my communication with other beings. Where in the point of ‘Overwhelmingness’ comes up once again from the perspective of being faced with the point of that everyone I speak to does not have the same context so to speak, of what self honesty or self forgiveness or self responsibility or what it means to be equal or consider all life, as I have come to understand and have these points explained and shown to me. In this I have experienced a bombardment of sorts of beings speaking and living so blatantly from my perspective as systems, as predesigned ways and styles of speaking, communicating and interacting that is presented as a means of supporting specific constructs within this reality, such as to get sex, or be seen as cool, or to get attention, etc. So within this I experienced a point of overwhelmingness, and a fear that I would be swallowed up in a way, from the perspective of “how am I, one single point, supposed to stand, to last, amongst all of these other points which are everywhere and speaking the same language. I feared being amalgamated, that I would not be able to stand, and in this I experience an anxiety which comes up in my chest. This anxiety/fear is similar to the other points of fear that I had related to money where I would in a way “jump to conclusions” of what might happen, before giving myself some grace where in I actually assess my standing based on actually space time living, not simply assumptions of what may or may not happen based on nothing but projections into the future and ideas and beliefs of what might happen to me. I have had many discussions since returning to the Matrix. My First step was flying into Calgary where I had a few friends that said I could stay with them for a day or two while I got myself sorted. My experience of myself in Calgary was in a word…unsettled. It was my introduction back into the world in a way, and to friends that I knew in the past yet had stopped keeping in touch with as I began with my process, the reason being, was that they way they lived and participated within this world, was the way I was no longer participating in from the perspective of assisting and supporting myself to change and transform myself to stand as what is best for all, thus I parted ways with these people, as I could not longer live in the world “this way” meaning drinking and partying, and hanging out and not really ever getting to know myself on a level that actually made sense. So when I returned to Calgary I met with these people once again. Everything in the way they spoke I observed as a kind of code, like a fuzzy logic, where each point was preprogrammed and all you had to do was know the program to be able to interact within the group and within the code or language that the group had created for themselves. Specific tonalities were accepted, and kinds of jokes, or phrases, or different levels of sarcasm. Obviously it can be difficult to enter into a new situation and immediately get to a point of self intimacy or a more direct communication with beings, but I found myself, “sitting and waiting” allot, meaning, I experienced at times that very little was ever being said, and that there was very little direction, and so my sitting and waiting was because I usually had nothing to say or include as they spoke about whatever it was they spoke about. So I can say patients has been one of the points that I have required within my application of myself since being back, patients with others, not to expect them to be something they are not, or to understand where I coming from , but that if I was in there shoes, I would have not choice but to accept the group language and join the group to be able to live and exist in this world. So there have been a point of not allowing myself to go into judgement towards others for who they are currently existing as but to see the point for what it is, and that I cannot expect them communicate as anything other than systems as they live in the core of the system, within a big city. I must say though that this to offers one of the most enjoyable points that has opened up since being back, and that is, when the opportunity comes up to explain my perspective and communicate my perspective. I have thoroughly enjoyed creating the context for beings to be able to understand what I am saying and within what context I am speaking within. Because from their point of view they really have almost no context what so ever of where I am and what I have come to understand, it is quite fun to see where I being is and how to communicate to them from the perspective of how to create a context, a picture, a foundation for them to begin understanding and seeing what I am speaking about and where I am coming from. I experience that point as being very creative and very much enjoy that.
When I went out treeplanting this was about a week or so since getting back, I found more of the same, that being, most people if not all of them were very much focused on drinking, partying, and sex or relationship. I spent each evening in my room relaxing after work and beginning with my process of writing to assist and support myself while back in the matrix. After numerous nights of this, I did begin to experience a frustration coming up inside me with regards to “how am I supposed to communicate with these people” from the perspective of I experienced myself as very distant from them, and each night after work when they all met to “get to know each other” so to speak, it was always within the context of drinking alcohol and getting drunk which I had not interest what so ever in doing, thus I found it “difficult” to “get to know” anyone. I felt distant and like an outsider in a way, yet at the same time, had begun to enjoy time with myself as well. I see the point of self trust within this point from the perspective of not allowing myself to trust the thoughts and voices that come up in my mind saying that I a recluse or isolated and just to remain patient with the process of getting to know others, who don’t necessarily stand exactly where I stand, yet are in my world, meaning there is a point of equality within that, within the very fact that these are the people that are in my immediate environment, and within this not to dismiss them even though on the surface it can seem like we stand worlds apart.
How to Actually Change – PARTICIPATE – in What is Best For ALL
Participation.
Participation is not energy, meaning, it does not require energy to participate. Participation is an ACT. An Act that supports all life equally. AN act that takes all life into consideration where when one act, One do so in support of All life.
Participation is measureable in the physical. And ones participation within oneness and equality is measureable in that the physical manifested measureable result of ones participation is so, that it, in fact supports All life equally. There is no denying or disputing it. It is Here as the physical.
Thus Participation cannot be disputed, as it is an actual measureable act in the physical that supports all life and supports the transformation of our physical world. Our physical world that currently exist as structures and cities and systems that do not support ALL life equally. Thus our participation will support and bring forth the transformation of this current world into a world that support ALL life equally. Within this the systems of this world that do not support all life equally must go, must no more exist, and this actually has to be done in our participation in fact. Our Money system does not support all equally, our education system does not support all equally, our government system does not support all equally, to name a few. And so these systems must go. And be replaced by new systems brought forth from those participants walking and standing as what is best for ALL.
In order for systems to be placed that support all life equally, One who decides to walk this path must actually understand what it means, to support all life equally.
The point I see within this is that if I accept limitation within myself, meaning there is point within self that I do not understand or am not aware of, than in fact I am not in awareness of ALL life as I am not even aware of all parts of my immediate self. If this is so than I am not able actually to set up a system that supports ALL life, as I am not yet aware of all life. Thus I can only extend as far as my own awareness. I can only create that which I am as my awareness. I create that which I am. Than the question is, who am I really?
What is important to me in my life?
What am I giving attention to?
What am I wanting, what am I desiring.
Where is my attention.
And within these points – what am I actually implying about “who I am” and what I stand for in this reality. Am I in fact standing for what is best for all, if my attention is given to desires of self interest and personal comforts.
Although within this I see the common sense necessity to “focus on myself” Not from the perspective of “self interest” but rather from the perspective of actually becoming effective within this world, in so that I am able to actually assist and support actual change in bringing forth a one and equal system that is best for all. This means to participate within my world in such a way that I develop the necessary skills that I will require to become highly functioning, within this current world and current system. Within this I am able to place myself in a position of support in bringing forth new systems within this world that support all life equally, and that this support and “bringing forth” is measurable, and becomes visible within this world. Because at the end of the day. In order to change something, it has to actually change in fact. There is no middle ground, or opinion, or question – it either changes or does not. The Participant exists according to actual measurable change.
The only point that is valid is participation, because the points that are valid in this world are those points that are REAL. That actually exist, and actually impact and influence everyone’s life.
There is no middle ground with the participant – If there is no change occurring, than there is no participant. The Participant is equivalent to the actual physical measureable change.
Ultimately An actual physical measurable change within the systems of this world must actually exist in FACT. And to change the currently existing systems practically, that have been built over thousands and thousands of years, brick by brick, step by step, breath by breath, will not simply just happen without some effort, some application, some participation. It must physically, practically, Actually be done. And that will take some time, especially if no one actually see that that is what must be done in this world. And furthermore actually start to participate in the change once they do see that things must change, and stop waiting for someone else to “gather the troops” to take on the roles that are necessary to actually begin making a measureable impact in this world. Only now this measurable impact is being done so from a different perspective. The perspective of what is best for all.
No one is exempt from how the system operate and function. So those that are acting and participating in the best interest of all, must walk the same path so to speak that those who are currently in power and running this planet, have walked. Practically speaking.
One must participate within the system as how it currently exist until the system is changed.
So to walk as Participant Bringing forth actual physical measureable change to this world and the world systems to Support All Life Equally. Will take some diligence.
Essentially the same process that took place to create this world as how it currently exist, must take place again.
Our current world was created within the starting point of self interest. Walked, and lived, step by step, brick, by brick, in self interest.
What we must do now is walk the path again, step by step, brick by brick, but this time from a different starting point. The starting point of What is Best For A
shaving hair at faceworld
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLI14B0KOQg]
Hair Today Gone Tomorrow
for lots of hair shaving photos visit
Comical Sense Drawing – PREY to God.
Comical Sense – BEARTH (Birth) – Earth Yourself Birth Yourself
Bearth
(Birth)
(Earth Yourself Birth Yourself)
Bearth – To ‘Bearth’ yourself, is to stop your mind. Your mind as who you are currently existing as, as thoughts, pictures, ideas, beliefs, emotions, and feelings. To STOP yourself completely, so that ‘you’ no longer exist, And you are again, as you were as a child. You were empty. And from HERE, from emptiness, your BEARTH yourself into existence once more. Only this time you do it from the starting point of ONENESS and EQUALITY within the principle of What is Best for ALL is Best for Self. And as you live, you live in the interest of all, and act in the interest of ALL beings on this planet, within this existence. And in this assist and support the transformation of this existence to one where we no longer have to exist within fear, in anger, in sadness, regret, suffering. We transform this existence to where killing each other in the name of money or religion no longer exist. It is to start OVER completely. And to do this, first one must STOP who they currently exist as. As, who they currently exist as, as thoughts, ideas, beliefs, perceptions, feelings, emotions, is tied to, interwoven, intertwined into this world system that currently exist, and so one must stop oneself completely and return to the state of a child – empty. And begin again. And thus you BEARTH yourself. The process of BEARTH begins now, as the process of BEARTH is a walking from this point as who you currently exist as backwards. Until you are again at zero. Within this you use EARTH as a TOOL to re-birht yourself and re-birth this world into one that supports ALL life equally and no more allow the atrocities that currently exist in this world – war, rape, murder, animal abuse, starvation, this is unacceptable as LIFE.
To stop yourself, to stop your MIND, you utilize earth as a tool to assist and support you to remain HERE, as you STOP participating with who you are, as who you are within and as your mind. And to do this, you focus Here, on the physical, on Earth. You focus on the practical, on the physical 3d world. That which you can touch. And in this you no longer “go into” your mind, which is yourself, so deeply woven into the fabric of this existence, that is currently not supporting all life equally. But you remain HERE as the pysical earth, And so you extract yourself, so to speak, from this existence, from your mind. And EARTH becomes a tool to support you within your extraction, your stopping participation with your mind – your mind which is currently everything of yourself which you contain and store within your mind. And so you breath and you remain HERE in the physical, you focus yourself on the physical and assist and support yourself to stop yourself from going into your mind, as you are now stopping who you have accepted and allowed yourself and this world to become. And you BEARTH yourself, you STOP yourself as your mind. You APPLY yourself in the physical, you move in the physical. You no longer dwell within your mind, but allow yourself to no longer give energy and attention to your mind, as who you are. You stop You, until you are still – calm, inside yourself. And you use earth as a tool to assist and support you to let yourself go, by no longer paying any attention to who you were/are as the mind, but rather place your attention HERE in the moment, in the physical moment within which you exist. And this is how you utilize the physical, the earth, to support you in stopping you as the mind. And BEARTHING yourself as that which support all life equally.
Energy Monster
I have accepted and allowed myself to express myself from the perspective of trying to get others to listen to me.
The point I see is that who I am as the expression of myself is not really me, from the perspective that when I express myself, I am not expressing ‘myself’ from the starting point of expressing myself as “unconditional expression” but rather, from the starting point of expressing myself, so that I get a response, meaning, that I want others to ‘respond’ in such a way that “they see me” or ‘acknowledge’ me in “a certain way”. Within this I am experiencing and seeing my self expression as, not being authentic. Authentic from the perspective that I express myself, not in wanting to “get results” but from the starting point of me expressing me, with no desired outcome, realizing that I am simply sharing myself. And that I do not “require” to get anyone’s attention or approval, or to get a specific desired response out of them.
I am finding my expression very ‘unsatisfying’. This has been my experience of myself of late, which is actually cool. Why? Because I am seeing “who I am” in my expression, and this ‘seeing’ is becoming quite obvious, where before I did not see what I was doing, and where now, I am, in that I see in most of what I am expressing/speaking, is not really me.
What I mean in saying that this “is not really me” is that I see that this expression, that is not really me, which is revealing itself more and more, in moments where before I would not see it, is not really me because it is ‘so fake’. Instead of actually expressing myself, I automatically “go to” certain responses or phrases, or sayings, or words, that I believe will garner a certain, specific, response from those around me, instead of, me actually expressing myself in self honesty, in saying what I really have to say, in where I express me without trying to get a certain reaction or response out of another.
So my expression is not really me – because in fact it is “to get a response” it is an act, a calculation, it is manipulation- to see if “I can get something” not actually, expressing myself,
and this is what I “call’ self expression.
As if “we as ourselves” do not actually ever speak, but have what we are going to say or possibly say, already all mapped out and programmed in, for every possible experience that may occur for the rest of our lives, so that when the moment arrives to communicate, we are not actually speaking as ourselves in the moment with “what is really here” but actually are speaking as an automatic all-ready program, just pulling up files, that in fact has nothing to do with the moment but solely with attempting to get energy – this is how I have been experience myself in communication.
I have looked at why this is, and what I see is that this is related to energy creation. The words and phrases we have accepted as ourselves, and stored and compiled within ourselves for possible use, are those that have been observed by us, to get a specific response. Meaning, that it generates “a specific kind of energy” that we have accepted and allowed, ourselves to define and create as ourselves, thus – we are always looking for ways to GET this energy which essentially, is a means of survival, or self creation, as the more of the kinds of energies we get that we like, and have created ourselves as, the ‘MORE’ , “we are” so to speak, from an energy perspective– thus when ever a moment arrives to communicate with another, we ignore the moment completely, we disregard the moment, and instead of speaking within the moment as self presence, we, instead of actually communicating as ourselves, deliberately go into “program –mode” and begin to pull out, and place “common pre-programmed responses/ phrases” we have all-ready compiled within ourselves, to GET ENERY. Fuck communication, I want energy. I don’t care what you are really saying, I would rather just try and extract energy from this moment. We as humanity are ruthless and unrelenting in our wanting, wanting, wanting. I have observed this point within myself. That I don’t actually speak to beings, but in fact manipulate them and manipulate the moment to get more energy, to feel alive.
Comical Sense Common Sense
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKlX4kGP-E8]
Art is a tool I use to explore this world and this reality. It is a point where I am able to express myself in specific ways as a point of reflection where the work of art becomes a reflection of myself and within this I am able to see myself. So it is a process of revalation, where I reveal myself to me, and within this develop insight and common sense within this world.